I want to disappear

I would like to express my sympathy for the inconvenience.

I'm going to put it in a slightly harsh way. I'm sorry.

Even if you disappear, the things that bullied you
There's nothing to be sorry about, and your mother
just increasing the new sadness of losing you
You won't be able to stop losing weight.

If you live and don't change, the world won't change.
But it's a story that's not that simple, is it?

For the most part, humans are from when they are about 30 years old
Every cell in the body since birth becomes a new cell
I've heard somewhere that they will be replaced.
(I'm sorry if I'm wrong)

More than half of you are completely different from when you were born
It has become a body.
What doesn't seem to change is that “heart” hasn't changed
It's just that.
Do you want to keep hating someone and stay forever
Do you want to stay where you've been bullied
At the point where I think I've caused my mother a hard time
do you want to stay,

Or do you want to move forward, forward, and forward?
It's up to you.

When I think it's always going to be painful,
I'm going to bed thinking, “Tomorrow will definitely get better.”
Even when it wasn't a good day,
I live my life believing that “tomorrow will definitely be better.”

In order to do that, we have to live well today,
I think so. In order for tomorrow to be sure to be better.
You can do it today, the least you can do now.
Let's do something we can.
I think so.
The least we can do.
I think it's about “praying.”
I think humans have “prayed” and have grown.
Because one inch ahead in the dark is probably “scary.”
What makes you find “light” one inch ahead of it
“It's fine. There's light there.”
Because we believe and pray.

You, your mother, and your father
I hope you feel at ease. whoa whoa whoa. Gassho

I lost my father early and grew up in a mother and child family.
As an elementary school student, my mother worked hard to raise me alone.
I was by no means an honor student, so I caused my mother a lot of trouble.
There were so many embarrassing things I couldn't put on here.
But my mother raised me by saying that I was a great son.

Parents are the only ones who forgive unconditionally.
Now that I'm a father, I finally understand that.
I even think, “I'll take all responsibility for this kid.”

As a child, I don't think what you do is leave that place.
If you have a goal of getting into college, you should try Kabusara.
That figure is my mother's greatest treasure.
It's OK to fail.
You don't have to be great either.
However, I think the sight of them making an effort to become great is very smiling and something to be proud of when viewed from a parent's point of view.

Sakuya-san

When I was a child, I was shown fighting between my parents
I was beaten by my father, and I couldn't spoil my mother
I get bullied in elementary school
Due to an encounter with a teacher
The power to live has been restored, and friends can also be made
If you think you've achieved your goal of becoming a “teacher”
I was bullied again in junior high school
The teacher pretended not to see
Betrayed by a friend
In high school, I was bullied by teacher A who is my teacher
At the same time as being hurt both mentally and physically
Even my goal of becoming a “teacher” has been destroyed.

and
It takes 2 years for the mental and physical pain to go away
A certain goal has been achieved
If I make up my mind to go to college
My relatives who live nearby cursed me for those two years.
And I wonder if that kind of self is making my mother unhappy
I'm lamenting that it would be better for me to just disappear.

It was really hard
Sakuya works many times harder than people, puts up with it,
I think they were able to do their best to live
It was really hard

Please don't hate yourself
You haven't done anything wrong.
Situations where I have to say I want to disappear
I think it's alive.

Among them
Sakuya found a goal
I think it's really great.

You have your own pace.
You don't need to compare yourself to others.
Do your best when you can work hard for your goals
Rest when you're tired
When I want to lament, I lament and live

What is the way forward
I think it's going to change the meaning of the past.

You can take it slow.
Please do your best.

My name is Kameyama Junshi. As I wrote in the other answers, your “life” is “a human (carrot) suffering, and it has already been accepted. Buddhism is hard to hear, and I'm already listening to it.” That's it. This is a phrase that comes up at the beginning of Miki Yorifumi, and it shows that we are “living,” and even though it is difficult to be born as humans, we are now blessed with the opportunity to listen to Buddha's teachings even though it is difficult to encounter Buddha's teachings.

Also, an alumnus of the high school (usually a high school teacher) where I am currently working wrote in her college passing experience, “I think the world will change if I move. You can't change your past with others. But you can change yourself and your future.” There was a sentence called It may be difficult for me to “move on my own.” However, if I move, I think there is a possibility that “myself and my future will change.”

Also, there is a phrase in the work of illustrator 326 (Mitsuru real name: Nakamura Mitsuru) from Saga-shi, Saga-ken: “There are still no failures tomorrow, and it's worth living with that alone.” If it leads to a world where “there are still no failures tomorrow,” and a world “worth living in,” it means that a world “worth living in” is a world where “failure is allowed.”

Also, Professor Yuji Genda, a professor at the University of Tokyo, said, “Hope is not something you have; it is something you make.” I'm saying that. And he said, “If you hit a big wall that you can never cross in your life, it's important to wander around properly there.” It is also said. If you're wandering around, you may find a small crack by chance, and if you work hard to poke through that crack, little by little, that small crack will gradually become a big crack, and eventually it may become a hole that people can pass through. “I was lucky.” There are people who say, “Luck is not a coincidence; it's inevitable.” It is also said.

I've introduced the words of several people. I hope this answer helps you, even a little bit.

Sakuya's experience will be useful in my future life!

I think so too, as someone who was unusually bullied.

People around us always spit out irresponsible words.
It's impossible to say don't worry about it, but let's make a habit of thinking about more fun things.
I recommend focusing your mind on the goals you have taken for yourself.

Don't deny yourself that you've been bullied, and that you can just leave yourself as you are,
Please praise yourself for enduring and surviving.
Please praise them for enduring well and surviving.
You can just be you.

If you find a path where you can happily demonstrate your power, please be excited and push forward.
When you run into any difficulties, remember that you have overcome bullying.
You've run into great difficulties, and you've had experiences like no one else.
This is a major advantage for overcoming difficulties later in life.

Life is lived and won.
(It's not like winning or losing against anything...)

If I hadn't been bullied either,
Maybe he wasn't a manga artist or a monk.
(I was truant, took a leave of absence, and lots of ronin people... I'm not proud of it though)

Don't worry too much about your surroundings or your back,
Please look straight ahead and walk through life at your own pace.
I'm sure there will be lots of wonderful things ahead of that.

I was also bullied a lot when I grew up.
I was bullied a lot in kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school.
I was bullied even at the ascetic dojo.
The best thing is to be bullied, even if someone does it,
Don't bully your own heart.
It's about not creating a sense of being a victim that you've been bullied, or that you've been in pain.
People who do that kind of thing are really terrible people, but I try not to let my heart get crushed, wondering if they will succumb to such people.
Just today, I once had a conversation with a senior I wasn't very good at, and I was able to ❝ speak ❞ on an equal footing.
Motilon is quite older in terms of age, so I did my best to be polite.
Previously, there were times when I almost felt crushed, but apparently I found out that my ❝ losing ❞ thoughts crushed me the most.
If you lose to ❝ when you lose ❞ within yourself, blame yourself will occur in your facial expressions, attitude, and heart at that time. That is the real culprit who bullied you the most.
Even if you face bullying from now on, don't give in to your partner or your own thoughts.
Did you see the person who bullied you the most when you were with your partner?
“Yes, the feeling that I'm trying to hurt myself.”
Let's have the heart to overcome that right now!! You won't give in to your partner or yourself for the rest of your life!