Mother is disqualified

I yell at my 3 year old daughter every day
It's regular, but there are times when I get pretty angry at my daughter.
They don't eat food and only eat snacks, hit the baby's younger brother, behave badly and try to do something with their legs
When I do something I definitely want them to stop doing, etc., they yell at me and get angry.
It usually ends there, but once you get into a bad cycle, your daughter will keep getting angry the whole time about her next move.
The best thing is not to get angry, but no matter what, I get angry in a loud voice.
I want to be quiet and have a big heart like a monk, but what should I do to stop my anger at children?
Is there a way I can do it when I'm in a hurry?

There was a period where I couldn't ask questions, so now I'm getting out of a bit of a bad cycle...
When that time comes again, I cry with my daughter due to self-loathing.

3 Zen Responses

If number one is no good

I think what an older sister wants is her mother's attention. When nothing happens, when you don't need to get angry, don't you just leave them alone? It seems that when you drop down at age 3, the thought “your mother will be taken” will be born. I don't know if it's smaller, and I'm convinced if it's bigger. It's exactly in the middle, isn't it?
So, baby (?) When they're sleeping, I'll call you from here and give you a tight hug. Like a picture book by Yoko Imoto. It used to be written somewhere, “Do it for 8 seconds.”
“It's best not to get angry,” but as the next best thing, pay attention to them as much as getting angry, or more than getting angry.
I'll say it again. When nothing happened, he said, “I'm watching you. Please tell them “it's important” with skinship. try it.

Let's start with ()

The thing called regular gets caught. Mental health is more influenced by our physical condition than we think. Maybe it has something to do with the body's cycle.

A friend (woman) of mine once said that it was hard because the days when she couldn't stand getting angry at work continued, so she was surprised when she tried zazen, which is traditional in the past, it just stopped. Zazen has the effect of regulating metabolism and brain endocrine substances. Women's bodies are sensitive to these changes, so it might be a good idea to go learn once.

By the way, I also have children, and even monks get annoyed all the time (laughs) One way to not let that annoy drag on is to accept myself as being frustrated. This is what a monk called Yoshihiro from the Edo period said.
“When you're in trouble, it's good to be in a disaster. It's good to get frustrated when you're frustrated. This is the secret to escaping disaster.”
(In times of disaster, disaster meets good weather. When it's time to die, it's good to die. (Yes, wait for this disaster in Myōhō)

Humans have evolved to be irritating. Even monks get annoyed, so it's fine.

Please take care of yourself,°.:. +°

Understood!

My child is currently
I'm a high school student and a middle school student

When children were small,
I'm also angry and self-loathing,
I almost drowned in waves of emotions
What made me cry because of pain
There were a lot of them.

though
When my kids were about 3 years old
When I think back

What is that time
I've been extremely busy! (>_<)

Spend that period seriously
Don't be frustrated
I don't think that's possible.

When I think about it now
Who am I when I'm frustrated
I was in a state where I had lost myself.

The child in front of me
React to the events that are happening

What about myself
Leave it alone...

When you're in a daze,
What I definitely want you to try

“Focus on yourself”
That's it.

I'm mad now

I'm tired

help... (>_<)

To myself like that
Notice it
Cherish it.

If you save yourself
Strangely enough, the problem itself disappears.

Mother's happiness
Happy for kids too ^^

The mother herself
May you be happy (*^_^*)

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