hasunoha

Relatives who get married on NEET

My husband is the eldest son and he is preparing to take over the business in the near future.

I have a younger brother, and I was working after graduating from college, but I took a leave of absence due to depressive symptoms, came back to my parents' house, and was unemployed while being treated at a psychiatrist.

I wanted to do something about it, so I signed up for a company run by my parents a while ago, paid my salary, and started attending vocational training schools.

Just the other day, my brother's dating partner got pregnant, so we're getting married! I told them that.
irresponsible behavior in this state.
The meaning is unclear, but it's a family, and I thought we should get along well with my younger brother's wife who is getting married.
It seems that she is retiring and moving here. My parents told me that they are planning to separate and that they will live together because they probably won't be able to live with my current salary.

I respect my parents-in-law, who are very kind and serious, and although my husband and I have received support, I cannot welcome this situation.

Right now, my younger brother is supposed to help my husband after graduation, but will he be able to work in the company's tough relationships?

To be honest, I don't understand that they would buy luxury cars even if they would cheer up even a little bit.

The mother-in-law herself also seems to have been depressed after delivery, and she seems to be putting herself on top of her second son. I'm worried that my wife and child will join such a codependent parent-child relationship, and I'm worried about whether it's okay.

It's about my family, so I want them to be happy from the bottom of my heart, and I want to warmly welcome new lives.

But my parents-in-law are more important than our family.
When I think about business succession and child-rearing, and whether the younger brother and his wife will live while being spoiled until the grandchildren's generation, aside from our difficult times from now on, I inevitably feel disgusted by my parents-in-law and younger brother couple.

Also, what do you do if your relationship breaks down due to living together, or if you can't work even after you graduate from school?
Honestly, I'm worried that sparks are about to fly this far.
What should we think about it from now on?

3 Zen Responses

There are no possessions in the world

Buddhism explains that the concept of oneself is an illusion.
It's just a hypothetical name “I” for a group of cells that are metabolized every moment, and it's a new creature every moment.
Therefore, my possessions have no substance.
So, your parents' assets, company assets, work, and position are not your property, and it's natural that they don't turn out the way you want them to.
All you have to do is accept the reality of the wind that is blowing, whether it's a tailwind or a headwind, and do what you can to the extent you can.
If you don't think so, you'll get angry and won't be able to live your life, so think of it as a spell to reduce stress
Remember, “This is not my property.”

After taking a break

I read it.
I also understand your worries. It's probably going to be a blaze out of blue for you. I'm afraid your heart is in a state of panic right now.

Let's take a break for now; if we lose our perspective before and after in a hurry, we won't be able to look at things correctly.
Let's take a breath and adjust our breathing slowly. Then try to ease the tension in your heart little by little. Now you are living well. You, your partner, and everyone in your family are living together. I think there may be some selfishness or differences of opinion, but it may be really trivial.
Why don't you prepare your mind and then slowly talk with your partner, talk to your parents, and talk about your younger brother's family too? Instead of making sudden judgments, let's take our time little by little without giving answers.

At that time, please review what is important to you and what is important to everyone in your family. The answer isn't something that comes right away, is it?

Also, I think it's okay to imagine the younger brother's state of mind and the thoughts of everyone in the family.

Don't be in a hurry, let's all think carefully while being considerate of each other.

I sincerely pray that you, your partner, and everyone in your family will be on good terms and be truly happy for the future while caring for each other.

I see! Please take your time and express your feelings here a little longer. And let's sort it out little by little. We are always waiting for you.

More about yourself than worrying about others

 Thank you for your hard work while supporting my fugu husband and working in his family business. Please take care of yourself.
My answer is about people's homes, so let's think that this kind of life also exists. What's wrong with spoiling your parents while they're around and using it? As long as nothing goes wrong, the parents will die first. What to do at that time, right?
More than that, you'll probably have to have children and raise them from now on. At that time, it requires a lot of money and effort. Are those savings sufficient? Every company's actions are imperfect. I don't know when management will stop competing. Are your ingenuity and business plans perfect to prevent this from happening? The shortage of human resources will become serious in the future, but are you taking measures against it? Five years from now, we will enter an era where AI will replace humans. Are you fully prepared and knowledgeable? Even disasters and infectious diseases can have an impact on management. Are you fully prepared for that? It's a waste of time to get involved with other people even though I have to update all the time. You should respond when they talk to you.
I'm sorry for my depressed brother, but Japan's medical care, government, and NPO corporations are excellent. There is nothing shameful about relying on such specialists. I think you should spend your time putting your worries first.