About my relationship with my real mother

My real mother (70 years old, living in Kansai) is a full-time housewife, and she raised me (39) with great care. My dream was to work internationally, so they made me study abroad and go on to graduate school. Thanks to that, I was able to get a job at an international organization, and now I have moved to Tokyo. Up to this point, it was my mother's dream, so my mother was happy and got along well as a proud daughter.

I got married last year. My husband is a national civil servant working for the central government office. However, there was fierce opposition from my mother when they got married.
The reason is that his annual income (5-6 million) is low. Also, my parents' house is a part-time farm in the countryside. Incidentally, it seems that the image of the marriage partner my mother wanted was a more high-spec person whose parents' house is wealthy.

Also, when the two families met, my husband's father said something his mother didn't like. My mother also managed to hold back the scene, but after that, my mother got angry like a blazing fire.

Even so, our intentions didn't change, so in the end, we were allowed to get married. At first, I'm glad my mom was calm, but recently it's getting rough again.

It's hard and painful every day to see me getting married and being bullied, so I'm committing suicide, directly shouting taunts to my husband that he wasn't supposed to marry you, and that it wasn't worth it.
I can't forgive that father no matter what, and I'm furious that he can't forgive me when I got married in such a place.

Also, since they didn't make me study abroad or go on to graduate school in order to get married in a place like this, they said they would return the 5 million yen cost and break up the relationship.

Until now, I overcame my parents' objections and got married, so I've accepted that everything is my own responsibility, but if I get caught up so badly, my husband and I will die. My husband takes care of me and I'm very happy, but no matter how much I say that, my mother doesn't understand.

My parents live with my older sister and 2 grandchildren in Kansai, and worst of all, even if they break up, my older sister and her husband stay with me. If that happens, I plan to give up the inheritance and completely hand it over to my sister and her husband.
I don't think it would be unfaithful to a parent to break up with one's parents.
I was worried and asked what to do. Thank you for your support.

4 Zen Responses

Being happy is the best act of filial piety.
This is a basic point you can't miss.
Would that be OK?
That's one.

Second, “they said they would return the cost of 5 million yen and break the relationship.”
... if your mother says that, why is it what your mother wants,
Why don't we give it to you? Or they broke up and experienced misfortune,
Will my parents be unfaithful?

Third, the heritage issue.
It depends on how you feel, but by law, there is something called a residual portion.

Children leave the nest.
Please be happy.

Talk only about good things in front of your mother

The couple's relationship is good, isn't it?
If so, there won't be any problems. Your mother probably thinks of you as her property. But blaming your mother won't solve anything.

This is where you become an adult,

“I'm glad I got married. full of happiness. I owe it to my mom. Thanks.”

Please say that for them. Parents are satisfied no matter what they say when they see their child's happy face.
That's probably why they allowed me to get married too.

I'm sure your mom will feel better too (^-^)

Is money really the reason?

Your mother seems to be against marriage because of money, but are there any other reasons why she doesn't want you to get married?
Did what your father-in-law said hurt your mother's pride so much?
Even though the salary is low compared to top companies, I even feel the impression that my mother is against it, even though the salary is low, even though the couple is happy to have a stable occupation.
Did your mom really dream of getting rich quick? Have they become unusually obsessed with your excellent self?
Or did she have any problems in your mother's own life because she let go of you?
Everyone has afflictions such as greed, anger, and pride, and they cause stress.
It would be nice if I could relieve your mother's stress.

The problem is you

it's not my mom's fault, is it?
It's bad because you're not proud of your husband.
Don't say you're feeling miserable.
Just kidding, that's a form of petty discrimination. (^<^)
I wonder if money is great.
My husband is much older than we are, too.
Don't write less. Even though my husband works in his own way, I feel sorry for my husband. I think I'm going to be miserable. You think you're making yourself unhappy.
You are the only one who is completely steeped in that mother's thoughts, and is possessed by the old family system and feudal consciousness. The problem isn't my mother. yourself.
I was told by my mom, and they probably look down on my husband in some way.
That's where the lackluster is occurring.
I wonder if the thoughts of people called Peepee in Money are Aldanida, in a word, iwaretairetenaida, making anyone really happy, including Nata.
What would you do if you weren't proud of your husband?
There's a problem with you being nervous and not being able to say I'm happy.
The ability to communicate with my mother, and the ability to say and believe that I am happy.
Don't fight about it; tell them and get them to understand it.
Even if I don't have money or a social position, I'm happy, so it's fine.
My mother's life and mine are different things. I think you don't have the power to communicate. I think the fact that they don't tell it is sad even from Danna's point of view. ('▽｀*)

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