I've also read the previous questions, but what I felt was “maybe a little too much facing myself.”
No, that's pretty great, but there are two factors for things: internal factors and external factors. For example, light information is flying in from the outside, and your own eyes catch it, process it with your brain, and “see with your eyes,” but light information is an external factor, and the eye and brain are internal factors.
When this internal and external balance is lost in the mind, the stance of “seeing correctly” is lost, and it is one of the causes of suffering.
At that time, apparently, in the case of Hokudosei, there are many statements about internal factors that are inappropriate “to me,” and I feel that the balance is out of balance.
The Buddha made his disciple who couldn't stop feeling for the opposite sex like this. “OK, humans peel one by one like the skin of a Chinese cabbage, and what is in the middle at the end is the character for luck in the large intestine. That is the root of human beings. If you also stick with a woman you love and can't stop, it's a sign of luck. If you think so, your feelings for women will also change, right?”
Why don't you think about the external factors of what you want with this kind of feeling? It's a training where you think “that's not that good” rather than “it's inappropriate for me.”
Of course, that idea went too far, and I was envious and said, “That person has such stupid things. If you end up feeling like “poop,” it causes suffering, but as a matter of degree, you can think “that's not such a good thing.”
Also, in Buddhism, the primary desire to “want ○○” is not regarded as affliction (cause of suffering). This is really widely misunderstood, but it's wrong. The secondary desire to “want more” is distressing. In the official Buddhist language, it is called “thirst love.”
That's why it's also important to forgive yourself for thinking “I want it.” Primary desire is the result of human evolution, so even if you try to stop it, it won't stop. On the other hand, not being able to stop makes it harder.
If you acknowledge that but leave it alone as you want without chasing it, it will disappear someday. It's not easy to say, though. It's not easy, but if you keep having that kind of mindset, you'll get a jittery effect like muscle training.