Is it wrong to love someone like this?
Nice to meet you.
I've had a crush on someone for over ten years.
I was self-employed, had a strong sense of self, and had financial and mental leeway... it was a person I admired at the time.
Over the next few years, the distance gradually shortened, and I was even told by that person that I liked it. There were times when a hand was reached out due to a tight situation.
I also knew that women had bad habits, but before they took the form of dating, we ended up having a physical relationship... we ended up cheating.
This relationship became difficult about 2 years ago, and when asked, “I don't think about the future, I'm a good person if it's fun, and I've been asked by my partner up until now. I was told, “Female habits are bad, and it will make you struggle if you leave it like this, so look for other good guys.”
But even when I try to look at other people, I don't feel like it.
No matter how selfish things they say, I think I love that person.
Even now, we are invited to eat at night once or twice a week, and we meet for a few hours.
“I love you, and it's fun to meet you, so it's bad for me to just invite you. But I've conveyed my thoughts, so it's up to you to decide what to do.”
They don't use proper contraception, so they seem to know that they might eventually have children... but they both say getting married and having children is troublesome.
Especially when my burden is heavy.
But kids seem to like it.
It seems that once they are done, they cannot be completely left alone, but it seems that they will basically grow them in the same way as singles.
There is also an age where people are aware of marriage and children, so the current relationship has gradually become difficult.
I think I'm stupid, too.
I'm sure even after we broke up a while ago, I went to meet a different woman.
My friend also told me not to do it.
But I love that person with all my heart.
I think I would be happy if I could be by your side for the rest of my life.
But I have a weak heart, and my love for that person, my loyalty from thanks up until now, and my loneliness and suffering are already in a mess.
That's really stupid.
What does this act look like from a monk's point of view?
Should we stop it already?
I'm sorry for the long post.
It's painful, and my heart is about to break.
I would be grateful if you could give me some answers.
