I'm obsessed with the guy I broke up with

I've been looking at this site before, but I'm asking a question for the first time.

I was dumped the other day after I decided to get a job and it became a long distance away from him for a month and a half.

They started a relationship on the premise of marriage due to his enthusiastic appeal, and they were very kind and attentive.
On the other hand, I intend that my younger boyfriend has supported me in various ways since he was a student.

However, it was an unfamiliar job, and my first time living alone on land.
I should have known that he has a strong sense of responsibility and is vulnerable to pressure, but I couldn't support him.
On the contrary, I even thought that the complaints phone calls that come every day were a bit annoying.
His feelings cooled down due to my words and actions, leaving nothing but debts and in-laws, and as a result of thinking it through, he was handed over goodbye.
I cried and scratched my feet on the spot, but I didn't get a chance.

I myself have always replaced my lover due to my own change of heart, and I think the act of trying to be able to only watch him for his kind girlfriend hurt and exhausted me.
Also, starting with his enthusiastic appeal, I didn't really understand my feelings, and I almost never conveyed “I like it.”
It wasn't until I lost it that I had a tremendous desire for exclusivity.
It's unbearable for him to like someone or like someone else! (in romantic feelings)

Even if I press for reunion as it is now, I don't think it will reach him who was worried and worried and made up his mind, so I'm thinking of studying psychology a little bit to correct words and actions that may be the cause.
I also quit my part-time job when I chased him, so I'm thinking about finding a job that would be positive for me next (I was dumped on the day I chased to a place where I live alone with a promise)

I know that not much time has passed yet.
But is it okay to just forget about it?
I wonder if they're just about 30 and they're just impatient.
I wonder if it's just a pity that they don't even have any friends, and that they have met and appealed to me...
Feeling that they want to become a monk and practice ascetic practices is probably just an escape.

Please let us know what you think...

I'm sorry for the long and random sentences.
Thank you for reading this far.

2 Zen Responses

I wonder if I should give up

Long distance relationships are pretty difficult, aren't they?
Unfortunately, I think it's better to give up.
You're not the only one to blame.
I think he's also at fault when he always complains on the phone.
I want to create a relationship where we can support each other, not a relationship where you support each other unilaterally.

If you love him, wish him happiness in the future.
Don't try to make him your own.
It only causes suffering.

You should not become a monk until you are older.
You're still young, so it would be a shame if you became a monk.

A break up in the middle of a lifetime

I'm sorry for the painful feeling that you just broke up with him and you don't have a very painful feeling. Now, in the midst of that feeling, I think it would be good for you to slowly think back on your connections with people again. Relationships with lovers can also inevitably be dependent or indulgent. It's easy to prioritize your ego when you really want people to understand your feelings. When it escalates, there are many cases where it is better to keep a distance from each other. Maybe they'll have another encounter, or maybe they'll get back together again. I hope you can look at yourself now without being impatient and face your future life. I wish you all the best in your relationships with people from your generation.

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