I'm worried about committing suicide...

It sounds like you had a very painful experience.
If you don't mind, could you write the details in a new question?
We may only be able to read it, but maybe we can tell you something.

Please put suicide on hold anyway.
If you just commit suicide without doing anything, of course you'll go to hell.
However, if you kill yourself after learning about the Buddha's teachings or the Buddha's teachings, you won't go to hell.
Anyway, please bear with me for now.

Ninety percent of people who commit suicide are said to be “depressed.”
I want to commit suicide due to symptoms of “depression.”
If brain and nerve health are restored, there is a possibility that suicidal thoughts will abound.
For example, if your desire to commit suicide persists for 2 weeks or more, you may be “depressed,” so please consult your medical institution.
Just like when you catch a cold, you have a cough or runny nose, when you become “depressed,” you want to die.
The first step is to restore brain and nerve health.

In Buddhism, we think based on reincarnation.
If you have even a slight obsession or worry, even if you die, you will be reborn again into one of the 6 types of creatures: heaven, man, ashura, hell, ghost, and beast.
However, according to the Buddha's oath called Amida Buddha, it seems that if you have Namu Amida Buddha and Nembutsu, you will be born in a place called the Pure Land of Paradise.
There is no hell, hunger, or animal life in the Pure Land of Paradise.
Therefore, if you are reborn in the Pure Land of Paradise, you won't become hell, hungry ghosts, or beasts.
I'm not recommending suicide, but if you say Namu Amida Buddha and Nembutsu, you can think that even if you commit suicide, you will be reborn into the Pure Land of Paradise.

Hello, Manshin-soke. Choosing death just because it's painful is cowardly. Your life is connected to your father, mother, and many other people. When you die, the parents left behind will blame themselves and experience the suffering of hell for decades to come. Your life is not yours alone. Have the courage to talk to someone about your painful feelings without holding them alone!

Manshinosoko-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Our existence is called a “hypothetical union,” and the five elements are each composed of color (matter/body), reception (sensory/sensory action), imagination (expression/conceptual action), action (intention/willpower), and consciousness (awareness/cognitive action), and these elements are dependent on each other due to various causes (causes and conditions), and these elements are gathered together depending on each other due to various causes (causes and conditions), but after death, this body perishes, and even if physical functions and effects as they exist now stop, it is at 5 It is thought that mental inheritance (mental continuum) as fine consciousness that is not greatly influenced (the above knowledge is a rough level of consciousness) will continue even after death due to various causes and relationships.

So, it's a bit difficult, but it's not an extinction theory where everything becomes nothing, or rather, there is no such thing as myself as an entity that can be said to be “me” forever, and it is different from the theory of permanent residence, and I just think that there are things that persist due to cause and effect.

When it comes to mental inheritance after death, the most influential cause and effect is, after all, the person's own actions (karma). I hope you can think that it will be roughly decided what kind of destination it will take depending on the cause and effect of that gathering of acts.

As for suicide, there are suicides that are good causes, suicides that are bad causes, or suicides that are neutral causes, so it is not possible to say unequivocally “if you commit suicide, your soul is dirty, you cannot go to heaven or hell, and you wander forever and nowhere in hell,” but what I can say with certainty is that suicides motivated by bad worries or ignorance (fundamental ignorance) are not recommended at all.

Of course, whether the motive is good or bad also requires careful examination by comparing it with Buddhism on individual matters. Anyway, I strongly believe that if you are not truly sure about either one, you should quit.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho