How to deal with my mother from now on

Unhappy parents
http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/4062814811/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

You've been doing your best in the midst of so much hard work.
I studied while receiving a scholarship, and after getting a job, I decided to do remittance. It's really admirable~◎
That's great ~ it makes me cry.
Isn't there a lot you've put up with? For her parents, she's probably a proud daughter.

I don't know the extent of my mother's dependency and remarks...

It is difficult for a female parent to raise a child alone. I think your mother also had difficulties other than your hardships. Well, the divorce was due to parents' selfishness, and from the child's point of view, there may have been times when they thought other families were richer. For that reason, the mother must have endured all kinds of suffering.

I hope twice as much for you to be happy, and your arguments may be escalating one by one. Also, parents are getting older, need financial help, and are probably spoiled.
I also understand the environment my mother was in. I want them to cherish your future happiness when you are old.
Let's talk slowly with your mom so we don't get into a fight.
Maybe you've tried too hard until now to help your mother. It's getting too tough, and you can't get too full.
Let's convey my honest feelings right now and confide that if my dependency is strong, it's tough for me too.
I wonder if they will refrain from burdening you too much (*^^*)

Vege-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Now, with regard to parent-child relationships, I know that each of the answers below may also be helpful.

http://hasunoha.jp/questions?tag=両親に優しく

My humble life was often treated as a “parent, thank you for your parents.”

About the ten items of parental kindness, Shigetsune, and parents' great blessings
http://hasunoha.jp/questions/142

Looking at this content for a moment, what would Vege think of her mother?

There are many things in this world where parents and children have a relationship, and there are many things in a parent-child relationship that they are thankful for, annoying, smoky, and angry. It is a relationship due to a strange relationship that is rare in the presence of many people, but according to examples of children with prenatal memory or pre-pregnancy memory, it seems that “children are born by choosing parents.” However, there are also severe objections and criticisms about this.

According to Dr. Ikegawa Akira, a leading expert on prenatal memory, it seems that the following three are typical reasons why children choose parents.

1. Because my parents seem to be very kind, and it seems like I'll be able to live a fun and happy life.
2. Because my parents seem very lonely, and it seems like I can help my parents by being born myself.
3. Because my parents seem very strict and seem to give me adversity, and it seems to be useful for my own training and growth.

I wonder what Vege-sama would think of this too...

In Buddhism, since we think about cause and effect, I think that the current state is the result of various “relationships” being intricately intertwined while the power of each person's karma also acts in various ways. Being in such a position is due to some cause and effect, and a number of actions in this world will always have an impact on the state after death.

Therefore, in Buddhism, it is basic to keep your mind as clean as possible, don't do anything bad, and work hard to do good deeds.

Among them, striving for recompense is also an important good act. Of course, depending on circumstances such as excessive burdening, dependency, etc., it doesn't mean that everything changes to bad behavior, or conversely, becomes a nuisance. As Mr. Nakata said, I think it would be good to be able to try to resolve this with communication of intentions.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Mr. Vege-sama
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, thank you for your support.

I read Vege's appearance from her school days to working adults, and I bowed my head wondering what a sweet environment she was in m (_ _) m
Also, since her mother was able to raise Vege-san by being a single woman, she may be similar in being a hard worker.

What I thought while reading it is that the mother may have failed to separate her children so far.
Seen from her mother's point of view, she is an only daughter who took great care to raise, and a proud daughter who makes remittances after graduation. Even though I wanted to stay under my influence forever, I became more and more splendid, and I even got married.
While I also had a happy feeling, I felt like I was getting farther away from myself, and I felt that dependency and interference would intensify due to loneliness and anxiety.

In the future, if a child is born, the mother may have strong interference in the “child-rearing experience” part, which is an advantage. If Vege comes when she is tired from work and raising children, there is also a possibility that there will be big waves and winds.

There is also a saying “when it rains, the ground solidifies,” but I think it would be better to have light rain (talk to each other) before it becomes heavy rain (big fight).
How about it?

It's a problem that happens in every household, but it's also a problem that everyone is too embarrassed to talk about.
I'm sure this question is going to blow the mind of many people. Thank you very much.
Children are working hard as children to become independent (intended).
If parents also make a homage to “OK, OK” as an evaluation of that, not yet,
If they keep saying “that's no good, this is no good,” children feel that they are being underrated and almost explode.
There are only 2 solutions to this problem. Even so, one for each person.
① Parents learn techniques (meekness) to stop negative expressions and communicate positively to children.
② It is important for children to acquire nice-through techniques (flexibility) to dodge high, high, and funny leopards without being hesitated by any negative expressions of their parents.
You only need to learn one of both, so try incorporating them as part of your lifestyle.
Children feel oppressive about mothers who treat them forever as children, even though they are sloppy adults (who intend) themselves. As a result, they seek spiritual liberation and independence from parents.
This means that the period of separation between parents and children has arrived.
The movie “Black Swan” depicts a feud between a mother and her daughter.
There isn't much emphasis, but one of the reasons why the main character goes crazy like that is that the film asks for freedom from her mother's oppression reaches a dead end, but in order to have a positive end, they are freed from their opponents and “don't interfere too much with each other.”
It is gentleness that parents recognize their children's independence and respect their freedom without privatizing, owning, or ignoring their children.
For parents who don't do it, the best way is to have a sense of flexibility (flexibility) on your own.
“Either way, I'm the one who is suffering because of the problem”
“Then if I can pick up the wind, there's no problem”
“How do I dodge the wind? I hit it because I have the thing (me) that hits me”

To Vege-sama

It is said that forgiveness to parents is the most difficult form of forgiveness.

But there must have been a lot of things that happened to the mother when raising Vege-sama.
Aren't you sure your mother is lonely right now?

After all, I think talking is important.
Please objectively accept your mother's feelings as well.
Don't be impatient.
Gassho