I can't start a new life because of my wife.

My affair broke up 2 months ago, just with my affair partner
I also wanted to remarry, so I initiated divorce mediation,
My wife does not agree to the divorce.

It's an embarrassing story, but the fact that I've been inflating company expenses since last year
My wife warned me to stop barking over and over again.
However, they tried not to get caught, and even though it wasn't a big amount of money
It's hard being with my wife, and it's harder to be with my wife, and it's better to be with my affair partner
It's getting more comfortable. My wife, whom I have a causal relationship with, has become infatuated.

I'm filled with the feeling that I want to break up with my wife soon and start a new life with my new partner.
The presence of a wife who prevents remarriage is a hindrance, and feelings of resentment increase day by day.
I originally liked them and got married, so I don't want to harbor any grudges,
My wife, who refuses to divorce, makes me do that.
Feeling resentful about me or my affair partner's wife
I think something bad will happen to my wife.
I'm in pain too.
How should I feel about getting through this problem?

4 Zen Responses

What about your wife?

I can't start a new life because of my wife.
But who created the cause?
I can only think that you are prioritizing only your own convenience. You're not thinking about your wife at all, are you? With this, it's impossible to try to solve it.
Naturally, in such a situation, it would be all bad things, such as your wife getting sick and holding a grudge against you.
First, isn't it after carefully reflecting on infidelity and inflated expenses?
Even with hasunoha, I don't think we can go against the law of good cause and good effect: bad cause and bad effect, which is often talked about.

I read it.
I read that you don't think your life will turn out the way you want it to.
Yes, life is something that doesn't easily turn out the way you want it to.
And life is when you don't know if it's really the right thing to do what you want.

Please review once again what you have done until now, your thoughts, and relationships with people one by one.
Please don't be in a hurry, calm your mind, and take a close look at the circumstances up until now and your connections with people.

Also, please think calmly and make your own judgment again. On top of that, please face each person firmly and sincerely and consult with them.

It's your own work, so you have responsibilities. Also, the future after that will change depending on your judgment.

If you can, please take good care of the people around you.

In Buddhism, it is said that the cause of suffering is thirst and obsession. Thirst is desire or greed.
When you let go of your own cravings and obsessions, your own suffering goes away.
Thirst love is something that makes you feel happy.
Seeking to feel joy also causes suffering.
That said, we are stupid ordinary people, so it's difficult to put it into practice even if we understand it in theory.
Please correct your own behavior so you don't have an affair, don't tell lies, don't take away your wife's happiness, and don't take away the happiness of your affair partner.
I'm a monk, so it's difficult to put it into practice, but I think it's my role to keep saying this.

“Shinobi”

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I'm worried that the next one will have the same ending due to infidelity or changes in circumstances, environments, etc. due to either of them in the same way...

I want to reap so that my worries don't get any bigger.

Become a “Shinobi” with a blade and heart. It's a place where I always want to have a blade to reap my worries in my heart.

I don't know all the circumstances of this incident, but after all, the blame from the wife is natural, and I know that instead of having a grudge against it, they are being made to sincerely accept the blame, apologize, and make amends, and start over again by “Shinobi” who reaps that grudge, but what about...

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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