I'm wondering if I should have an abortion. I'm 10 weeks pregnant.

I became pregnant with his (28 years old) child whom I had been in a relationship for 5 months.

However, he is quick to say things that deny his personality (I'm scum). I've been trying my best to fix my bad points, but I've been told over and over again about my way of saying and thinking, and even during the week my pregnancy was discovered, we talked on the phone for hours every day, getting tired, thinking about whether we could actually make up, and when I told them about it, we discussed it for hours. It was a repetition of saying that.

I felt tired, and when I told him that I would go down a new path, he told him that if you put it down, punch me in the stomach, write with one stroke if you put it down, or kill him. (I won't actually raise my hand)

He says he says that because he doesn't know until I say it.

He was bad when he was a teenager, had relationships with bad people, and apparently did things that wouldn't be strange if caught (not right now).

I may not be able to get pregnant anymore in terms of age, and abortions are a pity for children.
After talking to him over and over again, his words are bad, but there are places where I understand his feelings, and I'm so worried that I don't know if it's better to start over with him.

Most people around me tell me to give up because they won't make me happy.

However, I don't know what kind of person I'll meet next after breaking up with him, and there may be a different test from him. I don't know if I'll be happy.
Age is also age, and since I underwent surgery for uterine fibroids in March this year, and it is said that it will recur in 2 years, there is also a deadline for getting pregnant.
So even if you discuss it with him and try as hard as you can. There is also an idea.
I also think that if a child is born, they will be cute. He also says he likes children and wants them to give birth to them.

One concern is how to raise him if he gives birth, but since it's his child, how he will grow up.

I think it's different as a person to get pregnant based on your own reckless judgment and think about an abortion for selfish reasons, but if you break up with him, you don't have the confidence to raise a child alone, and I also think it's better to choose a new path now for yourself and your child.

I've reached week 10, and even though I'm worried, I don't know which one is better.

Please, thank you for your feedback.
I'm sorry for the long ramble.

3 Zen Responses

I want to respect your decision.

Right now, the first thing I want you to think about is your own body. What about morning sickness? Aren't you feeling tired or lazy? In the early stages of pregnancy, even though you are particularly sensitive, it's hard to be noticed by others, so responding to changes in your physical condition is delayed. Be careful not to overdo it yourself. I'm worried when I think that they are worrying about the future alone while having a difficult physical condition.

Women are always aware that the present may be the limit in terms of age when it comes to harboring life, isn't it? So it's natural to worry and get lost.
However, it is also necessary to be prepared to shoulder the child's life. Can we count on him? Also, are there people who understand or cooperate around you?
Of course, there will be people who will support you no matter how much you want from now on. But I have to anticipate the situations I can think of right now.
No one knows what's ahead, but it has been decided that there is a responsibility and obligation to become a parent (who is already a parent) and raise them.
So let's have a thorough discussion with him.

Either way, I want to respect your decision. No matter which one you turn out. Once you've made up your mind, let's live peacefully until that day arrives. After all, your body is the best.

According to Buddhism, abortion is not recommended...

Mikoto-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

Is it week 10... when I looked it up, it seems that until the 12th week of pregnancy is the due date for one abortion, and when it comes to that point, there isn't much time left, and it's a place where you want to avoid senseless exchanges where you get emotional with each other...

I wonder if we can't have a calm and positive discussion with both parents...

Also, once, even if it means listening to the opinions of a third party or expert, I think it's okay to consult with a specialized office, such as the following.

Consultation desk for pregnancy SOS and pregnancy and childbirth
http://ninshin-sos.jp/sos1/

From here on, I'll talk about him as a monk, but in terms of Buddhism, a monk cannot recommend an abortion.

However, I am seriously aware that there are circumstances that should be taken into account in each case.

Anyway, no matter which decision you make, I would be grateful if you could look forward and make an effort to accumulate a little bit of merit without making any regrets.

Also, if an abortion is to be performed, please kindly arrange a memorial service for that child.

I wish you happiness.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

“Apology”

Since the sentences I posted quoted Buddhist scriptures, treatises, ancestral records, etc. and did not specify the legal theory beforehand, the content of the answers was advice that placed a specific emphasis on popular values different from Buddhism.
There was a possibility that this answer would hinder people studying Buddhism, so I deleted all of the answers without permission.

Instead, I would like to give you a brief overview of Buddhism here.

“Buddhism”
There are a wide variety of approaches to Buddhism and its practices, but what lies beyond that path is liberation.

In Mahayana Buddhism, Buddhism begins when the Bodhi Heart appears to that person, many reincarnations are repeated, and while meeting many masters and Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, all of that person is dedicated through a long period of ascetic practice, and the Bodhisattva mind is revealed there.
From the beginning of the path, people are guided by the Bodhi Heart and arrive at liberation, and what they realize there is also the Bodhi Heart.

At the beginning of the road, personal bodhicitta, which was a desperate and pure desire to seek freedom from one's own suffering, eventually engraves indomitable will and devotion backed by prayers to save all beings into that person, and an impersonal bodhisattva is released.
People who walk the path to such bodhisattvas are called bodhisattvas, and the source of a bodhisattva's will, faith, and driving force is bodhisattva, which is realized during liberation.
On the road where the Bodhisattva walks, a wide variety of ascetic practices appear, which are the cause of insight, liberation, and complete fulfillment as a Buddha that continues beyond that.
The path of Japanese Buddhism also originates from this road, so all paths come back to that.

It is said that that person's path is a walk opened and led by an encounter with a sakuza, who is that person's true mentor, and a reunion with a law friend who walked the path while a long time ago.
I hope there will be no obstacles to the encounter and progress of Pukamiko-sama.

I hope for this merit
Universal for everything
We and sentient beings
Minakyosei Buddhism

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