How a sense of vengeance doesn't develop

Life would be easy if you could give wisdom to solve your problems by consulting with a monk about your life, but really nobody wants to live a life decided by someone else. Humans only become their own when they acquire everything themselves. People who are consulted on this site are not saved by being helped by monks, but rather receive hints for finding ways to solve problems that they are satisfied with themselves. I suffer because I don't want to live as others say.
You also seem to be a person who thinks a lot, so please take a look at yourself from a distance. Please look at your written consultation with someone else's eyes, feel like a monk, think about how you would respond, and write an exemplary answer.
You are the one who knows the best about your personality's strengths and weaknesses, so you should be able to write an answer. If you can objectively view yourself, you'll be able to graduate from something called revenge as a low-headed, humble person. Try adding meta-recognition to practice.

Matsuko-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Maybe it doesn't mean that my ex has a bad crime or fault in particular...

In order to get rid of the “sense of revenge,” the humiliating practice of enduring is the basis of Buddhist counteraction.

From “Words of Encouragement: Udanavarga” (translated by Nakamura Hajime), Iwanami Bunko, Chapter 14, “Hatred”...

“Actually, in this world, if you repay your grudge with grudge, your grudge will never go away at last. By enduring it, resentment takes hold. This is an eternal truth.”

“A grudge will never subside depending on the grudge. The state of resentment will be calmed by the absence of grudge. It is acknowledged that appearing one after another as a result of resentment is unhelpful. Therefore, people who know sayings don't make grudges.”

Furthermore, in Buddhism, it is recommended that people who have a grudge not only be patient and get rid of that grudge, but also apply mercy to those who do such things due to anguish and ignorance (fundamental ignorance), and that they want to help them in some way.

Anyway, they “hate sin and don't hate people,” and ignorance has caused that person to do bad things. Ignorance is like a bad virus. Ignorance is the real enemy we hate. It's like losing to a bad virus, suffering from a fever, and being in agony.

If a sense of revenge inevitably develops, try showing mercy to them along with compassion for foolishness due to ignorance, as well as a feeling of mercy that they want to save that person.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Vengeance and anger are causes of stress, so it must be quite painful.
There is a “mercy meditation” on the website of the Japan Therawada Buddhist Association, so why not try it out?

Also, in your mind, try to spend less time feeling vengeful.
Try to think about something else as quickly as possible.

As a test, let's count the number of times we thought about that in a day from morning to night.
Record the number of times in a memo or something.
They switch their mind from a sense of revenge to the task of recording.
Anger may weaken once you realize you're angry.
By keeping records, you may notice yourself.

I read it. That kind of heart happens, doesn't it? I used to think that way too and curse it.

Please pray at the temple. I think my temple would be fine too.

And please face the Buddha.

Then simply hit the wooden fish and enjoy the nembutsu.

Please just lie back and forth.

The flame in your heart will surely abate.

And one day there will come a time when it will completely disappear.