Is it OK to be in a relationship with someone you don't like?

Nice to meet you, Non.

They say they don't like their best friend relationship being broken, so they're in a relationship.
But it's not easy to develop romantic feelings.

Humans are interesting.

Are best friends and lovers still different?
Also, is it just that the season hasn't come?

In the sutra called “Muryoju-kyo,” there is “one life, one life, one death, doku, doku, dokurai.”
“Born alone, died alone, left alone, came alone”
It means your life is yours.

Maybe it's just that the time to start a relationship hasn't come yet.
It seems that he said, “I'll make you like myself from now on,” so why don't you open up your feelings to Sunao and tell him that you want to slowly start a relationship?

Life is longer than I expected. It's shorter than I expected.
Please slowly nurture important relationships.

Non san

I was listening to the story, and it reminded me of a friend I had when I was a student.
Let's say A-kun and B-san.

A-kun loves Mr. B, and after a long friendship, we decided to go out with him.
Like Non san, Mr. B had never had a passionate relationship until now, and they also liked A-kun as a friend, but they probably couldn't find a reason to refuse, so it seems like they are OK with the relationship.

After that, it seemed that A-kun was making an effort to become mutually affectionate, but after all, Mr. B's feelings didn't change, and they ended up saying goodbye. It seems like they still have a friendship relationship, but I don't know if it's the same as before we started dating.

Mr. B is now married, but I wonder if it was matchmaking? I think so. This is because I can't imagine the atmosphere in which she would have a romantic marriage.

Non's question is “Can I go out with someone I don't like?” It's OK because not all love affairs begin with mutual love.
However, when I think about Mr. B, I think it may be difficult for Non to fall in love with him as a lover in the future.

He will look for “his own thoughts” and “thoughts on the same level” from Non. This is because otherwise, he himself is unbearably anxious.

But since you can't do that, isn't Nonsan going to get tired?
To prevent that from happening, wouldn't it be a good idea to tell him, “I have this kind of personality, so I hope for a casual relationship.”

July 24 update
I discussed it with him, but apparently we didn't agree.
I think you're feeling very sad that you're about to lose your old best friend. That said, it's not OK to force them to continue a relationship.

I painfully understand his feeling that he likes Nonsan. But he's probably not in a state where he can notice that he's causing trouble to his partner.

I often had unrequited love, and it reminds me of my old self when I was idle. I didn't have that much thought at the time either, and I may have made my partner feel bad or sad.

I'm trying to stay calm and keep my distance somehow.

Non sama

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi, who has been called Hasunoha's greatest romance master so far (laughs)

This is a humble answer to the question.

Liking someone is very important, but even when asked what the definition of “like” is, it is very difficult to clearly answer. If I were to define it as being humble, would it mean that the feeling of caring for the other person is much stronger than other people? (Of course, things that are distorted stalkers or things that are a nuisance to the partner and others are omitted.)

what about Non sama? you don't think of your boyfriend that way, do you?

I think it's difficult to continue a relationship or marriage without a feeling of caring for each other. If it becomes one-sided, I think it is certain that, on the contrary, people will want to reject it due to burden, pressure, and stress. Here, maybe it's good to be able to honestly tell your boyfriend how you feel now, break up, and then confirm your feelings again.

People's feelings are volatile and easy to change. In Buddhism, it is called “impermanent,” but it is precisely because it changes easily that everyone also seeks eternal love and eternal vows. Usually, at weddings, they pledge eternal and eternal love, and choose Taian and Yoshihi to hold the ceremony, but the reality that about 30% to 40% of people are divorced cannot be ignored. I know that if you get caught up in the fact that it's too eternal or permanent, on the contrary, it's easy to break, and I think we should first have a firm understanding. It also means that there is no such thing as something that lasts forever or forever.

So what should we think about in terms of Buddhism is that it is important to spend time carefully, carefully, caring for the other person, and considering each other's feelings, precisely because it changes easily.

Just as flowers need water, people need love. I think it is important to nurture this love with a caring heart for each other in order to get along well with each other.

I would be happy if it helped confirm Non's feelings.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

There seems to be a temperature difference between the two.
The other party “I'm going to make them like me from now on”
I say, “It's full and I'm exhausted.”
Will this be resolved over time,
Or will this difference widen more and more?
Some people say “I don't really like it, but we're dating anyway”
There are also people who can be satisfied even with relationships like that.
However, there are also people who are not satisfied with that.
Even if they say, “If I let this person escape...”
I don't even like it, but if I can just get married, would I be satisfied with that?
Does that alone make you happy?
Seems like you already have the answers.
I think it's best to be honest with your own feelings.

Nonsan, have you ever told your parents about this?
Can I talk to my parents?
Can you imagine what parents say when we talk about it?
Can you say what you think?

I don't know what the future holds for you,
I want them to look back on their lives just before they die and live a life without regrets.

Don't you already have an answer within yourself?

If so, I think we should follow the voice of that heart.

That's because it's about yourself.

Hello, Nonsan.

Is it OK to be in a relationship with someone I don't like? There seems to be something behind the question.

Dating, getting married, breaking up, living, dying, working, being able to have children, and raising people. There seems to be some reason for various events in life.
However, the reason was taken later.

Even so, my boyfriend seems to be trying hard to make them have a reason to go out with them (“I'll make them like me from now on,” “I want them to raise their priorities within me even more, I want them to be interested”).
Also, it seems that you yourself want a reason to go out with or break up with him.

Do you need a reason to start a relationship or break up?

“Like,” “I love you,” “marriage,” “cohabitation,” “dislike,” “good partner,” “partner,” “partner,” “friend,” and “keep”... words that fit well differ depending on the two people in a relationship. Why don't you start by putting things together?

You say that you are this kind of self, but when your partner likes you this much, I think Non is more attractive than you think.
It is commonly said that love is not something you fall in love with. They say it's exhausting to be told a lot of things, so after all, Rinon-san probably isn't in love with her partner, as you might think.

Not wanting to lose her best friend is an honest feeling for Non, right? Please be prepared that if you continue to be in the same situation as you are now, you will hurt your partner and eventually lose your best friend.

“Is it good or bad to date someone you don't like”
If you think that marriage comes after a relationship, “is it good or bad to marry someone you don't like?”

I don't think this is good or bad. In fact, love marriages are rare for our parents and grandparents, and they married without even knowing the other person's face very well. I myself have relationships with people and occupations that I honestly think I'm not good at. Not limited to romantic feelings, feelings and forms are different things. So I think it's possible to have a relationship or get married even if you're in love with your partner and don't get impatient. After that, it's not someone else's decision; it's up to you. If you don't decide for yourself, you'll regret it later.

　Actually, the previous monk was right, but in my experience, you should be prepared for one of them to get hurt when it comes to love. The recent trend is how can we be considerate of our partner? How to avoid hurting others, etc., and how good a person am I? It has become a world where it is being tested. This is an answer given by people who have made various mistakes in the past, and I think it's an idealistic theory.
Perhaps no matter how many words you choose, they will hurt them. “If there's something I don't like, I'll fix it.” What are people saying. When you say that you want to go back to being your best friend, the person you're dealing with is probably the man you're dealing with the most. Women don't understand how men feel. Use the advice of your mother or female friends for reference only. Male friends also have ulterior motives beyond that, so be careful. I'll put it in a harsh way, but let's break up a farewell story with the intention of never seeing each other.
This is just a way to deal with if you want to break up, and there is no need to break up with my impressions of reading the question. If a man you like shows up in the future, you'll do the opposite. Then, they use your feelings to do various unreasonable things. If you're in your 20s, it's time to think about marriage, childbirth, and children. What I can say at that time is that there is a higher probability that choosing someone you like will work better than someone you like. Don't you think men who continued to have the feeling of “I'll make them like me from now on” even after they got married and became old are wonderful? You should guide them well. Being “laid on the butt” is the key to a happy marriage, a happy family, and a shared relationship with the elderly.
It's up to you to decide whether to use it as a reference or not.

It's a complicated feeling, and I understand it very well.

I think there are a lot of likes. Then, while being in a relationship, we get to know each other. I also understand the reason why the other person is a friend and they know each other well, and any girl would be happy if they said they liked it (*^^*)

Me too... There were times when we were in a relationship even though we thought it was different from what I thought ~ there's no excitement even when we're together ~ I don't want to be together the whole time ~

I think that's how we get to know each other of the opposite sex.
Love isn't easy to answer just whether you like it or don't like it, and don't be afraid to get hurt. Be honest with yourself. I can't believe I'm worried about myself or my partner.
You are a wonderful woman (*^^*)

To Nonsama

Please be honest with your feelings once again.
Now's your chance.
I have noticed a lot of things and relationships, and they are being tested now.

No one knows what lies ahead.
However, if you want to be happy yourself, you will naturally walk the path of happiness.
Please believe in yourself.

I was able to reveal my true intentions and noticed a lot of things this time.
What to do from now on is important from now on. Gassho