Is the desire for knowledge an affliction
I'm a university student studying humanities disciplines. Since I woke up to the fun of studying when I was in high school, I have dedicated all my time to studying until now, leaving it up to my own desire for knowledge. Above all, I am devoting my time to Western philosophy, Islamic studies, modern Japanese literature, and languages.
Learning is a scary thing; when you know one thing, ten things you don't understand appear, and the number of things you want to learn increases exponentially. And unlike games and gambling, you won't get bored. Until now, I've had a very happy time leaving it up to the student privilege of being able to study as much as I like. However, it became a time when people around me started hearing stories about employment, and as I thought about the future, I began to think about the time left for me.
Even though I still have decades left, my time will drop a lot once I get a job, and considering that my memory decays as I get older, the time left is too short to learn what I want to learn. I feel an indescribable horror when I think that I'm going to die while continuing to think “I still want to study.”
If it is an affliction such as greed or lust, it seems that obsession can be abandoned, but I feel that desire for knowledge has clearly different properties from other afflictions even with the same “greed.” I think one example of this is that Buddhism preaches “abandon all greed,” and at the same time, studying a huge number of sutras is rather recommended.
However, the desire for knowledge is the same as distress in that it makes people suffer. When I feel joy in the deepening and relativization of my thoughts during my studies, I always despair thinking about what I want to learn in the future. But that doesn't mean I can come to the conclusion that “we should stop learning.” “Learning” is more sublime than anything else, and for me it is the very meaning of life.
How can I overcome this fear of mine?
I thought that everyone studying Buddhism might have thought about the dilemma of desire and learning, so I posted it on this site.
It's been a long time, but if I summarize my questions, they are the following 2 points.
・Is the desire for knowledge a desire that should be thrown away
・If the desire for knowledge should be thrown away and is not a thing, how can the suffering caused by the desire for knowledge be eliminated
