What should I do with graves in the future

I read it.
Well, I think holding a permanent memorial service is one option.
Why don't you talk to Bodaiji about your current feelings and situation?
And why don't you take the time to talk and listen carefully to what kind of support you can receive as a family temple?
Also, don't be in a hurry, carefully consider it first, and then calm down and discuss it with everyone in the family.
There are probably various options, so don't be in a hurry, take your time, check the circumstances around you, and make a decision by thinking about the future in total.

There are also changes in the surrounding situation and environment. I don't think I'm in a hurry.

　Thank you for your question. Recently, I've been hearing a lot about the problem of tomb blur, but why don't you talk to the family temple (prayer temple) once? The tomb was finished at my temple a month ago, so work
I did, but from now on I will keep my bones at my temple. Our sect (Jodo Shinshu Honganji school) performs ossuary, but if it is a sodan ossuary, the sect will perform ossuary in the future. I think other denominations may take different forms. Gassho

The surname has nothing to do with the succession of graves (you may be concerned if the last name is engraved with the family name ○○ family on the tombstone as a custom in the old family system that is gone now, but it doesn't matter).
Legally, heirs of rituals take over and have rights such as what to do with graves.
If the person using the grave the mother is currently in is an only child, you can decide since they look like you.
If you're in a situation where you don't have your next heir, it may certainly be necessary to think about changing to a style where you don't have trouble even if you don't have a next heir among the various forms such as permanent memorial tombs and tree burials that have recently begun to become popular.
However, whether the grandmother will decide at this point before her death, or whether the grandmother will decide only the direction at this point in time, whether to do this after her death, the feelings of those around you will be different, starting with your grandmother.
For me, at the moment, only the direction has been decided, and I think it's good that the decision will be made again when necessary.

I read it.

Graves were often scattered in the early Middle Ages, and they began to be erected in the Edo period,
Everyone began to build family tombs from the Meiji period, when everyone started using their last name.

The heir to graves is also different between the old civil code and the new civil code after the war, and under the old civil code, the eldest son is supposed to inherit
There is patrilineal inheritance, but according to the new civil code after the war, rituals heirs will inherit, and graves have increased even more in the baby boomer generation, but due to the recent declining birthrate, there are no ritual heirs
It means that graves are in trouble.

There is a law on graves relating to cemetery burial, etc., and it is said that graves that have lost understanding of the heir to the ritual can be reburied by following procedures such as public notices, etc., so before you know them
I think it's wise to hide graves.

Now, when it comes to what to do after shattering graves, I think a permanent memorial tomb would be good for me too. just
People in the old days had a strong image of unrelated graves, so now there is a splendid thing called permanent memorial tombs,
The chief priest of the family temple at my parents' house told me that memorial services can be held forever as long as the temple lasts
Wouldn't it be nice if you did it? By the way, it's after I left the grave, but at my parents' house
Do they hold permanent memorial tombs or tree graves at family temples? I'm indebted to the family temple at my parents' house
I think that's good.