After 8 days, I committed suicide. That's enough

Your determination is firm...
Wow, I'm struggling a lot, suffering, hopelessness... I want to be freed.

I really accept your feelings.
The fact that you have worked so hard
Even if you hurt a lot of people,
I love you and I'll never forget you.

At least tell your family and friends about your determination. Don't let it be a sudden break up.

I want to respect and accept your feelings.
I'm connected by email.
I'll be by your side until the end.
Let's talk.

Those who call themselves Namu Amida Buddha and Nembutsu and wish for past life paradise will be welcomed by Amida Buddha to the Pure Land of Paradise at the moment of their death.
This is what the sutras say.
I think it's also important for you to call yourself Namu Amida Buddha and Nembutsu.
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Let's say (say) it aloud in a constant rhythm.
Note that suicidal thoughts, negative thoughts about things, or not being able to enjoy whatever you do may be symptoms of “depression.”
Why don't you talk to a medical institution?
Also, I think it's better to stop bothering with debts you know you can't pay back.

Thank you for your question.
Your life is not yours alone.
Half is yours, but the other half belongs to society, the people around you, and many lives.
This is because you have given so many lives until now.
So if you can, use half of your life for someone you love.
Use it to support those who love you.
Isn't that how we live and die as people?
Namu Amida Buddha

I read it.

I sincerely ask the Buddha that you take the Buddha's guidance and pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise, and I will be quiet with all my heart in Nembutsu.
Namu Amida Buddha Namu Amidabutsu

You will definitely be born in the Buddha's Pure Land. Please don't worry, ask that you too pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise, and please go back to Nembutsu.
Namu Amida Buddha Namu Amidabutsu

There is no doubt that you have passed away, so please feel confident and cherish every moment of your future life.

Once again, you took your life in the midst of a mysterious marriage and a miraculous encounter. Also, they were nurtured by so many people and grew while receiving many lives.

Please repay that favor from now on and do your best to give as much as you can.

Please nurture many people and creatures with your own sincerity, not about money.

If you have the strength and energy to make that kind of determination, I think you can do anything.

You still have a lot of work left to do. You still have so much power. Your body works hard to support, nurture, and help you. Please be aware of its power and potential.

I also tried to commit suicide many times before, but I couldn't die, I couldn't die enough. At that time, I felt defeated. However, after recovering from my illness, I began to think that there might be something more I could do.

There will always come a time when you and I will die, and the Buddha will always welcome you at that time. It may be the rest of your life until then, for example, but it's not too late to do what you can.

Also, please make a little more use of the lives you have received from countless relationships, learn and absorb a little more, and work hard. You will surely be blessed with lots of wonderful karma.

Again, I sincerely pray for your redemption in the Pure Land of Paradise, and I sincerely pray that you will complete your life and life blessed with fertility and recompense.

You and I have decided where to go!

I read it again. If you don't mind, please let me hear how you feel again. I'm waiting for you.

It would be pretty dangerous to die the way it is now, right?

I was able to listen carefully to your words, which may be the last in hasunoha.

If you have made up your mind, maybe there's nothing we can do to stop it. But if you change your mind, we're always here waiting for you. Please let me hear your words again at that time. We look forward to seeing you until the very end.

Now, the reason you can only think about dying is not only because you weren't loved by the people you liked, not only because you were treated badly by people around you, and it's probably also a major factor that you have become desperate and driven yourself into the midst of such various causes.

This isn't about self-responsibility. However, it's a fact that my present is not unrelated to my past. If that's the case, even if the relationships around you are tough, the future will change depending on your attitude towards those relationships.
It's not like “something good will happen someday.” You can change yourself. For those of you who can take on whatever happens, carry it on your back, and live.

Don't you want to be who you really want to be?

You can't improve yourself through your own effort, experience, or knowledge. No matter what kind of you are, you don't lock yourself in a small world just for you, and it works to break and surpass you.

I've heard that your cry is a cry asking for something real. Also, I hope there will come a time when you can tell us something.
Of course, if that's not the case and you want to fulfill your feelings, I'll keep a close eye on you and think of you.

Namu Amida Buddha

[Postscript]
Thank you so much for your response. I read it. You're an honest person.
Humans can recover anytime. There's no such thing as being late. It doesn't mean that the past didn't exist, but if you can take on the past, that past will always be utilized and not wasted. You should be able to do that now.
I think you're fighting within yourself until the very end. I'm rooting for you.

Good evening. Thank you for your question.

Thanks for letting me know how you feel.
It's a painful feeling not to be dealt with by someone you like, and you're also bothering people.
You also called the Telephone for Life and the Buddhism-affiliated hotline, didn't you? I'm sorry that the connection didn't work.

You've talked to your doctor before, haven't you? I have also become depressed and have taken medicine, but once I take this kind of medicine, it doesn't dramatically improve; it gets better little by little. Let's continue patiently. If the effects seem weak (the feeling that I want to die doesn't go away), let's tell the doctor about that feeling. Make sure you don't increase the amount or stop drinking at your own discretion.

There is also a consultation desk to which Hasunoha monks belong.
https://hasunoha.jp/docs/kakekomilink#cat_6
Please try making a phone call.

You can consult as many times as you like at hasunoha. I want to hear more about your feelings. I'm waiting for the next question.