There is nothing but distrust of the monk who comes to my house

My grandmother is a member of the Jodo Shinshu sect.

“huh?” from before There was something I thought about, and my grandmother passed away the other day, and we had a lot of discussions.
First, I brought my own boombox during the memorial service a few years ago.
Originally, they spoke in a lumpy manner, and it was always hard to hear what they were saying, but the sutras were boombox. Of course, it seems that the monk was reading it too, but the voice was so quiet that I could only hear it from the boombox.
The place had an atmosphere like “what is a boombox...”
Is it OK to use the sutras on a boombox?
At a later date, I heard from my aunt that they were billed 20,000 in addition to the offering.
Is the fee paid by an individual?

Also, at the time of this funeral meeting, my grandmother hates chrysanthemums.
So when my relatives were talking with my grandmother, who loves purple, that they like purple flowers, the monk said, “Jodo Shinshu is useless if it's not chrysanthemums,” and no matter how much I explained this, “It's a chrysanthemum,” it was a point of “it's a chrysanthemum.”
I'd like to send you a flower I love rather than a flower I don't like, but is it bad if it's not chrysanthemums after all?

It has nothing to do with manners, but when deciding on the schedule, I told them that I would like to do the ossuary early and do it with my grandfather, and without much reason, they said, “I want to think a little bit, so I'll have a wake the day after tomorrow, and the funeral the day after tomorrow.”
I don't really understand what I'm thinking, and at the end of the day, “I just remembered it, but I have something to do tomorrow.”
I was opening my notebook, but my schedule was blank.
We had a lot of trouble, but we broke down and the discussion came to an end.
However, they seemed offended, and they went home quickly without saying hello to their relatives.
The color of the robe is black and he is a decent age.
I'm ignorant of religion, etc., but I'm confused about something.
Are boomboxes, kesayo, and Buddha flowers normal?
Thank you for your support.

4 Zen Responses

There are various monks

I'm really sorry for your grandmother's misfortune.
Now, I've seen the question.
About boomboxes
I am a memorial service (sutras)
The deceased
What gives peace to a anxious soul
How to give your descendants peace of mind after death by praying
bereaved family
Transforming unmotivated and unavoidable feelings into prayers and delivering them
Putting hands together and praying is something the deceased can do
I think it's a place to tell people about it.
So I think it's always the first and last place to play what was recorded.

Kesayo
I think the point is the cleaning fee.
It's a very cash story, but it takes quite a bit if you bring a hat or clothing to the city administration's cleaning.
For example, if you do a groundbreaking festival in the middle of a downpour, it may get really dirty due to the rain, and the cleaning fee may be higher than the donation fee.
Therefore, depending on the gifts paid separately, there may also be a current situation where...
However, cleaning at every memorial service is unthinkable, so I wonder...

ABOUT CHISUTS
Chrysanthemums are a staple Buddha flower. There are various theories about this, but in Japan, the flower called chrysanthemum is regarded as the most precious and valuable flower (Tenno family crest)
In other words, it seems that the beginning is to offer the most precious flower.
What is there is a feeling of sending the most precious thing to an irreplaceable person.
So I think sending chrysanthemums to people who don't like chrysanthemums is caught up in formality and losing sight of the essence.

There is room for improvement on the monks side

Hello.

They are of the same denomination, but I've never heard of a “boombox” at a memorial service.

I know if it's an aid for not being able to make a voice if you have some kind of vocal cord disease. However, even in that case, you can understand if you use it as a speaker through a microphone, but apparently it's playing a CD or something. This isn't good. At the end of the day, the voice of the monk himself should be the main one.

It is said that “the color of the robe is black.”
In our denomination, we sometimes wear a monochromatic kabana called sukesha at vigils and funerals. This is likely to be the case (the ink pattern does not indicate the position or position of the monk).

I've never heard the “claim” of “Kesayo.”
However, there are cases where the necessary expenses for a temple are shared per household by arrangement between followers (parishioners). This is a case where relationships are distributed between families when purchasing new clothes for a temple or when buying new clothes. It may actually have been a “Kesayo,” but there is also a possibility that it was officially part of such a mutual aid system.

They say, “Jodo Shinshu must be a chrysanthemum.”
Certainly, chrysanthemums are often the basic Buddha flowers, but I think they should be flexible to some extent based on the mourner's intentions (other than flowers with spines, etc.). I think it's a good idea to think about Buddha flowers on the basis that they are basically an expression of the Pure Land of Paradise.

There is at least a lack of communication on the monks side when it comes to “deciding the schedule.” It is not desirable to give followers distrust due to lack of words or explanations.

There are times when I'm not there, and I don't like pointing it out unilaterally, but I think it's a case where there is room for improvement in law enforcement methods and communication.

It's really disappointing.

There are customs peculiar to the region, so I can't say unequivocally
There is no such rule for ceremonial manners as the Pure Land Shinshu.

If you don't like listening to that temple about Buddhism
I think there's no choice but to look for other temples.

About the Seven Charges

In our hometown, we rent Shichijo kasa (Shichijokasa) to hang on a body or coffin from a temple, so it's common to pay the “Shichijo fee.”
If you buy Shichijo Kesa, it costs hundreds of thousands of yen. Even though they can be used for decades, the temple side is also thankful that they receive the “Shichijo fee.”
Since funerals are rare in small temples, it is possible that various expenses cannot be recovered through donations alone.
I don't think the custom of paying a funeral fee even at memorial services that aren't funerals is an impossible story.

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