I want to die, but I want to live.

　First of all, I pray for the souls of the four children who have been shown silence. Thanks to working in the morning, I will be holding a memorial service.
Why did this happen? I don't know because I'm not your body. I'm sorry. Right now, please hold a memorial service for the 4 children for 49 days. Once the memorial service for all children is over, please continue with your life as usual. Also, please spend your time looking around the world.
I don't think you'll understand, but if you don't understand, please hate me and live your life. “What do you understand.” Please live with hate.
I am currently attending this kind of course due to certain circumstances. If you don't mind, please join us. https://www.facebook.com/live.on.me/
Classroom of Life Nagoya Course
Organized by Rivon
Many people in the same position as you are participating. It was more like an exchange meeting than a lecture.

One of my friends has a couple who have had the same experience.
The boy who had three miscarriages and finally gave birth for the fourth time passed away in a day and a half.
My friend asked me to do the funeral, but I was so tired (especially my wife) that I really couldn't watch it.
In the case of that couple, it seems that one side's blood type was the cause...

What I was going to talk about at that time
“Just because a dead child is dead doesn't mean you can't love a dead child, there must be a way to love a dead child.”
That's it.

Of course, the pain for the couple involved is immeasurable.
I don't think we can 100% understand Marie's suffering.

But I think the babies who died were even more painful.
Also, I'm sure your parents and friends are also heartbroken by worrying about you guys.
Don't say I'm going to die.
More people will be hurt, and I'm sure it will be difficult for me to have a relationship with Marie in this way.

You can cry until you're done, and you can spit out any amount of painful feelings with this “hasunoha.”
That's why I want them to stand up someday.
Then, let's make a proper memorial service for the children who died.

Let's cheer up and live.
That's what you can do as a “parent.”

It's so painful that I want to die... I certainly felt the life that had taken hold, but it was the sadness of losing it. it's irresistible... You end your life in your own body.
It hurts my heart too when I think about how hurt you have been and how much you blamed yourself. Nothing is more difficult for a mother. Wow, I think I want to die... It's so painful, isn't it?

I just want to hold my baby...
I burst into tears.
Really, that's all I wish for.
For a little while, you're still a mom. It certainly is a life that did exist. It's a properly lived life. Mom said thank you. I'm putting my hands on that precious life.

Hello Marie.

Buddha said this world is suffering. So just accept it and live. He told me that.

It's hard, but even if you're Mizuko, you're the parent of 4 children. Please live a strong life for the children's memorial service. If you are sad, children in the spirit world will also be sad. Also, don't overdo it and wait for the next chance to be given for your deceased child. At my temple, which is the temple where children were born, I also pray for Marie to have children. The Buddha will definitely protect Marie along with the children in the spirit world. You will definitely be happy.

Please contact us anytime if it's too difficult for you. We share our sorrow together. Gassho

Good morning.

I would like to express my condolences to the little lives that have passed away.

I also saw a positive attitude from the “thank you” answers that have already been received and your profile, so I'm going to write a slightly positive story.

Do you know a person named Konomi Mashita? She had a big break as a child actor about 30 years ago.
The other day, I was appearing on a TV program about what kind of life this person has been living since then. The cuteness remained the same, they were married, had children, and looked happy, but it seems that this person was a child after experiencing a miscarriage and stillbirth.
The cause of Mashita's miscarriage stillbirth is an intractable disease called “antiphospholipid antibody syndrome,” and it seems that the cause was that blood was not supplied to the fetus due to a placental infarction caused by blood clots that occurred in the placental blood vessels (from Wikipedia), and it seems that it was also very difficult to give birth to the current child.

You've just lost your baby, and you may still not feel like “the next one soon,” but maybe some kind of illness is the cause. I think various tests have already been performed, but if there are no tests yet, I think it's a good idea to do an examination, determine the cause, deal with it, cure it well, and face pregnancy.

I sincerely hope that you will have a cute baby and that the day will come when you can hold that baby in your hands.

I read it. I'm sorry for your grief and broken heart.
Also, I will humble myself to the Nembutsu with all my heart so that the children will take the Buddha's guidance and attain Buddha peacefully under the Buddha.
Namu Amida Buddha
By all means, your children will be close to you and watch over you from now on.
When you complete your life, you will always meet your children and share the joy of being reunited.

I sincerely pray to the Buddha, God, and your ancestors that you will continue to live and be blessed with children.

I hope that you will be blessed with important encounters from now on, and that everyone will grow up healthy with a rich heart and live a happy life filled with happiness.

Sadness may never run out, but no night never dawns. The bright sunlight will surely shine in and bring you blessings.

I haven't been blessed with children yet, but I sincerely hope that you will definitely be blessed.

Please live a happy life amidst wonderful encounters.
I wholeheartedly support you.

I read it again. Thank you very much. I sincerely hope that your children will always be with you forever.
I want you and I to feel the importance and gratitude of being given various encounters from now on, probably because of God's arrangement.
Let's live a healthy life from now on even with children we haven't seen yet. Please contact us again.