I don't understand my faith in Amida anymore

You won't go to hell. This is because if you sing Namu Amida Buddha even once, Amida will save you. Please don't worry.
Also, Honen Shonin, who founded the Jodo sect, said this to people like you about how to look at Amida now.
“Thanks to Amida, my illness and bad luck have been reduced to the extent they are now. Thank you very much. Namu Amida Buddha.” Please think of it this way.
Please heal your mind and body little by little.
Not only is Amida watching over you, but you also have your parents and many ancestors.
Life still has a long way to go.

There is a song called “Can you say the names of the constellations?” from over 20 years ago by a band called Muscle Girl Belt.
In those lyrics,
“Are you lonely? It's okay because I'm lonely too
are you sad? It's okay because I'm sad too
can't you do it? It's okay, I'm good at that too
So hey, can you say the names of the constellations?
Can you name the stars?
Can you call the magician by name?
do you want to die? It's okay because I want to disappear too
do you want to be alive? It's okay because I want to live too
Can't decide? It's okay, I'm good at that too
But hey, do you know where to come?
Can you get rid of your old memories?
Can you call the magician's name?”
There is such a thing.
I don't know if Kenji Otsuki, who wrote the lyrics, was conscious of Amitabha,
I'm superimposing the Pure Land of Paradise, Amida Buddha on “The Name of the Constellation” and “The Magician” in these lyrics.
Then, “Are you sad? It's okay because I'm sad too.” “Can't you make it through? “I” and “I,” who say “it's okay, I'm good at that too,” are looking forward to the salvation of Amitabha Buddha together with you,
Aren't they the troubled companions of ordinary people, the companions of foolish people?
I think belief in Amitabha Buddha is a hope for human kindness that supports Amitabha Buddha's equal mercy.
I don't think a world where people who believe in Amitabha can exist is something we have thrown away.

Hello, Tsugumi.

You believe in Amida, don't you? That's great.
Amida is not just about saving after death. My field of expertise is the world after death, and since I'm a Buddha, all my wishes can be fulfilled even now that I'm alive. Amitaba-sama sees and knows everything, including what you think is difficult. I think that's why I was led to this Hasunoha.

However, the goal is different between solving your suffering and saving Amitabha's solution. Even if the Buddha wishes to become rich, he will not lead to the rich. Even if you wish to cure an illness, it will not lead to a cure for the disease. But if it is necessary to become rich in order to become a Buddha, the Buddha will reach out. If a complete cure of an illness is necessary in order to become a Buddha, it will lead to a complete cure for the disease.
Buddha is always reaching out, hoping how Tsugumi devotes herself to becoming a Buddha. Noticing that is our training. Your suffering may also be a guide to becoming a Buddha. How can we stop this suffering? Tsugumi herself must think and implement it. This is where the Buddha's blessing comes in.

I know it's hard, but Amitaba-sama is always watching over you. It's like a mother watching that when a child gets mossy on the street, they can stand up alone without help right away. Please do your best, recite Nembutsu, and lean on Amida. Ten or one hundred times is no good. Whether it's a thousand times or ten thousand times, I sing until my painful feelings go away. Let's do our best by chanting Nembutsu together. Gassho

Tsugumi-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Amida Nyorai's salvation has certainly reached this Shaba world as well. However, even though Amita-sama has been offered a helping hand, it will depend on her own circumstances whether or not she can notice that hand and take the helping hand.

Faith is not something that can be saved simply by relying on that salvation; it is a place where salvation can be obtained through reliable Buddhist practice.

As for faith, His Holiness the Dalai Lama also often mentions in the Dharma, but “one should not simply accept the teacher's teachings with respect, and the goldsmiths should carefully examine whether the money they handle is real or fake by burning, cutting, and polishing that money, so they should also accept the teacher's teachings in that way, while firmly verifying each teaching critically, rationally, and logically Accepting it is becoming essential.

Of course, Buddhism also has teachings aimed at salvation in this life.

To that end, I would like to work little by little on the practice of the dual sustenance of wisdom and blessings in Buddhism towards the elimination of anguish, ignorance, and intellectual disabilities that hinder enlightenment.

Let's work hard together.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Amitabha's salvation also has earthly benefits. That is the benefit of the current generation of correct settlement.

Even if the Pure Land of Osho comes after death (the pure land of death), it is in the devotion of the present life that the Pure Land of Osei is determined. The place where this Pure Land of Osho was determined is called Gensho Shojoju (Gensho Shojoju).

This means that people actually die after death, but since that has been decided, it doesn't mean that you have to put up with it until you die. Nor does it mean that we should look forward to the Pure Land of the Past and live by deceiving the worries and suffering of present life with that hope.

I think there is concrete salvation in receiving the power of the Pure Land in modern life. To that end, we must ask Amida Buddha's wishes about what kind of world the Pure Land is.
The Pure Land is by no means an ideal world after death.

Amitabha did not build the Pure Land hoping for a world where our desires will come true.

I want to save everyone without getting them
I want to create a world where everyone shines as they are
I want to create a world where people don't hurt each other and don't eat each other

I hoped like that, fulfilled that wish, and built the Pure Land. In other words, those of us who are not in the Pure Land are not in such a state.

They are not satisfied with the way they are, and they suffer, hurt, curse, and devour their own thoughts.

After informing them about that, it is a wish, oath, and appeal that they will save you (me) as you are without getting in the way of it.
It even came down to the phrase “Namu Amida Buddha,” which has only six characters, and now it has reached us. We must praise those words, listen to them, and ask for their wishes from those words.

For those of us who worry and suffer, it's not painful just the way we are, it's painful to struggle to stop being the way we are. They are such foolish beings that it can be said that they struggle just the way they are even in the midst of hesitation.

Even so, are you still struggling if you manage to do something with your own strength? What do you look like now? It calls out and encourages people to wake up.

That foolishness isn't going away. That is the benefit of the Pure Land of Time.

Being able to notice foolishness, accept foolishness, and still live to the fullest, isn't it an advantage of current life?
Instead of seeing your own worries as something unjust that you are not supposed to suffer from, you can realize that they are worries due to the way you are, and live your whole life of worries.