I can't change my mind.

It may not be a big deal for people,
It can also be serious for the person himself.
I also often drag out small things, so I understand that feeling.
I'm not saying that you can forget that right away after doing zazen meditation.
(Maybe it would be different if you could keep doing it until you forget it)
I use a tapping procedure called “TFT” (Thought Field Therapy).
However, I think there is a method that suits that person.
Of course, Buddhism also gets out of that kind of suffering,
It's full of methods.
Please search for ways that suit you as challenges in your future life.

Hayato

They're teenagers and young people, aren't they?
When I think back to myself at a similar age, I may have had more worries than I do now.
I feel like I got bogged down as I became an old man, but even if I say that to Hayato, who is worried right now, it won't help anything (^_^;)

I think it's also important to feel worried and ashamed. I don't think it's necessary to be strangely optimistic.
If you don't have “shame,” you won't develop ambition to “try not to fail next time.”

However, it's also a problem that the more painful it is, the more troubling it is.
I remember when I changed direction from “worrying” to “thinking.”
For me, “worrying” is an image of looking back and staying there, and “thinking” is an image of looking ahead and moving forward.

If you think about it and make up your mind, “Let's do this next time,” your worries may have disappeared as worries.
How about it?

A heart that is not caught up in anything.
An unattached heart

If you think about this as a basic idea, you'll have fewer worries about anything,
You're a teenager now, so it's natural that you have a lot of worries.
A teenager without worries is not youth.
Worrying about it will be food for future growth...

Also, there are times when you can't be optimistic, but it's okay if you don't force yourself to be optimistic.
because not everyone is optimistic...

Hello Hayato.

Even if it's a trivial matter, it makes me worried and worried when there are times when I feel like failure or embarrassment.
I don't want to worry too much. I want to be able to switch my optimistic feelings.
Your question is...

They are people with ambition, or rather, a spirit of commitment.
That's great. I want to say that to me as a teenager too...

I think there are two reasons why this is happening.
For one thing, because your surroundings don't allow you to fail.
One, because you don't allow yourself to fail.

Well, does Hayato have a place?
is it school? home? Is this a lesson? Is it the internet? Is it in the neighborhood?
One solution would be to create more places to live? Or, step on the number of places.

The school is small. If you do something a little bit, it will spread quickly, and then it will follow (example: do something weird and keep getting nicknames).
Neighborhoods are like that too (so it's difficult to get along with each other). That might be the case at home (it's the place where the kindness and continuity of acceptance is greatest).
It means that the kindness of acceptance = ease of starting over.

There are times when humans rejoice in other people's misfortunes. Also, they often don't allow a single failure.
How are things around you? However, you probably won't be able to run away (dropping out of school is... a bit). If that's the case, leave the school as a school. Let's find another place.
However, the internet is too free. This isn't a perfect place to be. It is a resting place and a temporary shelter.

By going through various locations in this way, you are yourself, starting with the number of places. You'll also be able to forgive yourself, and you'll also be able to forgive others around you.
Then, you might be able to change your mind.

Hayato-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

“When I make a small mistake or something embarrassing, I worry about it for days and days, and it's painful.” ... I haven't changed since I was young, and I am the same as Hayato.

It would be nice if I could play it without worrying about even small things, but that's not easy, and I'm often worried.

It may be a difficult word for Hayato, but there is a word for “shame” (zanki) in Buddhism. This is recommended as a good practice.

“Regret” is to reflect on or be ashamed of bad things in one's heart.
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/慚

“Ashamed” is an expression of fear of bad things or feeling remorse or shame about others.
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/愧

In this Wikipedia explanation, in the sutra called the Nirvana Sutra, it is even strictly stated that if there is no “shame,” it is the same as “animal life” (animals).

Therefore, the fact that Hayato is being “disgraced” is actually precious, and I don't think people worry too much about it.

Conversely, if you become too optimistic and lose your “shame” without reflecting or being ashamed, there is a risk that it will lead to a short-circuited way of life, a momentous way of life, an arrogant and haughty way of life, and a shameless and disrespectful way of life, so I think we must be careful enough.

I have mentioned difficult things above, but I also hope that I can continue to live a good way of life as much as possible while also greatly reflecting on various things and being ashamed of.

By all means, let's work hard together.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Hayato
Friends who call out to you when you're in trouble. You should be proud of your friends who listen to you. If you want to be optimistic, I can't give you an answer, but I think it's important to look at the faces of various friends and use them as a reference. That's because “learning” comes from “imitating.” Of course, textbooks are hidden in various places, but...
Incidentally, due to my pessimistic nature, I didn't have any friends, especially those I could trust when I was a student. I won't write more, but I'll leave it up to your imagination.

To Hayato-san

It's hard for me to worry so much; when I was a teenager, I was worried about people's eyes, and when I was a teenager, I thought “it wouldn't look good if I failed,” and when I felt embarrassed, I sometimes thought, “Maybe something is being said in the shadows.”

Do you think failure is something to be ashamed of, and can't you accept yourself for not being able to do it?

The solution is for you to become such a big person that you don't care about failures or problems

Let me tell you just one thing

If you don't want to fail, don't take on the challenge; that way, you won't fail for the rest of your life, but then you'll be who you are now for the rest of your life.

If you take on a challenge, there's a high chance that you'll fail; that's true; you usually fail until you get used to it, and that's not embarrassing at all.

Do you know why big people became big people? That's because that person has made more mistakes over and over again.

People who have never failed are people who haven't taken on challenges, and such people don't know the hardships of failure, so they laugh at people who fail, “can't you do that?”

However, people who know a lot about failures support those who take on challenges, “I understand how hard you are, do your best!!” I mean

If you don't make small mistakes over and over, you won't be able to take on big challenges, Hayato, you're definitely trying to grow into a bigger person than you are now.

Please make a lot of mistakes, I think optimism is slightly different from being positive, and I think optimism is “being convinced that even problems can always be solved”

I don't know the solution right now (I can't do it), but I'll definitely be able to do it well!! I mean

Putting the problem behind you and looking ahead and saying “Yo-ho, I'm happy” is not optimistic or positive, it's called “escapism.”

Please don't be such a small person

When you're a teenager, trivial things are something you feel ashamed of, but I think that too will be solved if you become a big person