Why shouldn't we have an affair

Hello. I don't understand “why we shouldn't have an affair.” I posted it in the hope that the monks would teach me.

I understand how much infidelity is a crime within the family of the parties involved. For me, how sad would it be if my husband or parents had an affair (even though they're actually unmarried). It's not hard to imagine the suffering that a spouse's betrayal causes to the other person, how much damage children will be hurt, and how much inconvenience it will cause to relatives. Certainly, infidelity would be a very serious crime for that family.
But what kind of effects and damage will it cause outside of the home? Why do you have to lose your job or position due to a very private matter called infidelity? The infidelity of famous people is reported and bashed, but what kind of damage do those people's infidelity cause to general society? Under what kind of justice do people who are bashing have the right to hit the parties involved?

Also, I don't understand how to say “don't touch people's things.” Whether it's a lover, marriage, or family or child, it's impossible to make someone someone else's property (the heart in particular), and it even seems that such a way of thinking is arrogant and inhumane.
Also, love and the value of love cannot be compared or determined by a third party. There are couples who curse each other even when they are married, and there are also couples who sincerely value each other, even if it's an affair. There doesn't seem to be any answer as to which one is correct.

If you don't mind, please let me know what the monks think. We look forward to working with you.

4 Zen Responses

If you were in the opposite position, I wonder if you could stay this calm.

that's right... There are many forms of love, so it's not something you can say for or against infidelity in one word...

However, just like what you say, there are other people's opinions and feelings. Unlike normal love affairs, infidelity involves many things. Very complicated, isn't it? It has nothing to do with the feelings of the person in question, and it messes up the life and heart of someone involved in it.
If you're in the opposite position, I wonder if you can stay calm...
If you can hold that determination and responsibility until the end, feel free to do so.

(↑ Why do you think so? I was asked to write my thoughts when talking about infidelity before. Please take a look there.)

hmm...

Generally, marriage is a promise established on the premise that “they will not be unfaithful to each other.” Therefore, if two people getting married have discussions, etc., and sign a contract that “it is neither a problem nor an issue even if they are unfaithful to each other,” then infidelity or infidelity will not be established between those two people. (I'm not sure how this is legally. Excuse me.)

In fact, I hear that a psychologist made such a promise between the couple and certainly made what is commonly called an “affair.” I think that's really amazing, but I've also heard that the close people around me are very upset. I was surprised that it was written in my biography.

Polygamy appeared in a science fiction film. It was very persuasive, and I was surprised that it was very persuasive, and it felt like this was probably the most efficient, safest, and most social method that humans did a long time ago.

Those are extreme examples though.

Both marriage and infidelity mean having a partner. If the person having an affair, the person being used, and the person being used are all satisfied, that may be fine. Also, if you're just delusional in your brain, you may not understand what's the difference. I'm married, but I think about the “common sense” imposition that you shouldn't have an affair, haha, I see...

Just in case, in Buddhism, there is something called “immortal commandment.” It means not to have unreal sex. However, what is important here is that it may not be well known, but in Buddhism, it is taken as exactly the same “work” as actually doing it, imagining it, and putting it into words. (Three occupations of body and mouth)
Therefore, delusional or verbalizing untrue sex is also an unforgivable precept. I'm in trouble.

Adultery is denied in Buddhism due to the immoral precepts. why? I think it's probably because there aren't many benefits to a life where you walk in search of the middle path, and there are many places that are rather harmful.

If you think of it as a contract between individuals, it doesn't matter, and I think it's something that should not be done based on things other than humans.

This is because infidelity causes confusion and suffering, interferes with Buddhist practice, and keeps people away from becoming a Buddha.
In India 2,500 years ago, the Buddha preached the Unholy Commandment, and I think the Buddha himself saw many people suffering from infidelity.
I think that's why I encouraged them to keep the commandments.

Of course, there may be infidelity where the parties involved don't suffer, but I think most of them suffer. Not only will you suffer, but you will also lose your life.
There is polygamy in the world, and there are polygamy as well. However, it is a relationship that all parties involved are satisfied with. That wouldn't be an affair.

Also, it seems that they feel resistant to the phrase “don't touch people's things,” but certainly no one is someone else's property. However, there are people in the world who feel resistant to those words, and in some cases, I think there are people who feel happy.

Also, if you really value each other due to an affair, you should get divorced quickly and remarry. Can you say that you really cherish it from the bottom of your heart without being able to do that?

There is probably a problem with the mass media's policy of focusing on attention and audience ratings when celebrities are slapped by the mass media. However, at the same time, there may be a problem with our national character who wants to watch it.

This is because there is a high probability that the marital rule of not having an affair will make you happy.

Hello, Pico.

Why shouldn't we have an affair? The reason is simple. This is because there is a high probability that couples will be happy if they live well without having an affair. It is a cultural rule as an experience that humans have built up through experience in the history of human society from the evolution of animals.

The primary purpose of life for living organisms, including humans, is to produce offspring. Also, the more advanced animals are, the more they do not keep producing, and the lives of their offspring are connected to the next era during the period of nurturing them. Humans know that while men and women raise children, those who don't have an affair will raise two children with care, so they made rules by making use of historical experience. If they have an affair and have children there, there is a possibility that children up until now will not be able to be raised. That's why you shouldn't have an affair.

However, there is only a high probability that an affair will not make you happy, and there are exceptions. For example, if you get married due to your parents' political marriage, you'll want to be with someone you like. If love penetrates through infidelity there, there are parts that can be understood in today's Japanese social culture. However, even if they are the same person, if they are wives in an Islamic country, it is a death sentence even if it is a force majeure called rape. Since relationships between men and women in human society are becoming complicated, there are cases where the old rules do not necessarily apply, and Piko's questions also come up there. However, the current monogamous marriage system in Japan is still the standard as the best matrimony system, so it is used as the best way to be happy if you keep it as much as possible.

I'm a monk, so I choose the best choice and give advice on which position would make me happiest, not in terms of law but in terms of relationships. Gassho

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