Seems very different.

huh... That's how I told my husband... Well, I think it's natural for them to shut up.

What both men and women look for in sex with their wives and lovers is not only sexual arousal, but also security and warmth, isn't it? They confirm each other's presence by saying sweet words and stroking their skin.
Have you thrown your body away just for the purpose of satisfying your partner's sexual desires?
Did sex with my husband seem that mechanical? Don't you have other feelings inside of you? Even if you feel like having sex like that, you wouldn't say it so clearly, right? If this is the case, the person being told will pull the ball out.

Isn't it because there are other reasons why I went that far to my husband?

P.S....
You were hurt too, weren't you? I wonder how many people really know the joy of loving each other by seeking a body with sincere love...

Hello, Atsuko.

It's something Atsuko has been thinking about in her life about sexuality, isn't it? Men have an instinctive desire to discharge, so there are times when Atsuko thinks, but that doesn't mean that all men are looking for sex. If you learn only through AV (laughs), you might want to have sex because all men are pretty women, but there are also types of sex that can only be held because they love them.

That's why the common saying “men cheat” is a lie. There are also many men who don't cheat and are satisfied with just their wives. There are many men who have feelings they don't want to hold because they don't love them even if their partner is beautiful. There are many men who want to hold a wife.

Such men often become sexless even when they are in love. Mind and body love can be separated by different things, but sometimes they are two sides of the same coin. The ideal sex is to be mentally and physically satisfied, but since it is not something that can be done overnight, it is one of the things that couples build up by taking care of each other. But the reality is that it's not easy to do that (laughs).
So, even though your husband held him because he loved him, he wanted to have children with his wife, and even though they loved each other, I think you denied it and felt sad. You didn't want to deny your sexual desires; you denied your husband's love for his wife.

I'm doing my own analysis of why I have such thoughts, so I think each person is good. This is because it is normal for people to have likes and dislikes when it comes to sex, which is mentally affected. So I don't think I should deny my husband's love for sex in the same way. They are a married couple who pledged to physically touch each other, so if you feel uncomfortable with sex, it would actually have been nice if you discussed and decided how to have sex. As far as I can see from the sentences, these words are quarrelsome, so I think it's a matter of the marital relationship before sex.

Gassho

　There are situations where Japanese Buddhists are criticized just for expressing their opinions about sex.
However, I dare to answer my views on sex.
Rather than being a monk, this is just a view of sex that one person thinks about, so please understand.
Also, since there is a character limit, not many characters are added, so there may be misleading expressions.

Using a sociologist's definition, let me talk about 3 types of sex.
1. Just sex
2. Love Sex
3. Matsuri's sex
It can be divided into

The key word is “dense.” If I were to explain each one,

1. There is no intensity in “just sex.”
It's masturbation sex, sex without a partner (emotionally), and sex that just makes you feel good.
The image of the consultant may be close to this.

2. What is important in “love sex” is “intensity.” It's sex where we expose each other's inner world, sex that we can overcome even if we both know various things from the past. To that end, “love” is necessary in order to be considerate of each other. It's an image of getting deep approval and sharing joint physicality.

3. “Matsuri sex” is presented in response to “sex of love.” It's an opinion that “even without love, you can have intense sex.”
For example, even if the partner doesn't have love, having sex for the first time by someone who was a 40-year-old virgin is an “intense” experience for him.
Other than that, people with good looks like models who haven't had that kind of experience will have an “intense” experience of having sex with someone with a good appearance, even without love.

Even if you say “sex” unequivocally, what they look for and the experiences they can get from it are different.
People who want to feel refreshed (1), people who want to get deep approval with love (2), people who seek intense experiences (3), etc...

Why is “density” necessary? If you take any opportunity to ask a question about that, I will answer it,

What I want you to understand is

The fact that “a man's love and sexual activity are completely separated from his love for his wife or woman” means that it is unspeakable.

I'm sorry for the long post.

There are also men who don't think “sex is just about processing sexual desire.” At least that's the case for me. I'm sure Atsuko's partner is like that too.

In the movie “A Lovers' Premonition,” there was a scene where the main character, the woman, asserted “a woman's orgasm is acting” to the main character, was told “different” by the man, and “demonstrated” at a cafe in broad daylight. It was intense for me when I was still in my teens. “Is that so? If you have something to do, don't be fooled.”

The premise of that scene was a man's idea that “women should reach orgasm, partly due to men's efforts.” I think that film was made from the point where many men who watch the movie should sympathize with it. I also sympathize with you. Even for me, I don't just do it for my own pleasure. If that's the case, you can do it alone. (I would also add that the theme of the film was not there.)

I don't feel like writing or saying anything too starkly about various things related to sex, assuming my own experiences. It's simply embarrassing. So I won't write more than this either. However, there are all kinds of people, and they have all kinds of tastes, so I think there are probably people who only do it for themselves.

There is something called a research book or something about men's sexual consciousness, which can be said to be almost the only one in the past, present, east, and west, written from the standpoint of not shelving oneself. Let me introduce them first.

Morioka Masahiro “The Man Who Doesn't Feel”
(Chikuma Shinsho 2005 Chikuma Bunko 2013)
https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/4480430571

The author is a university professor, and it is written from a standpoint where he doesn't put himself on the shelf. I was shocked when I read it. It was also a clue to re-examine my own sense of “sex.”

The author thought about various things and asked the world about this book, and I think it's natural in a sense that people around me have a strange bias when looking at themselves after this book, but it was probably a bit bad that they didn't take that into account in the afterword of the paperback. I was surprised. I thought that would be the first place.

It's an unusual book, but I think it's a highly recommended book as one way to get a different point of view on men's sexual consciousness than now.