Can I change the monk?

My father passed away 3 years ago, and when the funeral was held, I didn't understand the denomination, so my mother was introduced to a funeral hall close to the Urmori sect (Jodo sect). Until now, I've only known people who are very nice, such as my husband's parent's temple or my cousin's temple. I can't feel the kindness of the temples introduced this time, such as their own bragging stories or boasting stories about how the temple has grown. The sect is the Jodo sect, but that person seems to be the Nishiyama Jodo sect. My husband is the Jodo Shinshu sect. My father is gone, my mother is the only one, and I don't think my mother wants the current Nishiyama Jodo sect to do the funeral. When Obon was last year, we didn't have a day off from work, and only our mother... are you alone, what happened to your daughters? They were told lumpy and didn't give the sutras for 5 minutes, and it seems that they brought home only the offering as soon as they didn't need tea. I was outraged to hear this from my mother. We are neither rich, nor are we common people. If you don't work, you can't eat. The mother also had questions about how to deal with such a mother living alone as a pensioner. Can it be changed? Also, the Midori-ku district of Nagoya is in case of change, could you introduce which one? I'm sorry for the inconvenient request. regards

4 Zen Responses

It's fine.

This is a very ear-wrenching and firming question.
There are times when relationships begin after being introduced or requested.

Once again, what do you all think and what do you think? There were times when feelings weren't conveyed well, and there were times when they couldn't be conveyed.

We pray with all our heart and soul, and risking our lives.

There are probably times when humans don't get along with their periods.

The Obon prayer is short, and I try not to drink tea as much as possible.
This is also true, but I wonder if it would have been different if there was a word from Osho, and at our temple, those who have died three times will be asked to adjust to the time at home as much as possible, and we also visit on days off, at night, and in the morning.

Unfortunately, I can guess which temple it is.

Once, isn't it okay to have a proper conversation with Mr. Osho?

Not just funerals, the number of cases where requests are being made has also increased.

I'm also a member of the Jodo sect, and if it's Midori Ward, I'll go to pray,

Once again, I'd like to hear your honest story.

I think there's no problem

Mamemama-sama
My name is Tetsuya Urakami from Nagomi-an, thank you for your support.

Looking at the question, it looks like it's a temple where they happen to have a relationship. In particular, they didn't become parishioners, and it doesn't seem like there is a tomb within the temple grounds, so I don't think there's any problem with changing monks.

As I heard, Nagoya City was attacked by air during the Pacific War in the first place, and I think it was a situation where graveyards were consolidated from temple grounds to park cemeteries in reconstruction plans. Therefore, I think it is also a land pattern where there is relatively no resistance to changing temples.

Also, I feel that the future will be an age where temples and monks will be chosen not only in Nagoya, but especially in urban areas.

Aside from that, there's one thing I want to tell you (this is something I want to spread not only to Mamemama, but also to the general public).

It means, “You don't usually have a relationship with a temple, and in case of emergency, you are introduced to a monk by a funeral home, etc., and why don't you stop complaining that the boy wasn't good?”

For example, when you buy a car, you do a lot of detailed research. What kind of use is it, how is it performing, which store should I buy it at...
Going to a dealership without doing any research, buying a recommended car, and then complaining later isn't a smart move.

If it's a car, it's a story where you can replace it if you have money, but when it comes to monks who entrust the funeral of an important family member or ask for a memorial service for an important ancestor, it's irretrievable even if you regret it later.

“Could you introduce me to either one?” It says, but why don't you visit the temple that you think of yourself, attend a puja, etc., and feel the atmosphere of the temple and chief priest firsthand.

I hope you can meet a reliable monk.

It's fine.

In this day and age, there are many monks and temples that are posted on the internet, so I think it would be a good idea to search for various things.

I hope you have a good relationship.

On the need to re-examine the original meaning of Buddhist rituals and memorial services

Mamemama-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

It makes me think a lot about how to have a funeral and a memorial service after that.

In this day and age, it is certainly difficult in many ways to get along with temples and monks. Of course, there is also freedom of religion, so it is basically a place where each individual is free to decide what to do with their relationships. Previously, I answered the following questions as “freedom of religion” and “the parishioners system.”

Question “Please give me some advice about my grandmother's bones.”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002880885.html

Also, if you are devoting yourself to Buddhism (three treasures) and trying to be given great peace of mind in life and death as a Buddhist, I think it is still necessary to think again about the significance of Buddhist rituals and memorial services, even if each one proceeds with a review once again about their relationships with temples and monks.

For example, there is actually nothing more foolish than simply believing and accepting only formal things without thinking too deeply about why a funeral must be held or why a memorial service is necessary. Buddhism can be useful in the true sense of the word only if you understand its contents and content and make use of it in your daily activities.

For example, I recently re-summarized my humble thoughts on matters relating to funerals, so I would be happy if you could take this opportunity to take a look.

“About funerals”
http://blog.goo.ne.jp/hidetoshi-k/e/0816eb5e788bf5ecfc8eed8e901b1a76

“... I know that recent criticism of funeral Buddhism, or funerary simplification, and the theory that funerals and kakana are useless have a significant impact on the aspect of falling trust in the monks who perform funerals, but more than that, I know that the attitude of not seriously questioning or thinking about the original meaning of performing funerals, even though they are Buddhists, including monks, is a fundamental problem. I would be happy if you could take this opportunity as an opportunity to think again about why a funeral must be held. ・・”

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

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