Sometimes it becomes difficult to be myself

Hello.

You've gone through various painful experiences in the past and now, aren't you?
I understand that painful, and even now, feeling.

What caught my attention was the opening sentence.
“I haven't been able to build good relationships since I was young. I felt betrayed by my partner from stories I heard from people, etc., and if I had distrust, I kept a distance from my partner instead of resolving it through discussions. Keeping a distance was something that clearly hurt their opponent in a form where they almost ignored it.”

Create an image of your opponent from external hearing, and keep a “distance” from your opponent as per that image. There is no “discussion,” and you can see how to communicate by maintaining that “distance” in the form of “ignoring.”

You've probably noticed this yourself, but it's important to “discuss” directly with the other person, and I think it's necessary to think about things flexibly without making decisions. It's common for people to “discuss” directly and think about things they never thought of themselves. Also, I notice myself that I wasn't thinking in the other person's shoes.

Face people head-on.
in my own words.

Never look at it from a distance,
Not someone else's words.

I thought it would be nice if I could keep this in mind.

One more point, I thought you might lack the experience of being accepted by people close to you. As a child, we build relationships with our friends and surroundings based on our experience of communicating with parents. In that sense, children are very similar to parents.

Have you ever felt that during the process of growing up, you haven't felt much of a sense of security that they will acknowledge you just the way you are? If you can only live your life as if you were stepping on thin ice, which would destroy your relationship with your partner, it's probably because you are unstable, which is the root of communication.

For this reason, how about promoting self-acceptance through a counselor? Counseling has a wealth of knowledge about that. I thought it might be possible to build relationships with people based on a sense of security by first rechecking how I communicate with myself and then stabilizing this.

I think we all agree that we don't want to hurt people.

But there are times when it hurts.
That can't be helped. Your opponent will get hurt, so it depends on how they receive it. That's what happens when this feeling isn't conveyed, isn't it? As you've already noticed, it's important to have a conversation and make corrections. Even so, there may be times when we don't understand each other.

If there is a connection, the relationship will continue. The method of ignoring is tricky, so it's best if you can do it gently.

I think we'll meet again and meet a lot of new people over the next 10 to 20 years. It's also important not to build too many walls, but even if you're not good at it, please respond in your own way and with sincerity. Humanity can be seen from that appearance. Don't compare yourself to others, do your own way, and be honest. I'm sure there will be a few people close to you that you have a relationship with.

“The only thing that caused the accident was the moment of collision. The rest is cleaning up.”
This is my master's teaching. When I had been depressed for a few months after causing a traffic accident, I woke up in a flash with this guidance and my obsession unraveled. This is probably because they were able to correctly “correctly” recognize the reason and truth of things.
Flashbacks, traumas, and obsessions that continue for a long time are misunderstood, lost, and mistakenly perceived in the brain as “as if they were continuing now [cause a new thought now].” That's why it twitches.
The teachings of Zen are not viewed as the teachings of Zen or the difficult ideas of Buddhism. There are people in the world who think there is something called Zen, but it's the root of things. The root. There is no proper reason why there are no labels called Zen or Buddhism. Similarly, without your true experience, first, take a proper look at the facts. See and assess correctly. By knowing the truth, you will have the greatest clarity of mind.
First of all, if you think back to the bad experiences you experienced, there was a difficult moment when such things happened, said, and done. This is a definite fact.
However, if tough people had the same experience, they would go back and forth. (#) You guys are the only ones! Shame on you as a person by bullying the weak by stopping by in a group! I've recorded the bullying conversations up until now! The path ahead is going to be bleak, so be prepared! (._.) 💦 (°°) 💦 (; ict;) 💦
The essence of bullying happens when you can't see it. I don't do it in public. We know it's a bad thing, and we're doing it, so even if it's in the past, it should be corrected by true humanity.
Now, what hurt yourself? Let's know that in fact, “you yourself hurt you excessively” at the moment of a collision or crash with another person. You probably don't think so, but tough people are calm even after having the same experience. There are also people who correct their opponent's misconduct rather than hurt themselves. That is the spirit of good leadership, guidance, redemption, and salvation.
There are probably places where you overreact because you are afraid of getting hurt. Actually, the negative reaction that occurs at the time of that excessive reaction may be bothering you like German extract. Let's spend our time watching it closely and not getting hurt.