hasunoha

It's not worth being alive. It's the limit.

Nice to meet you.
I'm currently in my 2nd year as a working person.
It's been 1 year since I left college, and I thought I'd gotten used to my work life, but recently I suddenly don't understand the meaning of my life.

I haven't had that much dissatisfaction with the work itself so far, and I've been blessed with the people around me and have managed to get on with it.

However, as soon as the newcomer training was over, I was assigned to a local area and left my hometown and alone, so there were no people or places I could forgive at all, and even if I tried to find a new place to stay, it was hard to find it because it was in the countryside.

Also, since touring was my hobby when I was in college, I thought positively that it would be convenient to be able to run in various places every time I was transferred, even if I went to a rural area,
When I was close to graduation, I fell down due to lack of sleep, and my doctor stopped me from driving for a few years, and now I only have legs on buses or bicycles that don't have many buses.

Therefore, places where you can go even if you want to change your mood on a day off are limited to the vicinity of your home, and you can't return home unless you get one even during consecutive holidays due to the balance of travel time and transportation timetables.

However, since it's a small society in the countryside, the only people I meet are people involved in the workplace, and no matter when I go out on holidays, things at work flicker out, and even after I come here, it's a state where there is no moment to rest my mind.

Meanwhile, I finally began to think, “Is it worth living until living such a worthless life?” and I didn't feel so grateful that I would throw even my earned salary away as it is.

I also thought about changing jobs, but job change activities where I live now are difficult if I don't have legs that I can use myself due to the location,
However, I feel that it would be a sweet idea to quit my job as it is and go back to my hometown to do job change activities.

Should I change my environment even after quitting my job, how can I have fun and laugh like in the old days...
If you notice it, you'll be alone and think more and more, and when you get home from work, you'll almost start crying at home.
No matter what you do, the current situation is holding you back and it's hard to move.
I was living by deceiving myself that something good might happen if I tried a little harder, but that is also the limit.

I discussed this with my relatives and close people, but it didn't work out.
I'm sorry for the bad rampage, but please give me some advice on what to do about my work or personal life.

4 Zen Responses

don't make fun of the countryside lol

Somehow, it seems like they say they don't like the countryside, but aren't relationships actually a problem? I thought so, but what do you think.
If you get along well with your colleagues at work and the people involved in the workplace, I don't think it will be that stressful.

In the words of Zen
“If the Lord is everywhere, every position is true”
There is a word.
If you are sure of your own subjectivity, then where you stand now is exactly where you belong.”
It means.

First, let's take a close look at ourselves to see what's painful and what we're feeling stressed about.
Do you hate socializing, don't you like being alone, or maybe both?

It can't be helped if you can't enjoy your current environment.
I wonder if they appeal so and have their environment changed, or run away quickly.

Anyway, it's rural, so there's nothing. There's nothing, you're just not enjoying it.

Milestones in life

There is a switching cost for everything. The gap you are feeling right now is the “switching cost of a way of life.” The quick story is about let's notice that we are switching from a child's way of life where school and parents gave them a sense of life to a way of life for adults who search for their own path.

In the adult world, relationships are about searching for encounters on your own. Hobbies are also something you develop yourself. I also find value in my work.

When it comes to why I do hasunoha, it's like it's for half an encounter. We are both answering monks and readers at the same time. We have received various influences and stimuli.

I'm a gamer. why? Because the cost performance is good. Also, it is part of the job for monks to avoid leaving temples as much as possible, so it's convenient to have an indoor hobby. It's useful for playing games while reading Buddhist books in between roads (laughs)

Funerals are fun. There's usually no monk who can't be stopped. If you do, you should get punched. However, it is only when you have a long-standing relationship with a parishioner that the funeral becomes a duty that cannot be handed over to others. What I want you to do is worth it if it's not me.
This “you” part probably isn't necessarily someone else. There are various works, techniques, research subjects, etc. depending on the person. But even so, I tried it for at most 2 or 3 years and thought it was “fun!” It sets it apart from anything else. That's what you should look for in a game.

As you said, changing jobs is a sweet idea. Wouldn't it work if you took the time to throw something you can't do if you don't move on your own and start all over again? That's because I'm saying that. Just step back from a year's worth of progress and repeat the same thing.
Also, even if you talk to someone, there's no way it will be solved. That's because the life stage where you have someone give you something worth living for has already come to an end.

But, being able to feel that kind of pain is progress in itself. That's because it's proof that my life stage has progressed steadily. Among the new hires, it was still just an extension of the students. It means we've taken a step forward from there. That's fine. That pain is a sign of doing the right thing. Take it straight, review your way of life, and develop your own life at your own risk.

Thank you for your hard work!

“Did the egg come first or the chicken come first?”
My feelings have become tight, so I wonder if my daily life isn't going well.
Since everyday life isn't going well, are you feeling cramped?

I think this is already in the realm of shock therapy, but it's good if it becomes so painful that it completely breaks your mind and body and makes you cry. I think you're probably too used to holding back your feelings and you're having trouble. If you're disgusted by the current state of the tour, you'll have to switch from that “Yamanote Line of Thoughts” to another line. Then, since a contrast with who you have been up until now is created, it becomes easier to understand what made you do that, and you will be able to objectively view it.

Whether you quit your job, change your place of residence, or start a completely different lifestyle than you do now, it's okay to do whatever you do if it doesn't cause trouble to people. You're still young, and if there's “something” within you that drives you right now, you can surrender to it.

Please fill the present day of “bastards” in their 20s with “worries and sorrows, anxiety, hope, desire, and ulterior motives” and create the best and irreplaceable youth.

everyone is the same. Not much has changed. Because I used to be like that too (^_-) - ☆

Nothing means there is everything 

It's a famous song by Shinichi Mori with the lyrics “Summer in Saitama is a summer without anything!”
*Some lyrics have been arranged and posted to prevent Jaslak.
It's not that there isn't anything.
There's so much really great stuff out there, so why don't you notice it?
Why don't you notice? They are asking me the question.
Don't you feel like something is talking to you there?
If you can't feel it, try working on that theme.
Nothfulness in Buddhism is a state where your consciousness is raging in your brain, and the sensory sensors “Mugen-kun,” “Mujin-kun,” and “Muzen-kun” are activated due to my absence.
If you get anything, it becomes a brain.
Your brain waves are extreme shock pickups that can only pick up “meaningful things” like that, so you need to learn Buddhism and exchange them. (Don't say super shobo)

“Something meaningful” is also a type of dangerous idea.
I'm happy that it's meaningful, but then I know that bedridden Gee and Ba-san are dangerous ideas that even give rise to the value that anything goes because they are useless.
Once you understand this, you'll be able to see the answer.
Zazen and mindlessness are misunderstood in the world to be the exact opposite, but that doesn't mean you don't do anything.
Smartphones also work more comfortably when the app is deleted and empty.
If you don't have anything to do, you'll know that's it when a crow crows cry.
Nothing else happens at that time, so it's a tremendous sense of fulfillment.
It's ALL because there's nothing.
You're blurry at nothing and nothing, but the truth is different.
The inside of my head is filled with my own desires, so I can't catch that brilliance ✨.
Why is it possible to take freshly fried tempura without taking the tray and plate when standing in line at the Marugame Seimen counter?
You're unaware of the existence of a saucer to catch it.
Please enjoy the crispy tempura before it becomes dull.
There is a freshly picked, fresh world out there.