Is it now or in the future

Renge

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I know that any parent would want their children to grow up well and grow up healthy.

In fact, the reality of raising children is difficult for each individual. Although I think I want to respect children's intentions as much as possible, as parents, I want to take care of children to some extent, and there are times when I want to give them a head start, even if not until I pull the rails.

To be honest, I can't really say bossy, who is in his first year of raising children, but...

As relationships between kindergartens, nurseries, and elementary schools with others gradually increase, children begin to discern things, and as they gradually adapt to “society,” I think that as children gradually adapt to “society,” various perceptions and responsibilities will naturally develop in their own way.

Once awareness and responsibility have reached a certain level, the person himself will begin to think about the future on his own and begin to insist on what he wants to do and what he wants to do. At that time, as a parent, I kindly give advice based on my life experiences and ways of thinking up until then, and I think it will be necessary to help when I can help as a parent, clearly refuse what I can do, not overly pamper them, sometimes present complaints so that they can be understood, and encourage reconsideration.

As for the future, rather than worrying about things that have yet to come, think about the happiness of children “now,” and while doing what they can as parents, of course, minimal discipline is natural so that they can live morally and ethically in society, don't impose too much on parents' expectations and hopes, and don't put too much stress on them and have a distorted personality, while being attentive and enjoying the fulfillment of “now.” I know that by the time you stand on your own, a good future will naturally come.

I pray for your child's healthy growth.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Renge
Nice to meet you. I'll give you my answer.

Not having a hard time in the future probably means becoming an “independent adult.”
For example, let's say you're in charge of training new hires at a company.
So what kind of new people would you like to join the company next time?

What is your educational background?
I'm sure parts such as personality and manners will rise above that.
Thinking about that, learning by playing and experiencing a lot, and enjoying the present
Maybe it's important.
Gassho

Renge-sama

Looking at the question, does Mr. Renge say will he go on to college or get a job in the future?

The future that monks think about is not a high level of education or high income, but whether they think they can pass away in the world of Buddhism with peace of mind when they die.

No matter where you go to college, this is all I want to tell you as a parent.
Is there a policy you don't want to lose no matter what kind of life you end up living?

How do you tell your kids about that?
Raising children so they don't struggle is also necessary, but it is also an important role for parents to tell them the secret to overcoming hardships.

Going on to college is not a goal, but an intermediate point.

It doesn't matter if it's your classmate or mom's friend.
Or let's try arranging the “successful people” in the world in order.
Are all of those people so-called “happy”?
In spite of hard work and study, I don't think everyone will necessarily be “happy” for the rest of their lives, even if they succeed.

Social success does not equal happiness.
Having money doesn't mean being happy.

So what is happiness?
A feeling of richness of heart, serenity, generosity, relaxation, and the appearance of a smile.

No matter what kind of misfortune you are hit by, your heart will not be stained with misfortune, and it is the power to overcome it and return to a happy heart.
Asking for it is searching for oneself, and it is the beginning of Buddhism.

My thoughts are as follows.
They say that the greatest asset for living in this world is Chie.

For example, flexibility to overcome any difficulties, ability to adapt to the environment, communication skills, tolerance, humor, cheerfulness, positive thinking, ease of giving up, strength... this is this kind of skill.

However, we do not recommend wearing these one by one.
That's because if you master just one thing, you've got them all.

What is just one thing?
It's all about looking at yourself and getting to know yourself.
Does your current school teach you to thoroughly study yourself?
Not many people, even Osho-san, know that Buddhism actually means disrespecting oneself.
To practice Buddhism is to meditate one's self, and there is no such thing as Buddhism somewhere.

If you are nearby, please wake me up for a zazen session.
I'm not here to do zazen meditation.
They look after themselves, look at themselves, and thoroughly seek what their truth is until they reach a point of agreement. If you do that, you'll always have a lifetime of peace of mind. Full of confidence.

Our zazen sessions also have chairs, and parents and children learn the same thing.
I think it would be a good experience for both parents and children to learn about themselves. (^-^)

To Renge
It is the parents' duty to ensure that their children do not have a hard time in the future. (Excuse me. I've made up my mind.)
① “Let my kids study hard while they are young... Furthermore, when I was a kid, I let them play outside to their heart's content, got into fights and made up, and the kids I didn't like were acknowledged... Friendliness should be cherished. That's why my child is now... My parents are... bad now.” A critic called.
② For those seeking dreams. “Happiness is what makes dreams come true.”
Achieving these two will be difficult. It's a thorny path.
Do we always have to be together and do something to cherish our friends? The more you take care of your friends, the more you neglect yourself, don't you? This is painful.
I don't think anyone has really made their dreams come true, even after looking at a long history. Because dreams are greed. Greed knows no bounds. “I want to be a pilot.” A person called. What kind of pilot? captain? What do you do when you get to the captain? can you stay for the rest of your life? If you're forced to retire, what do you do? I think the number of other things that can be achieved will increase. Most people think about climbing to the top of a mountain, but I don't think they even think about going down.
Is your child really convinced by this? I don't think I can listen to children's opinions. For children who can't speak out, please watch your child's feelings as a parent. Face, physical condition, behavior, etc. Remember your childhood, and since you're a mother (maternal instinct), you'll understand right away. Please have compassion (confidence).
It's premature for your child to prepare for the future without thinking about it. Kindergartens, preschools, elementary school students, etc. will always be given an opportunity to think about the future. Teachers, friends, classmates, seniors, books, TV, textbooks, literature books... it's impossible to list them. Encounters are endless as long as we live.
When that trend shows up in your child (when future goals are found), you will notice the change as you have observed it until now. If you talk to your parents who send them to cram schools or lessons at that time, you may be able to hear good advice.
As a result, parents struggle when it comes to raising children. Doesn't that mean I don't want to cause trouble for my kids?
Here's the forbidden phrase “I've been working hard for you. Don't even know how people feel.” Don't say it.