Temple succession issues

Nice to meet you. I'm indebted to you.

You cannot take over the temple at your parents' house unless you are a male chief priest in a child temple.
So, at first, I started saying that my older sister, who is the eldest daughter, will marry a monk and take over the temple,
As my younger sister, I intended to do that, but I found out after visiting a specialized hospital that my older sister is in a gray zone for developmental disabilities.

I was also wondering if I had to take over in place of my older sister,
I was introduced to a monk by an acquaintance of my father, probably because she was trying to do her best as an older sister, and they started a relationship.
At that time, neither my father nor my mother seemed to take developmental disabilities very seriously, whether it was a Buddhist spirit or something.

However, my older sister has been living a life where day and night are reversed on a daily basis, and apart from the days she meets her partner and the days she goes to lessons, she continues to live a life where she stays in her room, eats only one meal, and sleeps without doing anything, which bothers the whole family.

Since a long time ago, I've only seen difficult stories from my mother about temples and how my mother is struggling, and I wanted to live without getting involved with the temple, so I left my parents' house and worked to support child development while living alone. However, the amount of work I was entrusted with increased, and I had no choice but to go back to my parents' house due to overwork and got sick. Currently, I am going to a rehabilitation hospital to treat thoracic outlet syndrome.

Faced with such a situation, due to the increase in time spent getting involved with my family, I saw my older sister's inertial life, causing tantrums when my older sister was grumpy, and even hitting and scattered about her parents, so I couldn't put up with it and couldn't stand it.

When my parents and sisters were together, I was crying and talking when I realized that it would be better for me to take over the temple than to be ruined by such an irresponsible older sister.

The fact that I don't feel like I want to take over is the same as it used to be.
Temples are not my personal property, and I'm worried about how to deal with this problem from now on. As much as I worry, my body is honest, and the pain in my body has increased and I still can't heal. I'm worried about whether my body will improve too. Please help.

4 Zen Responses

Respect for “parents and sisters”

Good morning. Nice to meet you.

I think you're worried about succession issues and relationships with your family.
You're probably worried.

It's a fundamental problem, but I don't think your family's approval can be obtained because you initially lived with “I want to live without getting involved with the temple,” and even now, you “don't feel like you want to take over” will take over. It's not written in writing, but I imagine the story “Where My Parents and Sisters Are Together” wasn't ridiculous.

Let's stand in the shoes of “parents and sisters.”

People who have lived in a different place until now and had a different way of life got sick and came back home. That's because I got sick, so I “had no choice but to go back to my parents' house,” and I didn't go back home for the temple. The person who came back presses for changes in the prescribed route so far and criticizes a certain order (leave aside what is good or bad) of “parents and sisters.” This won't go through.

It is said that “my older sister is in a gray zone with developmental disabilities.” I can't limit it because of that, but I think my parents want to set a path for my older sister to live. It's probably only if we think about the future of the temple after we're gone, and our daughter, who has poor living power. From the text, it looks like the older sister hasn't gone to work outside, so the older sister herself probably lives completely admitting that her successor is her own. If you were to offer a successor, what would happen to your older sister's future life?

The temple's internal problems and family relationships are one.
Right now, I think there's very little room for you to intervene.

I think it's only when it becomes a family that you worry.
However, I think there are times when it is better for the family to grasp the extent to which you are involved and let go of the parts you are not involved in.

Rather, I think it would be nice for you to concentrate on recovering your own health and regain your own life.

Please take care of yourself.

FYI.

Good morning.

Thank you for your serious thoughts and for listening.
How to deal with this problem.

I think it's necessary to sort them out one by one.
If you don't mind, why don't you think about the following questions where your feelings are close.

(Is the house or temple really in trouble?)
a) I don't want my house to be messed up
b) I don't want religious corporations to be ridiculed

(It's called my temple, but what I'm worried about is “myself” or a “temple”)
a) If it's my parents' temple, I can take over
b) I want to enter any temple

(Is my temple really profitable?)
a) The principal image guides our family in a positive direction
b) Since there is a temple, my family is spoiled and it's ruined.

(Is my temple bad if it's not my family?)
a) I can't imagine my family living in a place other than a temple
b) If a new successor comes in, can I leave the temple with my family

I'm sorry if it made me feel so hard.

I hear the difficult stories and hardships of the temple,
Every job other than Otera also has difficult parts.
From my point of view, I think general companies other than temples are having a hard time and making corporate efforts.

But no matter how hard it is, I want to win a gold medal and make my dream come true.
There are many people in the world who think so and are making an effort.

I think the temple will be able to do something if there are friends who support it.
The important thing is that the parishioners are cherished, can the temple family also take care of it?
Rather than whether it's difficult or not, whether you like it or not, or how prepared you are, it's probably about creating an environment that nurtures feelings and people together.

There are also temples that guide bad people with the power of Buddhism.
I think if I can sort out the viewpoints of the temple, my family, and myself, I think we can pave the way.
Either way, please take care of yourself first.

Temple succession issues

Thank you for your hard work. I am also a “former chief priest.” The current chief priest was a good-natured person who had excellent abilities as a chief priest. In my case, I was able to resolve the succession issue by being blessed with such legal rules. The Jodo Shinshu Honganji school to which I belong is basically a so-called “blood line” succession where the temple family inherits the temple. However, in my case, there were no successors, so I carefully prepared and carried out the “law line” succession in advance to inherit the person who was prepared and willing to inherit the Dharma Lantern. Of course, succession to the “law system” required the support and understanding of various people supporting the temple, including revising temple rules and the disciples. As a result, the temple that was taken over is currently being operated as a lively temple.
I think there are various circumstances at the temple, so I don't think this applies, but there are also reference cases like this, so I don't know if they can be useful, but I would appreciate it if you could share the case.

Namu Amida Buddha Gassho

You can't decide alone.

You yourself are in a difficult condition
I think it's a difficult situation.
In the midst of that
Family issues are also complicated
I don't feel like it.
First of all, please take care of yourself
Let's focus on getting back in shape.

What about temples
It is up to the current chief priest and the head of the parish family to decide.
thereupon
There was a story about wanting to succeed you
It's a good thing to think about for the first time.

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