About the heirs of the temple

I was born and raised as the eldest daughter of a temple. Currently, as a member of society, I am living alone away from my parents' house.

I have a younger brother and sister who are a little apart, and since my younger brother was born, my younger brother has been raised as a temple heir. However, his younger brother is in a rebellious period and says he doesn't want to take over the temple.

I myself never had a particularly good feeling just because I grew up in a temple; rather, I only felt negative, so I understand my younger brother's feelings very well.

My father, who is the chief priest, seems to be taking a strong stand against my younger brother by saying pessimistic things such as “if my younger brother doesn't take over,” and “will it end in my generation already?”

Also, when I had a discussion with my father the other day, I was told things like “there is a possibility that the three siblings will inherit equally” and “only you get married first and get out of the succession issue once and for all.”

However, even though they have male siblings, I don't feel that it is very acceptable for women to take over temples no matter what form they say.

Also, seeing my younger brother, who has been given preferential treatment by his father since he was born, makes me wonder what these past years have been like when I have had a hard time.

Above all, if I wait until siblings who are years apart decide on a career path, I think my life will be ruined.

I understand the feeling that I want my younger brother to inherit the temple that continued until my father's generation. Even though I say there is a possibility that my younger sister and I will take over, I think the best thing is to want my younger brother to take over.

However, my father's attack on my younger brother is strong, and I often take it for granted that they don't like me. I understand my brother's feelings too painfully.

Isn't there a way to solve it peacefully and without anyone feeling bad about it?

4 Zen Responses

Experienced people talk

When I was in high school, I didn't like career guidance time. I knew about the rails that had been laid, so I thought, “Dreams for the future? “Wow, I don't have the freedom to choose a career!!” I seriously thought that. I feel like I wrote it on paper to be submitted to some kind of school. But I didn't object to inheriting the temple itself. That's probably because my father raised me with plenty of time. This is an exchange over dinner when I was in middle school.

Father “What does Daiji (pseudonym) want to be in the future?”
I'm a baseball player
Father: “Well, that's not good. Good luck.”
Mother “... is that good? (whisper)”
Father: “Yeah, baseball players retire at age 30, or 40 at the longest.”
Mother “Ahhh, that's right”

In other words, it doesn't matter if my father comes back and takes over while my father is alive and well. It's a story about the same even if it's a general job like an office worker... Therefore, inheriting a temple itself didn't often cause me to be mentally cornered. Even so, I didn't like it when I didn't like it. It wasn't until I got a part-time job when I was a college student that I really made up my mind.

Regardless of the field, I think gifted education will make children want to run away. Sun Tzu said it too. When attacking, you must not create a perfect encirclement. Be sure to make an escape route in one place... First, why don't you make a margin for your little brother to worry about himself? I think I'll be able to do something about it if I leave it alone. No, I think leaving it alone is something that makes you more aware.

The most motivated person

Successions are on a case-by-case basis.
It varies depending on the temple.
So I don't know what is the best thing to do. The situation changes every day.
However, since men and women are equal in Buddhism, it is not decided that men will take over.

The first candidates for heirs are your three siblings, cousins, their spouses, apprentices, and people who come from other temples.
The situation changes day by day, so unexpected people may take over.
The most important thing is that temples belong to parishioners and believers.
Therefore, the person who works the hardest for the parishioners and believers should take over.
If your siblings, cousins, or spouses don't have motivated people, you should call someone motivated from another temple.
However, if your siblings aren't motivated, it's probably because your father didn't teach you anything about Buddhism, sects, or the role of temples, even though it's rude.
Therefore, I think it would be a good idea to first obtain the qualifications of the three brothers and sisters as monks.
Wouldn't it be possible to get it while working? In the process, how about learning exactly what Buddhism and sects are, and what is the role of temples?
I think it's okay to make a decision based on that.
In the meantime, the situation may change again.
I'm sure the Buddha will guide you in a good direction.
Also, I think it would be better for my younger brother to have the experience of working at a general company at least once. It's a valuable experience, and it will expand your knowledge and horizons.
Namu Amida Buddha.

Think about what the temple's main business is. Worst of all, conditions my younger brother is satisfied with.

If you don't want to take over, it's a good idea to give it to someone who wants to be the chief priest.
Eventually, you and your parents won't be able to live.
Then it becomes clear that our problems are luxurious worries.
If you let someone else take over, you'll lose your parents' house. I can't go back or go home.
In the first place, Oji is a corporation, so we are just temporarily placed there.
I don't even have any property.
I am also the second son of the temple, and even though it is said that he took over the temple, when I was young, I was given a temple like Ikuzo Yoshi's song as my master told me.
♪ Huh, no parishioners, no halls, no cemeteries, no Buddhist altar fittings.
This is the beginning. You guys are blessed.
Huh... even now, parishioners, graveyards, and no income ♪
The only way for an empty temple to earn living expenses is to work more and more.
I want to increase my income even a little bit, so I do trouble consultations, telephone consultations, and direct problem consultations, but 90% of them don't give out one sentence of Vita. I envy internal medicine teachers and fortune tellers.
money chodai. lol
There are no funerals. Isn't there a memorial service twice a year?
Therefore, I went to the main temple to help and received money.
It was hell there too ('◉ ◉) what my father and mother say is always different.
My father would like me to follow in the footsteps of my mother, and my older brother who has left. I always tell my husband, and my kids to come out in the shadows. Because of that, I didn't have the energy to remember the names of the parishioners, and I was sad not being able to show up at the caretaker meeting where I work on a daily basis. There was an execution where five bodies of cows were pulled by ropes and torn apart under old execution laws, but I live my life with that feeling every day.
I also understand your brother's feelings. Parents probably don't understand how children feel.
Temples are difficult because they are tied up when they have family and siblings. I understand it very well.
However, temples are places for missionary work.
If you aren't saved, you won't feel the need for it.
I am working here at Hasunoha Temple? as part of the temple.
That's why there are people like this too.
What should a temple do? It might be a good idea to think about it again.

Toward true awareness of Buddhism

Marco

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

After all, as is the case with monks, everything is the same, there is no motivation or motivation, no ambition, and they can't help but do it... then, there is no way that things will go well with stakeholders, such as the temple family, parishioners, officers/presidents, etc., and there will be a lot of trouble and trouble...

Also, the person himself is unable to handle stress, dissatisfaction, etc., and it is possible that feelings of being too depressed will eventually become a mental illness such as depression or adjustment disorder... in pretty bad cases, they occasionally run into crimes to relieve stress... it is truly a tragedy if that happens...

If I make a mistake, I'll look back and say it was a bad life...

So where did it change... After all, it was a true awareness of Buddhism.

Anyway, if I hadn't been aware of the precious and wonderful Buddhism, to be honest, it would have been dangerous...

So, how we should notice it... probably depends on the circumstances in each case, and in order to notice it, it may still be necessary to have a certain amount of trouble and suffering. It feels like if you don't put up with the hardships, endure, and do your best to climb a tough mountain path aiming for the summit, you won't be able to encounter wonderful scenery.

Anyway, I think it is one way to listen to stories from our ancestors, such as Hasunoha, in order to become aware of true Buddhism. Please let your troubled brother know about the existence of hasunoha and recommend using it. It might be a good trigger.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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