I can't switch my mind...
I have a job I want to get. To do that, you must pass an exam. So I spent my school life doing a lot of hard work in order to pass the exam. The kids around me were hanging out in Tokyo and making boyfriends. There were times when I was envious, but I was studying so hard. However, the results were unsatisfactory.
Of course, I know that there were a lot of people who worked harder than me, and people who were smart. Also, there are still a few exams left, so I think I should work hard for them, but I feel that “it's useless no matter what I do anymore,” and I don't feel like studying.
Also, if you fail the exam after this, it will be a job similar to the kid you've been playing with until now. If that's the case, it makes me feel bad that I should have played more.
Even if you end up in a job you don't want, I think it can be fun in its own way, and I also know that studying becomes my own knowledge, so it won't be wasted. However, unless you get the job you want, you're unlikely to feel like you've been rewarded.
In my life up until now, I have cherished my efforts. Of course, it has paid off. But there are many things that didn't pay off. If you make an effort, you won't always be rewarded, then it makes me feel that it's not a waste to work hard, and that there's no point in living seriously. I'm sorry it's been so long. To sum it up, how do you switch your mind when your efforts aren't paying off? I look forward to working with you.
