Please tell me how to have a heart to shake off past regrets

We think about everything with our heads. And I often misunderstand it as if it were a reality. This creates trouble and suffering.

We recommend zazen under a monk who can talk about Zen.

It must be painful to be swayed by something that has no actual reality called regret. Look up at the sky in a quiet, natural setting and breathe lots of pleasant air.

If your feelings have left you now, try to get them back. You don't have to think you're bad. It's practice. The number of comfortable times is gradually increasing.

If you treat your child with unconditional love and acknowledge them, I'm sure they'll understand someday.

I also practice training every day. It's not easy, but you're not alone. Let's work hard together.

appending

Good parents set an ideal of something like this, and when compared to that ideal image, they think they are no good.

Don't compare it to anything. You should try to convey your love in your own way. Everyone loves themselves. I believe that to love yourself is to love others. Don't say you're no good, love yourself. I think a sense of mercy will sprout of its own accord.

Nice to meet you, Kingyo.
My name is Nakamura Taishaku, the temple of Dharma and ceiling paintings in Tokushima Prefecture.

There are times when you regret raising children, and even if you wish to accept the children you have now as they are, your regrets won't come first.
Even if you know that Kingyo should do it, you can feel the pain of not being able to do it from between the lines.

I think it's a good idea to stop when you can't.
However, there is nothing you can do about it if you just stop forever. Kobo Daishi Kukai also later said that when he lost his own path, he shed tears unbeknownst to others.

Now, what should we stop and do?
I recommend writing it out on paper. Write on A4 size paper one thing that Kingyo-san regrets about raising children. Using this as the title, I'll list the reasons I regret it. Please keep writing until you finish what you regret about raising Kingyo's children.

When you've finished writing, shred everything. Your heart should feel a little lighter.
If you think it's still not enough, do it as many times as you like.

Once you feel refreshed, make up your mind to “let's not do the same thing” and take a step forward.
I'm sure you'll see a different world.

May the world of compassion expand where parents and children can be considerate of each other.

Kingyo

On the spot on the spot
Trying to break up and think
Realistically, I think it's an important response.

However, regrets
Tell you what to do
I think they're trying to tell you.

Also, anxiety
The fact that one's own existence is not being accepted
I think they're teaching

Make sure you didn't have any regrets or anxiety
What does it mean to think about the present and the future
I don't think it's a real solution.

Regrets come from getting involved with children
I think they're coming

So why did they get involved with children like that
What on earth do you feel uneasy about

Kingyo and myself
What kind of childhood did you have

Denying oneself
Instead of affirming

Please ask questions.

it might make you feel bad
Facing anxiety in the long run
I think it's important.

Kingyo

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

I was able to take a look at how worried you are about regrets about things in the past.

We are troubled and tormented when we inevitably cause various kinds of attachment to the past. I still haven't been able to completely get rid of my humble life.

Also, in a sense, being caught up in the past is unavoidable. This is because my past and present self are connected, and of course there is an inseparable relationship.

However, since things from the past have already passed, there is nothing I can do about it anymore, and my past self is just my past self, not my current self. My present self is the only person I remember about the past, and the self that imagines the future is only my current self.

From here on, it becomes a bit of a difficult way of thinking, but I think that my past and present self are “not the same,” and “not the same, they are not different,” and they are simply continuous beings according to auspicious circumstances (causal relationships, etc.), and in any case, I think that what can be said to exist is only an instantaneous moment in this continuity. This has also been addressed in the following question as an “unequal theory of time.”

Question “Tips for living only the present moment strongly”
http://blog.livedoor.jp/hasunoha_kawaguchi/archives/1002967103.html

I think it would be nice if you could understand the above little by little from now on, and realize, “Oh, my existence is nothing more than a series of moments of the present moment by moment,” and if the past is in the past and there is something to be regretted, ashamed, or reflected on, then just adjust it so that it can be utilized as much as possible, towards good future results, and anyway, in this “present”, make an effort to adjust good causes (causes and conditions) I'm wondering if there aren't any.

I pray for good deeds.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho