I want to die even though I don't want to die

It makes me want to die even though I don't want to die

Please help

I think I'm blessed. There are no problems with my family or school, and I feel that my part-time job is rewarding. I love studying, and I also have hobbies that I can focus on. I'm worried that there are many days when I don't feel well, but I don't want to die because of that. It's not that I don't like myself for nothing, and I don't think I would be a better person to die.

But all too often, everything becomes irrelevant, and no matter what, I want to disappear right now or die. When I'm in such a state, I get extremely frustrated, I can't stop my tears, and I can't get anything on my hands. Recently, my eyesight is clear in the middle of the night and I often can't sleep, so I'm forced to sleep by taking medicine prescribed by a psychiatrist.

When I put the timing that makes me want to die in my notebook, I thought my period might be related, so I went to a gynecologist or psychiatrist to get medicine, but nothing got better. I tried exercising, improving my diet, and receiving counseling, but I couldn't suppress my desire to die.

I don't want to be controlled by my desire to die anymore. I hit every move I could think of. I don't know what to do anymore.

3 Zen Responses

All you need to do is confirm “it's a delusional distraction”

Let's do a little experiment.
After stopping body movements in a comfortable position,
Use your mouth to say “ah i u o”
At the same time while saying
“1, 2, 3, 4, 5” with the heart
Please try to keep that in mind.
Repeat it several times.
Let's get as far as we can without interrupting “A, I, E, O” while concentrating our consciousness so as not to think about anything other than “1, 2, 3, 4, 5” as much as possible.
Stay focused!
But after all, don't all kinds of delusional distractions break into your mind?
Our brain is such a capricious organ that outputs delusional distractions regardless of intention.
So, there's no need to worry about delusional distractions.
It's OK just to notice, “Oh, another delusional distraction came to mind.”
If delusional distractions come to mind during work where you have to concentrate, such as while studying or at work, “Oh, those are delusional distractions. Please restore your consciousness by saying, “Let's focus on what we need to focus on right now.”
In the same way as “Aiueo” and “1 2 3 45.”
Even if clouds can hide the moon, they cannot destroy the moon.
Once the clouds have passed, the moon will be bright again.
Even if a customer with delusional distractions comes in, delusional distractions are not the master of the mind, so they will always disappear.
So don't worry.

The Devil

Reisama

In Buddhism, there are times when Buddhist relatives get in the way of the “Three Impossible and Four Demons,” and one of them is “death.”

There is a possibility that is such a demon.

The true nature of this demon is ignorance (fundamental ignorance) and worry.

Buddhism also teaches how to overcome this.

Therefore, if you learn and practice Buddhism thoroughly, you will be able to overcome this demon.

“Revealing life and revealing death is the most important cause and effect”

By knowing the truth about what life and death are, I want to repel the devil of death.

Here's one book that's useful for that.

Please use it as a reference if you like.

“Tibetan Book of Life and Death” (Kodansha, Sogyal Rinpoche)

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

I want to die, but I don't want to die.

・I want to die
・I don't want to die
Which one is bigger?

Even if “I Want to Die” is big
If there is “I don't want to die”
I'm not going to die.

“I want to die”
Synonymous with “I want to disappear”
It is an expression of the feeling that “I actually want to be alive.”

If you think about age
I think it's puberty.
That self
Why don't you have an objective eye?

← all dialogues ← previous next →