I failed to commit suicide.

From then on, I decided to commit suicide.
However, this time, too, it failed.
I faintly remember being dragged out and put on an ambulance.
There are no scars left on the body. There were no sequelae. I was discharged quickly from the hospital.

The plan was to aim for death due to weakness using a cassette stove (gas) and a sleep-inducing agent in a place where there were no people.
However, since the place I stepped in was private property, the owner who witnessed it was looking for my car.
That person was daredevil and had a personality where he could get his hands out before thinking.
When I locked the lock in the car, the lock on the right rear seat door didn't work for some reason.
The amount of gas wasn't enough (?) That's it.
These coincidences overlapped, and I was rescued.

But it's really frustrating.
Because the filling was too sweet, I lost my life again.
I burst into tears when I thought that I wouldn't be able to die.
What's more, until now, it's really terrible that you haven't been allowed to die even if you've been beaten that much.
If I don't live, don't kill, it's probably just me.

Why am I not even allowed to die?