Zen Dialogues

Reflections from Japan's Buddhist Traditions

I lied about being a virgin.

I'm a 38 year old single woman. A few weeks ago, I had sex with my 12 year older boyfriend. Because I was in so much pain, I thought, “Is this my first time?” When asked, I immediately told a lie saying that was the case. My first experience was raped by an acquaintance. I became scared when...

5 responses

I'm looking for a temple.

A long time ago, I had a dream of praying at a temple mausoleum, but it's a temple I don't know at all, so I don't know where it is. I've been looking for it, but I don't know. It's a very large mausoleum, and there are doors so large that a black lacquer person could enter, and there are two or...

3 responses

I end up asking myself

I have an older brother. We haven't seen each other in over 30 years. My husband and I did both my grandmother's funeral and my father's funeral. My grandmother took care of her for 3 years, and my father took care of her for 14 years. I'm grateful to my husband. It was a huge financial...

3 responses

Seventh taboo

My father died seven times. My mother left behind has few pensions and doesn't have much savings. I want to do my father's memorial service, but I can't afford it, so I'm worried. Is it a punishment for not doing a proper memorial service? Would my father be sad?

3 responses

I don't understand the value of my existence at work.

I moved to a new job this year. I'm a high school teacher. I was transferred quickly, and I'm in charge. There are about 10 grade staff, and I am the only new member. It seems like my homeroom teacher became me due to the Elimination Act. The co-teacher is a man who has passed his 60th...

4 responses

I'm tired.

Please help. They both remarried and got married, and our eldest son is my stepchild The two daughters are children of their remarriage partner. My husband is currently separated. Marriage is my husband's gambling debts and changing jobs Repeated violence also continued for over 10...

4 responses

Time goes by and I'm worried about love

I'm sorry. There may be times when I am a little affected by the trouble at the street party the other day, but I would be grateful if you would listen to my worries. I went to a street party the other day, and at first, the tempo of conversation with the number one person I met at that time was...

4 responses

Isn't the way of faith self-reliant

I've always believed in Amitabha and thought I'd be taken to the Pure Land. I don't understand the difficult teachings of the Jodo Shinshu sect. I asked AI myself and listened to monk stories on YouTube. I know Amitabha Buddha's original wish, the teachings of Shinran. I have simply believed...

4 responses

Why are these people my parents...

When I confide my pain about my parents, they always come back saying “even though they raised me,” “your parents are disloyal,” and “you are spoiled,” and it's lonely that no one understands it. What's more, they don't believe what my parents did at all. I grew up being abused by my parents....

4 responses

I'm always jealous and come to retirement

I'm a housewife in my mid-forties, and I had many years of trouble, so I talked to them. I've been very popular with men since I was young. From when I was in high school, when I got involved even a little with my classmates, school/cram teachers, clerks, people going out to town, and men, I...

4 responses

I want to talk to the monk

How can I ask the monk to ask for advice before? So, I got an answer in my worry post that it would be better to call the temple and ask if they could talk to them, and then get an appointment. That's fine, but... - Recently, I've been going directly to the temple to see the monk, even if it's...

4 responses

About people who are obsessive and harass you

I've been doing the same thing over and over for years, and I'm worried, but even if I keep my distance from wandering around in front of my house after work (not in the neighborhood) and saying strange things in front of other people at work, when I'm alone, they stick out my tongue and make a...

4 responses

I'm filled with the feeling that I've failed in my life

Nice to meet you, I would like to discuss your concerns. I'm a 49 year old female. I have a husband, but I don't have children. I've felt that life is difficult since I was a child, but recently I've come to feel it noticeably. I aimed for a creative job because I wanted to make a...

4 responses

My wish came true and I received a degree, but the humanity of the master and monk...

https://hasunoha.jp/questions/77618 This is a continuation of the question above. There was also the fact that the person who introduced me worked enthusiastically, so I received a score at a temple about 100 km away. I went to the trouble several times before receiving it, and after being...

4 responses

I want to become a monk of the Jodo Shinshu Otani school!!

I am interested in Shugendo, and while continuing my Yamabushi practice, I have had a desire for years to become a monk of the Shingon sect. I intend to continue my own faith while working as a member of society. Meanwhile, I heard the story of a Jodo Shinshu Otani school monk I met at a...

4 responses

How to overcome remorse and self-blame

I would like some advice on how to think about regret and self-blame. Currently, I regret naming my daughter. As a result of considering the origin and number of strokes, I made the kanji sound like a kanji from a year ago and not modern. (I've written a few more details in my profile) I was...

4 responses

I changed jobs, got sick, and worried about the future

Even though it's only been a few months since I changed jobs, my mental and physical condition is getting worse, absenteeism has increased, and it's very stressful and painful to be in a situation where I have to decide whether to continue or retire. I've managed to live my life with the help of...

4 responses

I have no work experience

I'm currently 28 years old, and I haven't worked since I graduated from a correspondence high school. I've never lived alone, I have no common sense or manners, 10 years have passed, and I'm still unemployed and have no place to stay. I don't even want to do an interview, and it makes me think...

4 responses

I feel like I have to make friends

Hello. Not having any friends is very complicated. This is because I think it is the presence or absence of friends of the same sex that you feel necessary without romantic feelings affects your value. I have a partner who has been around for 5 years. We are able to be natural with each...

4 responses

Should I move on or let go

I have a lover that I've been dating for 3 years. When I'm with him, I feel as natural as my family. There's a sense of security that they accept whatever kind of person you are, and it's fun to be with them. In fact, even when we kept our distance once, I missed my time with him, and we...

4 responses

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