Is there a way to get rid of feelings?

This is my first time asking a question.
The sentences are cluttered and difficult to read, but please forgive me.

I have a husband, and my husband's best friend (I'll call you Mr. A) There are quite frequent cases where 3 people, including those, play together.
It's been since the beginning of my relationship with my husband, so we've been in a relationship for about 10 years.
I had similar interests and ways of thinking with Mr. A, and it was a lot of fun to talk about, and I gradually became interested every time I played with him a few times.
It was about 3 years ago that I realized I liked Mr. A.

I know very well that it's no good to fall in love with someone else even though you have a husband.
However, if I had an affair with Mr. A, etc., it is clear that my husband would be betrayed by his wife and his best friend, and he would be traumatized for the rest of his life, so I didn't want to have a relationship with Mr. A.
I also made an effort to get rid of my feelings of love for Mr. A, and I was also thinking that time would resolve it.
However, not only was it resolved over time, but my feelings increased year by year.

I asked myself over and over again why my feelings don't disappear and increase, and what I want to do.
Among them, only one thing is clear: I feel sorry for my husband for always having this kind of feeling. Come on, I have to let go of this feeling. That was it.

So what should we do?
The conclusion I came to after thinking about it was that the two of us met Mr. A once to confirm my feelings.
I'm really sorry for my husband, but...

Then, the two of them actually met and had a more in-depth conversation than usual. (When 3 people play, they don't really talk about romance.)
What I learned there was that there was someone I liked, that they thought I was an important companion, and that my ideal man would surely be someone like Mr. A.

At that time, I sincerely thought that if there was someone I liked, I would wish for happiness with that person.
Also, I thought that I would build a happy family with my husband.
However, thinking so is fleeting, and imagining Mr. A being with a woman makes me envious, and it becomes painful.
I've been thinking about it for many years, so maybe it's not something that easily disappears, but it's very painful.

What exactly should I do to get rid of this feeling?
Is it impossible to get rid of it?

3 Zen Responses

Isn't it okay not to erase feelings

It is said that she has fallen in love with her husband's friend.

Wouldn't it be nice to think that you like it in your heart?
However, I don't think it's good to go out with friends while continuing a relationship with your husband. Are you prepared to properly end your relationship with your husband?
Of course, even if you get divorced, there's no guarantee that things will work out with that friend.

Wouldn't it be nice to think that far and put into action?

The feeling of liking someone isn't a bad thing. If you try to erase it, that feeling will only get stronger.
You just have to leave it as it is.

Maybe time will solve it

I don't think there's any need to rush.
Time will resolve it.
You'd better think that love and marriage are different things.
From now on, I will continue to meet wonderful people of the opposite sex other than my husband. If you flinch every time, you'll end up living a sloppy life.

Think of love as the devil's temptation to destroy your happy home.
You can't get rid of the devil, but it's OK if you don't follow the devil.

There is a possibility that you will like anyone

A friend of mine says, “Tange, I was confessed by 7 women on the train today, and I fell in love with 7 women (laughs).”
“Oh, I made a mistake, I was fascinated by 7 women, that's a mistake (laughs)”
He only made a joke about the unavoidable nature of humans after learning about it.
I'm begging for something without humans, and even now, I think Acch was good, and this one was good.
When I thought about marrying my husband ♡, I must have thought that this person was my ideal ♡ or something lovey-dovey.
Humans are like that.
If you're with a man other than your partner all the time, one or two feelings of cheating will probably come out. Therefore, “chastity” and “chastity” have long been regarded as beautiful in Japan.
In other words, there are cute girls who are hot and sexy for women. If you watch foreign dramas, it's like changing seats in a daze. It feels unscrupulous to me, though. (^<^)
Rather than swimming into an epic love story, I wonder if it's safer to look at it from a biological point of view and take reality rather than walk a high-risk path.
I hope I can speak with my true heart.
The choice is yours.

← all dialogues ← previous next →