How to tell a toddler about the death of a relative?

Osakana-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of my father-in-law. I sincerely pray for your peace of mind.

Explanation to young grandchildren... I sincerely apologize for your concern in the midst of grief.

It's today's wake, so I don't have much time, so to put it simply...

“○○-chan and Jiji are going on an excursion to Hoke-sama no Kuni. Like a kindergarten, Hoke-sama no Kuni has lots of teachers and friends, and it's a fun place. We'll be saying goodbye for a while, but if ○○-chan is much smarter, I'm sure we'll be able to meet my first father in Hoke's Country again. Please stay firm for today and tomorrow, and I'll see you off.”

As a supplement... I would appreciate it if you could also add, “My father will be pleased if you continue to do nothing bad and stay smart.” I'm sorry for being so half-hearted.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

Osakana-sama
Tonight is the wake, so I'll reply as soon as possible.

There are often small children at wake funerals. When you're around 3 years old, you'll be in high tension when you meet people you wouldn't normally meet, and you may laugh, but don't be scolded.
(In rare cases, there are children who feel the atmosphere and keep quiet.)

In any case, I don't think I can clearly understand “death of a person.”
However, I think it is important for mental growth when relatives gather, feel a different atmosphere than usual, and see adults who don't usually cry shed tears.

Also, I saw them recuperating, and it is said that they met the day before they passed away, so please tell them without hiding it too much as you said. If possible, I would be happy if you could be present to raise your bones.

How can I tell you, but if I were you, “Jiji went to Hoke-sama's country. They say, “I can't have them play with me or talk to them anymore, but they worry about ◎◎ the whole time and watch me.”

This is my father-in-law's life class.
Please accept it, not just children, but everyone.

FYI...
“Buddha's Country” Kaneko Misuzu

If you're going to the same place,
Who is Mibutsu-sama better than
I like them.

The flowers of those nice kids,
Let everyone listen to a good song
With birds being shot at with guns
If you're going to the same place.

If you're going to the Chigafu area,
Where we go
It's my best cousin.

When it comes to my cousin who takes one step
they can't go to us.

That's because it's farther than China,
That's because it's taller than the stars.

Wouldn't it be best to let them feel the atmosphere of the scene itself without trying to force them to convince them from the beginning?
What is more important is for parents to stay close to the person who died, put their heart into it, and work hard to reveal the sincerity of the memorial service.
Priority will just be given to children, and it seems that caring for children will take center stage over goodbye, but I think tonight's wake and tomorrow's farewell ceremony will be a good idea for the couple to firmly face those who have passed away. With that alone, I think they can somehow sense the atmosphere in a child's way.

If “What happened to Jiji?” “Where did they go?” If asked, I think it would be nice if you could face it honestly and tell your child until they are satisfied.
If you paraphrase the death of a person for a child,
・I think it's a good idea to tell them that they went back to their ancestors · were born in the Buddha's world · became a star · left for the Pure Land of Paradise · passed away to someone who had already passed away · Buddha welcomed them, etc.
However, I think it is necessary for parents to correctly understand “what is death” without making it vague so that they can answer properly when asked for an explanation.
By properly and correctly conveying the truth, let's say there will be no more worries and fears about death.

Namandabutsu.

Osaka-sama.

How about using picture books as a means for children to grasp images?
“Grandpa's Little Girl”
“Gifts you can't forget,” etc.

You may not be able to meet a living deceased person anymore,
The memories of those involved are not reset along with the death of the deceased.
My heart will stay.

Right now, we may be in the midst of extraordinary ceremonies such as a farewell ceremony or a return to the bone, but I think an opportunity to look back will suddenly come.
At that time, “Where were you?” is also important
I hope it is also important for you to share “with your thoughts” what “life with my grandfather” was like.

I hope Jiji will continue to be one of the children's supports even if they don't meet him anymore.

To Osakana-sama
Once again, I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of my father-in-law. I sincerely pray for your peace of mind.
How about after that?
The response was late, and I would be honored if you could take a look at it for reference only.

By the age of 3, I think I already understand a lot of things.
What's more, people I had a lot of relationships with during my lifetime.
I think it's important to tell them that they passed away as they were.

Recently, I hear that there has been an increase in the number of parents who don't want to show their children places where people die.
However, it is a very valuable experience to think about one's existence and life
It's an opportunity not something you can experience over and over again, even if it's a small child
I want them to experience it. Gassho