hasunoha

Is it wrong to love someone like this?

Nice to meet you.
I've had a crush on someone for over ten years.

I was self-employed, had a strong sense of self, and had financial and mental leeway... it was a person I admired at the time.

Over the next few years, the distance gradually shortened, and I was even told by that person that I liked it. There were times when a hand was reached out due to a tight situation.
I also knew that women had bad habits, but before they took the form of dating, we ended up having a physical relationship... we ended up cheating.

This relationship became difficult about 2 years ago, and when asked, “I don't think about the future, I'm a good person if it's fun, and I've been asked by my partner up until now. I was told, “Female habits are bad, and it will make you struggle if you leave it like this, so look for other good guys.”

But even when I try to look at other people, I don't feel like it.
No matter how selfish things they say, I think I love that person.

Even now, we are invited to eat at night once or twice a week, and we meet for a few hours.
“I love you, and it's fun to meet you, so it's bad for me to just invite you. But I've conveyed my thoughts, so it's up to you to decide what to do.”

They don't use proper contraception, so they seem to know that they might eventually have children... but they both say getting married and having children is troublesome.
Especially when my burden is heavy.
But kids seem to like it.
It seems that once they are done, they cannot be completely left alone, but it seems that they will basically grow them in the same way as singles.

There is also an age where people are aware of marriage and children, so the current relationship has gradually become difficult.

I think I'm stupid, too.
I'm sure even after we broke up a while ago, I went to meet a different woman.

My friend also told me not to do it.
But I love that person with all my heart.
I think I would be happy if I could be by your side for the rest of my life.

But I have a weak heart, and my love for that person, my loyalty from thanks up until now, and my loneliness and suffering are already in a mess.
That's really stupid.

What does this act look like from a monk's point of view?
Should we stop it already?

I'm sorry for the long post.
It's painful, and my heart is about to break.
I would be grateful if you could give me some answers.

4 Zen Responses

Affirmation of business

Hello Kaoru.
If I think back, I've been in love with him since 10 years ago. They came slurping around, and even when I talked about Kaoru's wishes, the other side didn't know. Still, you like him.

He probably thinks, “I said what I'm going to say to you, so you can decide the rest.” That's crazy. That's really sly.
I understand it very well. Exactly what a man said.

Rakugo storyteller Danshi Tachikawa says, “Rakugo is an affirmation of karma.”
In rakugo, only helpless people appear. They're missing somewhere, they're stupid, they're criminal slayers, etc. Their lives, which can be said to be social outcasts, unfold in rakugo.
However, they are “straight.” Because it's “straight,” it's forgivable, even if you're an idiot, even if you're an idiot.

He's a “nice guy.” But at the same time, he's a “bad person.” There are good memories and bad memories. That's why it's so painful for you.
You spoke very well. I'm sure if I keep worrying about it like this, I won't have any dreams or hopes. Once you have children, you'll be raising them like singles. The happiness of “I like him who is hard and painful, but I can't help him, and I also love myself who is helpless.”

But please wait a minute. ... It doesn't matter if you have children.
It would be nice if it was just you. But kids don't matter. Will you be able to be “straight” when you have children? Can you throw him away for the kids? That determination has now led you to hasunoha. You spoke very well. I was thankful for the relationship. Be careful and don't let your guard down.
Your child's life is not yours.

I think your mind conveys your limits.

Kaoru-san
I don't know if it's a mistake
I think your mind conveys your limits.

He's probably an attractive person

From him
It is said in words that they like it
The heart is not accepted at all

therefore
I understand that they are liked in my head
My heart is not at ease at all

A message saying I like you
They say I don't care about you
Contradictory messages
Because they have been released at the same time for many years

your head and heart are confused and uneasy
I think it's getting harder

You are made uneasy by him
I want to be loved by him because I want to be loved by him because of that anxiety
Temporary anxiety can be relieved by being invited to a meal or having a physical relationship
However, it becomes uneasy because they are not accepted again

I think it's this repetition

Dominated in the form of love
I think they're being sexually exploited.

I just think he's unconscious.

I think the first signal was when I asked the question about 2 years ago
Your heart once again this time
I think they're telling you that it's already the limit.
Wouldn't it be OK to think about saying goodbye?

However, in the story, he is against women in general
That's how we get along

Why is his love affair like that
I was able to know
The anguish you have, your true feelings
If I could make him resonate
Maybe it's possible to change relationships
I think it's extremely unlikely, but...

Let's take birth control.

Birth control is something you learn in compulsory education.
I recommend using a condom.
A condom allows you to clearly see your partner's posture.
If you're thorough, he'll probably cut ties with you.
Women who are not convenient are unnecessary.

What a man thinks is completely different from what a woman thinks.
A “good woman” that men think of when it comes to love is a “beautiful woman who is convenient and clumsy.”
What kind of woman would you like to be?
Please think carefully.

That is your desire. Your ❝ woman ❞ is pitiful, right?

I will talk from a female perspective with character changes.
Image: Miwa Akihiro
(/・ω・)/
“Anata... your woman is crying.
My current relationship is no different from just being a sex friend.
Show off your dignity as a woman.
Anata drowned there and there was no progress. The indulgence and greed of Anata, who has always chosen that path, is not cool.
At least “take responsibility!” Have the strength to bump into him and his parents.
The reason I can't do that is because Anata doesn't have the ability to surpass his strength. I'm just playing the character Iiko-chan who is loved by him. Love isn't that kind of dependency. You have to be independent of him.
I'm trying to get it from him. Live for yourself, not for others.
Are you going to spend your whole life as a playboy woman? that's stupid. Being with a mother isn't that sweet.
Break up the relationship quickly. Kids are cute too.
He is centered on desire. It doesn't progress to the love you're looking for.
We both enjoy playing hard, so Anata deserved it too. It's convenient, let's play, woman.
The worst evil is you responding to his desires. I'm just running away from the word love and not seeing the truth.
Anata has chosen a convenient woman who has her own independence. Trying to turn him around, I even tried to get pregnant. Whoa whoa whoa!
If I were your birth father, I would be sad as a father and mother.
Do you know that the phrase “I like him” is running away on his own? (crying)
It's up to you whether to raise or lower a woman's dignity.
As a woman, I want you to have pride.
You despise your motherhood and women (human dignity). That is what Anata is suffering the most.
Well then, I feel sorry for both your motherhood and your woman.
Women are born with the best motherhood and ❝ feminine dignity ❞.
Men don't have that. That is the only absolute power, sex, that surpasses him.
If they were just “his wife” without a father, they would even take away the child's dignity.
Wouldn't awakening to motherhood mean having a proper father for a child?
I wonder if that means you become a woman in the true sense of the word.
Your woman is crying. (crying)
My friend's opinion of “break up” is really admirable even as a woman. Please take care of it.”
... that's right. (^▽^;) Make an effort to find new people.