I want to erase my memory

In Buddhism, one form of ascetic practice is to notice that the body is unclean.
Therefore, thinking that the body is unclean can be said to be one of the talents in Buddhism.
Unfortunately, it will be difficult to erase memories.
That's because those memories are part of your body anymore.
Please give up. “Illuminating” is not unfortunate. Here's a trick to getting brighter.

Don't worry, there are Zen practices where you can free yourself from your memories.
Let's free ourselves from memory by referring to the following.
First of all, memory is something that doesn't function mentally or physically when you forget it, even though it's called memory.
Any memory, while living in the current reality, if you don't even remember it, won't even be overshadowed, and it's nowhere. Let's first know that it won't even affect you.
Divide your memory into 3 parts.
① Memories that come out naturally (flashbacks)
② A state where that memory is automatically played back and continues (memory replay)
➂ I don't like that memory or think badly about it (judge my memory)
People struggle with memory when it's ②③.
In other words, at the time of ①, no suffering occurred. This is true. Please take a good look.
If you do zazen or meditate, you will be able to realize that this is not a theory, and that it really is.
When ① occurs in the future, it is the moment your life will be reborn.
At the time of ①, all you need to do is calm without hesitation, use your eyes and ears, and pour your consciousness into the 3 things and objects.
This is to pour your awareness into the facts in front of you and avoid leaving for the world of memory ②③ or thoughts = thinking mind.
For example, if it's a kitchen, we look at the facts: 1 refrigerator, 2 trash cans, 3 kitchen papers...
That alone makes ① disappear.
Here, you triumph over memory.
Seeing yourself as being unclean is actually a work done by your ②③.
If ① disappears, ②③ will also disappear.
You haven't got anything dirty.
Even if you wash your hands, they will be clean. Even my hair grows back and forth at any time. The skin, body tissue, and scientifically, old cells are dying every moment. You from 20 years ago have long since disappeared, and you are already the new you now.
It is a definite truth that everything in the body is being instantaneously reborn at the cellular level, even now.
To look at things through thought is to waste facts.
Memories don't need to be erased.
You can only be saved when you come out if you don't deal with ①.
After putting it into practice a few times, I want you to be convinced that you have freed yourself from your memory.
Now you've been reborn. Nowhere is it dirty anymore.
From now on, let's always choose a new present, a new way of life!

Do you know the god Kishimojin?
There is a story like this as an episode until Kishimojin became the god of Buddhism.

There were 500 or 1000 children in Kishimojin, and they abducted human children to eat in order to make those children drink milk.
When troubled people went to talk to the Buddha, the Buddha hid the youngest son that Kishimojin loved the most with his supernatural powers.
Kishimojin, who was in a hurry when her youngest son she loved was gone, searched everywhere, but she couldn't find it no matter what.
Kishimogami, who was in trouble, went to Buddha's place in a half-frenzy.
“I'm in trouble because my child is gone.”
The Buddha heard that
“If there are 1000 children and they are so sad just because only one of them is gone, how sad is a parent with only one child?”
I scolded Kishimogami.
After hearing that, Kishimogami repented of her past self and converted to Buddhism
“We will protect every child from now on.”
I swore, and now it is famous as the guardian deity of Buddhism.

Well, is Kishimojin still a demon today?

What you did for sure might be a bad thing.
What you've done once may be irretrievable.
It is certain that a crime must be acknowledged as a crime.

But are Kishimojin when she was eating children and Kishimojin, who converted and vowed to protect all children, the same person?

no.
Even if they look the same, if they change their mind, they are “completely different people.”

Even if there are people who have continued to protect their chastity since birth, if that person's heart is unclean, their bodies will also become unclean.

The opposite is also true; if your mind is clean, your body is also clean.

I don't know about your past, but there's nothing wrong with you, especially if you're on the side where you've been sexually assaulted.

If you treat someone while feeling uneasy, anxiety will spread to that person as well.

If you have someone you love, please focus your thoughts genuinely on them.

You are by no means unclean.

Maotsuki

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

First, in Buddhism, it is explained that both mind and body are “pure, unclean, pure and unclean, neither pure nor unclean.” Also, for example, in the Heart Sutra, it is described as “impure.”

However, this alone raises fears that Buddhism may be captured by indeterminism, as to what kind of sloppy teaching Buddhism is. Therefore, by studying Buddhism thoroughly, it is necessary to dispel those misunderstandings.

Anyway, if I were to go a little further and simply state my conclusion, these are convenient teachings to show that neither “pure” nor “impure” exist as an entity.

Of course, Makotsuki's body and mind do not exist as an entity. But that doesn't mean there aren't any. Actually, Magotsuki's body and mind are still exactly right now. However, this state of affairs is due to a “relationship.” In more detail, things and things are called “good fortune,” which are all made up of causal relationships (causes and conditions).

As long as it is due to a “relationship,” it depends on a good relationship or something that can lead to a good destination due to good causes.

Unfortunately, due to a bad cause called sexual violence, it has resulted in Makotsuki suffering from that trauma even now, but as an entity, it is not something that will not change forever and forever.

In other words, on the other hand, if good causes and relationships are properly adjusted, the results can be changed as many times as you want from now on.

When it comes to what is the best cause of that, of course, in terms of Buddhism, it is a matter of learning and practicing Buddhism, but anyway, there is always a cause for various suffering, so if we can determine that causal relationship and make firm and better changes in the future, it means that we can eliminate suffering as much as possible.

Please, I would be happy if you could learn and practice wisdom little by little from Buddhism to overcome that suffering.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho