My son's life

I'm worried about my second son in his third year of high school

My second son said he wanted to do a job helping people in the future since he was in elementary school
Recently, the attitude of listening to people's conversations is also bad
They said that reporting and consultation is important for the job I'm aiming for, but even though I applied for the entrance exam at the prep school, there are no reports or consultations
I blamed your second son for not being crazy
My second son said he intended to talk about the details once they were decided
For me, that's crazy!
If you don't report and talk to your parents, you have to worry about what's going to happen and you have to prepare money
Beforehand, do this and this with my prep school teacher
Because this is what it's about
I also finished applying for the exam today
Don't say it when you know the details again
I asked if reporting it to my parents was not what it was originally like and whether that was different from the fact that the other party felt safe with the report

My second son's attitude was that I meant I understood the details, and he wasn't wrong!
that was such an arrogant attitude
I was wondering if that was the attitude of listening to people's conversations, and they grabbed their chest and turned their faces at me
There are times when the second son is emotional
I hit him
For me, it's like a fight between men
There is a part where it's okay to have it, but even after that, I haven't even tried to understand what people are saying
Act with emotion
I told you that's stupid, but the second son
I just ran out of the house
I broke my mouth when I was hit, so I went straight to the hospital and couldn't catch my second son by chasing him.
My grandmother lived nearby that day
I went there
The next morning, I got a phone call and my second son
I've apologized for what I did yesterday
I am
The person who said he wanted to help people
not to help people
To protect myself or not
Something that just acts violently out of emotion
I asked my second son if he was eligible to be a firefighter who is a civil servant
I told you yesterday that my second son and myself were not worth doing
For my part, I don't think my current second son is eligible, so I think it would be better to switch to general employment
I'm at a loss as to whether it's better to think about a slight chance to start over
I think it's important how we should be as a person, but what kind of thoughts should we have?
Please tell me. Thank you for your support.

4 Zen Responses

Orthodoxy

What the stubborn old man said is correct.
However, if the theory of human justice is thrown around, it's probably tempting to fight back.
It's also a particularly sensitive period in the third year of high school,

The fact that I raised my hand to my father
My son can apologize, and I think it's wonderful.
Please forgive them.

Please show me your huge back with your father's love.

Of course, it's not good that I just raised my hand to my dad,
Please don't blame me for not being qualified any more.

There are human mistakes and mistakes.

I would like you to support my son on his journey to becoming a firefighter.

Stand on a tree and watch

Stubborn old man

My name is Shakkeishin.

I was able to take a look.

“Forgiveness” (you)
These are my favorite words, and they are in the Analects of Confucianism.

It's like this.

Zigong asked and said
“Is there anyone who should put it in one word and do it for life?”
(If there's one word that lasts a lifetime, what would it be?)

The child says
“Forgive me for that? Do not do to others what you don't want them to do to you”
(Is that forgiveness? (Assume it to yourself, and don't do to others what you don't want.)

I really like this, and I think it's important.

The meaning is not very difficult, but it is difficult to stick to this all the time and keep in mind.

My second son is at a crossroads in his life when he is 3 years old in high school.

I don't know if it's a little different from the stubborn old man's thoughts,
I'm sure, in the midst of worries, OK! I'm guessing that when they got angry, they put together their own intentions and the content to be conveyed, and at the end of the day, they always reported it to their parents, but I think so.

I don't think there are any problems at all between men in a fight.
I have an idea too.

Even the stubborn old man always conveys the words and actions he took because he was worried about his second son with a serious look.

When we become adults, we all look at things from an adult's point of view; when we become parents, we all look at things from my point of view.
I will tell you that this is my wisdom for ordinary people.

Once I become an adult, it's hard for me to look at the heart of an 18-year-old's troubled career path.

The title I chose this time is
This is the origin of the character “parent.”

It may be difficult, but I would like you to look at my second son's past, present, and future from a slightly higher point of view, and support him on top of that.

I asked them to choose something, and I would like to cheer them on.

The feeling of being held back by a rational argument

He's a splendid son with lofty ambitions. When I read the text, I was convinced that it was because of my father's honest personality.

I think everything your father says is correct.
“There are no reports or consultations,” “arrogant attitudes,” “people who commit emotional violence are not eligible to take the exam,” etc., and I think the father faced his sons every time there was an incident and was admonished, not limited to this case.

However, it is also true that if orthodoxy is imposed, it will only be possible to return it due to backlash. The more honest the other person is, the more they control the other person's heart by holding up the right argument.
From my son's point of view, even though he knew “the right thing was being said,” he may have felt like he was being held back by rational arguments while feeling like he was being held back by rational arguments.

If you polarize things too much, saying “well, that's strange” or “this is how it should be,” relationships will also become strained. One characteristic of Japanese culture is the aesthetics of ambiguity, represented by the “veranda that is neither outside nor inside” values unique to Japanese houses.
One way might be to get essences from such places and try using them in everyday conversation.

My son probably likes his dad (although he's stubborn). I think he is a straightforward young man who can fully sublimate himself by taking on duties as a public servant to protect human lives, even when he is violent and emotional.
Please let them move forward.

Stubborn old man
In our generation, my grandfather called white things “black!” Speaking of which, it's a generation that recognized it as black, so I don't even understand the feelings of a stubborn old man (laughs)
Please face your son and have a good discussion. I think the exchanges on this site will also be helpful to my son.

Trust your son 100% and leave it to him without interrupting him.
If Dad were able to do that, he would definitely be “happy, happy” in the future.

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