About the Journey to Find Yourself

I read it.

Breaking up with him left a huge hole in my heart, and things I hadn't been able to see from that hole until now,
I think they're confused because they can see things they weren't meant to see.

Maybe it's because of that confusion
I think a lot of things have been done to desperately try to change myself

Then Mimura's sense of loneliness, anxiety, and impatience will not subside, but will grow.

I like one person too.
In terms of time, I spend 4 days a week alone lol
But there are days when I want to talk to someone and eat with my friends.
Somehow I feel so lonely. There is also a day called that.
If my schedule fits, I'll go to dinner, but when it doesn't fit, I just
I'm going to do one cup per person while enjoying the loneliness lol

This is the heart. It changes like the weather.

If you forcibly hold it down or put a lid on it by pretending not to see it
On the other hand, it's painful.

“I like one person, but I'm lonely ~, it's selfish ~ my heart.”
Let's just accept it without holding it down.

This is the first step in getting to know yourself, and it's the most important thing in dealing with yourself.

Mimura's solo trip too
With this feeling,
I want everyone to go without holding everything down or turning a blind eye.

Then I think it will be a wonderful trip.

Hello.
Saying goodbye to him was a turning point, wasn't it? However, even if you try to fill that sense of loss with something else, it won't fill up. Blaming something else (friends/hobbies) for not being filled up would be another.

It is necessary to sublimate feelings that are not buried within oneself. I think traveling “as a means” is one way. However, as is called a “journey to find yourself,” this does not mean that you can find your true self while traveling.
No matter how far I go, I am myself. That's because I'm the one who is traveling.

* Rarely, there is a pattern of young people who backpacker etc. to India as a “trip to find themselves,” and open a guest house or something locally, but what they found at that time was not their “true self,” but probably “rewarding,” “purpose of life,” and “place to stay.”

Well, after all, I'm the one who ends up being myself. If that's the case, what am I for? It goes against the proposition.
Exactly what you said is the question “What is the meaning of my existence and purpose of life, and what do I want to do?”

How does Buddhism respond to that question? There are many expressions, but I wonder if this kind of answer will probably be

“There is no such thing as myself in the first place.” “There is no meaning.” “There is no purpose.”

Don't you think it's interesting? It means that what I was looking for wasn't there originally. But it's not nihilism, it's “empty.” It's “0 -zero-.”

There is no “0” in numbers. A number that includes the possibility of any change, negative or positive. Since there is nothing, anything can be born from there.

It's a donut hole. A hole in a doughnut can exist as a hole only because the body of the doughnut is there, but in reality, it is no different from air. Of course, we think of ourselves as our own person, but in fact, we are in a hole. It exists as a hole only when there is a body (the origin of various conditions such as space, earth, parents, environment, etc.). In other words, it's zero.

Please stand at zero base, Mr. Mimura, and look at the “now,” where something that isn't there can be, and then look at yourself.

At such times, there may come a moment where relationships with friends, etc. around you, your hobbies, and even yourself seem different from what they used to be.

Hello, Mimura. That's smiling. I also traveled alone to India for 5 months just 30 years ago when I was 24, so I feel like I understand Mimura's feelings very well. You will meet a lot of people during your upcoming trip, and you will receive many words. There are words that are sometimes inspiring, and sometimes depressing. As I continue my journey then, my soul responds. I can hear the voice of my heart. Please cherish the voice of that heart.
Please listen to my words from my trip 30 years ago, which are embarrassing.

I think I'll stop it if it's this hard
But my true self won't forgive me
So let's try a little harder

Young people are doing great! Wrestle with yourself!

I've never been on a “journey to find myself.” Because “myself” is here.
If you really want to face yourself, rather than traveling and leaving your everyday life,
As we go through the same days as always, I think we should go little by little.
While you want someone to be by your side, someone you can forgive, or someone you love,
Dependence on others is unstoppable.
They say they like one person, but if that's the case, the person who will be by their side
You probably won't need it.
Actually, rather than liking one person,
Maybe they just don't want to get hurt by meeting people.

What I can do for others, and
What you can do for your family and those around you, what you can do for society,
While searching for what a nation can do and what the world can do,
I think I'm living a fulfilling day.

In the meantime, people gathered around me.
People gather around people who have plenty of time alone.
Also, I wonder what people around me can do
I think life is about thinking about it over and over again.

Please find “myself.”
I'm sure they'll be right around the corner.

What am I living for?
I try not to think too much about it.
That's because I feel like there are no answers.
Since it is a world where various actions are impermanent, I think I am also an entity that changes day by day, so my purpose of life also changes day by day.
Sleep when you feel sleepy, wake up when morning comes, eat when you're hungry, recite sutras if you have time, nembutsu, preach when there's someone you want to listen to, and make a memorial service if you have any misfortune.
That's all.
I wonder if that's my role.

Traveling to find yourself is good, but no matter where you go, you are yourself, so if there are times when you get lost, please face your current role.
Good luck doing what you can right now.