I'm afraid of dying, it's painful not being able to talk to people close to me

　At the time of his death, Ikkyu-san also said, “I won't die.” It was being talked about. No one is powerless against death. It's scary. Nothing can be overcome. Furthermore, I can't give a convincing answer to those of you who have gained that much knowledge. But I also think about it once in a while, so it's not like I don't understand how you feel. My hands tremble when I think about death. But I reached my 40s without getting an answer. The world after death cannot be trusted unless there is objective evidence that those who have gone have returned.
Death is inevitable. Suffering is also inevitable. Living and being happy requires a certain amount of will and effort. I feel like that comes with you. Since there is death, we can cherish life. To put it worse, they avoid death because they have an obsession with life.
Please continue to face that question even more. Please live even if you hold on to life. Then, let's find answers together about why we're afraid of death. I'm sorry. There are no answers, but please also post your own opinions.

There is definitely an afterlife.
It seems that you have read various documents
Do you know the episode of Hakuin (Hakuin)?
A long time ago, there was a famous monk called Hakuin Zenji who is said to be the founder of the Rinzai sect of Buddhism.
When Hakuin was also a child, he was afraid of dying, and he didn't want to go to hell and be burned. It seems that she cried just imagining the fire in the bath kettle while taking a bath.

Hakuin-san eventually became a great monk, but when he was around 60, a samurai asked about it.
“Monk. What happens when people die? Where is Hell and Paradise?”
But Hakuin-san
“I want to know where Hell and Paradise is; samurai are samurai warriors, but they're probably timid samurai.” You dare to make a provocation, don't you?
It's not a samurai who lives being insulted. I got angry, pulled out my sword, and tried to slash Mr. Hakuin to death.
“That's it! there it is. That heart is hell!”
The samurai quickly came back to himself and said, “Thank you. I almost destroyed myself.”
Then there's Hakuin-san again.
“That is, that is paradise...”
It seems that he was admonished.

It's kind of a famous episode, so many of you may know it.
If I were to follow this
“There is definitely something after death. That is clearly in Mr. Gotong's mind.”
I think I'll answer that.

But is that OK?
Mr. Gotong lives his life with a heart of gratitude. It depicts a life where people express gratitude to those around them. It conveys that they are literally filled with feelings of great love for important people.
But why can't I tell important people what I want to know the most? Don't you want people to know how you feel?
Even if the people around you do great things, aren't you able to talk about your own feelings and questions?
Your parents, your ancestors, and you will die one day.
“I don't want fear of death to hinder my life from here on out.”
Aren't you treating yourself as a hindrance?

Please ask your own big questions and thoughts
People and people who think a lot about you
I want you to pass it on.
It may be foolish to suddenly hear “what happens when you die”
I'm sure to face it someday.
Since “death” exists, when the lives of Mr. Gotong and those around him shine with dignity,
I believe so.
I want that to happen.

I read your question.
When I was a kid, I thought exactly the same thing as you and couldn't sleep because of fear.
When I asked my father because I wanted to feel at ease somehow,
“If you die, you'll be nothing!” I was told that, and my fear deepened more and more.
I was fine with “going to heaven” or “becoming a star,” but for the time being, losing consciousness of myself was more frightening than anything else. I think I'm more afraid of losing consciousness than the fact that you too will die.

Actually, the Buddha's disciples also had disciples who thought about the world after death. The disciple asked the Buddha about the existence of a world after death, but the Buddha did not answer. (I think the details of this story will come up if you search the internet for “The Parable of the Poison Arrow.”)
When it comes to why they don't answer, it's sometimes a metaphysical story, but in the first place, Buddhism explains that there is no firm “self,” and that people are just a collection of various elements. (Of course, I don't recognize souls.)
This is called “selflessness.”
I think I have a firm existence called myself, so I worry about the world after death and consciousness after death.
Everyone can probably understand this selflessness with logic, but once you understand it, the fear of death won't go away.
This is because cognition cannot be changed as a result of thought.
For example, the essence of a 10,000 yen bill is simply a piece of paper. Even if I know this is the result of my thoughts, if a 10,000 yen bill falls right in front of me, I don't think it's a piece of paper.
To think of this as a piece of paper, we have to change the perception itself.
Meditation is performed to change this perception.
It is said that if you can see selflessness through meditation, the fear of death will disappear.
If you live in the Kansai area, I think there are instructors around Osaka who can give lectures on various meditations, so why not look for them.
However, there are different types of meditations, and the places you are aiming for are different, so if you are going to do it, please choose your mentor carefully.

Mr. Gotong

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

As for things after death, it wasn't until recently that I was finally able to take advantage of things after death.

The biggest trigger for this was reading the “Tibetan Book of Life and Death” by Sogyal Rinpoche, translated by Masahiro Osako (Kodansha +α Bunko) several times, and reading the “Gelk School Edition: The Tibetan Book of the Dead” (translated by Master Yangchen Garo, Mr. Koichi Hiraoka) over and over again, and made an effort to read it.

In particular, Master Yangchen Garo's “Light that clearly clarifies the basic three-body structure” in the latter explains in detail the process from death to the next life, and furthermore, it explains how to do that process for ascetic practices to lead to enlightenment.

If you don't mind, I would like to recommend that you make an effort to read both of them and learn and practice Buddhism in parallel.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho