What about the future with him whose hobbies and interests are so different?

It's about the guy I met on a matching app 3 months ago.
They are people with deep feelings, and they listen to and understand stories very well. Actually, I lost my partner to a sudden death three and a half years ago, and I haven't laughed ever since, but thanks to him, the timeline of my life has returned.

The feeling that I want to cherish isn't a lie, but my hobbies, interests, and likes are too different.

I don't think it's good to compare myself to my partner who passed away, but my partner had almost the same hobbies and likes, so there was no sense of incongruity.

What's the difference, for example, is that while I want to go out actively during the holidays, he's the type who wants to relax at home now.

At age 55, he likes 48 group idols, smartphone games, and pro wrestling.
Once in a while, I go to slots or play mahjong with my company colleagues. However, it is not gambling addiction.
But I hate that kind of thing.

I'm 53 years old and my hobbies are marathons and tennis, but he hardly plays sports.

Other than that, in contrast to his nocturnal guy who watches TV until midnight, I'm the type that wants to go to bed regularly and early.
Speaking of which, watching TV shows doesn't fit either.

I like it because I know that the way of thinking and values are fundamentally the same, but since my hobbies and interests are the exact opposite, I sometimes lose the confidence to continue.

Even when they talk about idol girls, they don't nod at all, and they don't have any interest in pro wrestling at all.
It's been a short time since we started a relationship, so maybe they're uneasy.
Is it boring to worry about hobbies... even though you're a good old adult?
Will this difference be an obstacle for us to stay together in the future?

4 Zen Responses

So, I can't say it's no good

My husband and I have completely different hobbies and intentions. Therefore, even when we have time, we almost never act together. It's also hard to find common topics. They have different ways of thinking, so it doesn't fit even when talking, and it's not fun.

But it's strange that they've been together for close to 30 years. I don't know what will happen in the future, but looking back on the past, not interfering may be the reason it persisted. But I'm not sure if that was a good thing. I can't say anything.

Having different hobbies also means being able to keep a reasonable distance, so it's hard to end up fighting if the distance is too close. You can also look at your opponent objectively, so it can be said that it's not all bad things. Maybe it's better if you don't interfere, try to force your opponent, or sneak up on them.

You probably won't be able to get quite a sense of elation, but...

Thank you for your question.
Everyone has different DNA, so it's natural that they have different hobbies and interests. If you want to spend time with someone with the same hobbies and interests, you have no choice but to say goodbye. However, if each acknowledges each other's hobbies and interests and can come close, new trust and love may be born from there. There was a short story about a couple who sold a watch and bought a comb to comb her hair, cut their hair for him, bought his watch strap, and gave them to each other. From that house, they heard the two laughing rather than angry voices about each other's gifts being wasted.

I'm not talking about his hobbies, it's about him

As an inexperienced person, I was wondering if it would be okay for me to answer a story with an eye on marriage, but I'm sorry if I felt disrespectful.

I don't think having different hobbies is a big problem, but doesn't Warashi herself want her partner to listen to what she enjoyed?
There are people who can complete their hobbies only within themselves, but many people want their favorite things to be heard! I feel like that.
I think it means I want people to know myself.

I think it's a valuable person to be able to feel that “the way of thinking and values are fundamentally the same.”

Even if you don't understand your partner's hobbies, wouldn't you be able to think “I want to know about him who likes those hobbies”?
Also, will my partner listen to me too?

I don't know at all whether things will go well in the future, and what I said is just a one-sided perspective.
I answered it while being rude as one of my opinions.

What do you want to prioritize?

Feelings I want to cherish
What about hobbies, interests, and things you like
Which weight is bigger?

Does he seem to get along with your hobbies?
Why don't you go to a pro wrestling match with him?

A new relationship from the 50s,
I think it's a good idea to try something new.
If it still doesn't suit you
I think it's unavoidable to break up.

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