Disagreement with the eldest son

Taniyama-sama

Concerns about raising children. It's not going the way parents want it, is it?

Parents always wish their children to be like this or that, and they think too strongly, sometimes they become intrusive, and try to communicate with emotion.

Since they were little, children have been great green beans. Being scolded for emotion and saying, “Why are you doing this!! The words “(I don't really want to hear the reason)” make me lose my sense of self-affirmation.

When I imagine it from Taniyama-sama's story, I feel like my son is in great trouble and distress. They're probably holding something that doesn't make them feel refreshed.

I think it would be good for Taniyama-sama to treat her son with compassion. You've made me suffer until now. That was hard. I wasn't able to ask them to talk to you. I'm sorry. Mom, I will help you from now on. I think your mother is on your side.

Too loud! They may show such an attitude, but please don't give up on it and keep delivering love.
I'm sure it will get through someday.

However, when we do something wrong as a human being, I think we have to say it.

I don't think child-rearing results come out right away. I'm sure my son will understand his mother's love when he becomes an adult.

Taniyama-sama
It seems like raising children is going through a lot of trouble. I think it's a time when children are also worried a lot about entrance exams and future career paths.

Why don't you listen to your son's words and signals first?

Why did my son throw away his letter of encouragement?
→ Maybe it was a pressure or nuisance for my son.

Can you cut it off if you say small words
→ There may not be many people who reflect on being told small words.

My son also has a personality and is a human being. It's natural for people to have different thoughts and thoughts, and it's natural that things don't go the way parents think.

If you want to improve your relationship with your son in the future, I think the first step is to face and listen to his words.

I want it to be like this. As a parent, it's natural for me to want that. It's important to work hard, but it's also important not to try too hard. If you do everything at your own pace, don't overdo it, and patiently face it, I'm sure you'll be able to see the future.

What I don't like being done to others is still disgusting to my parents.
I don't feel good when someone interferes with me this and that.
It's the same for parents and children.
Controlling others the way you want is impossible from the beginning.
Trying to do something impossible can cause stress.
“Don't bother your parents” is a parent's ego.
It would be nice if “let's not cause trouble to people.”
When it comes to how to treat children, after all, they should be treated calmly, without getting angry, and being polite.
If you direct anger, anger will come back from your partner too.
You should be kind and polite to the extent that you treat your close neighbors without expecting anything in return, and that's fine if they live safely.

[Everyone makes mistakes. Whether it's the eldest son or the eldest daughter, it's a “way to raise a first child.”
It was the first child they were given, and since parents are raising children for the first time, they impose their own rules “this is fine,” and they make mistakes in how to raise them.] From Kakugen Sayings “Shoho Genzo: Child-rearing Volume”

Children are things that grow up.
Think of it as if it's already out of your hands.
As a parent, I have a desire to do this, want to be like this, I want it to be like this, I want it to be like that, and that desire is almost a parent's ego.

A parent's brilliance, abandonment, clarity, and good eyesight save children.
You can't do it because you just demand it from children.
Let's start improving our self-spirit to the point where children say, “You've changed your mom, you've become great.”

Incidentally, the first words have a continuation.
“... and thinking that they have failed in raising their own children is the gaze of parents who have already privatized their children. Why should I say it failed? It's just that it didn't go the way I wanted, it wasn't convenient. In other words, the child did not fail, it was just that their ego failed, only that they were disappointed in themselves, and from the beginning, children were independent from their parents. Parents are people who support it, not nurture them.”

I think your ideals have hurt your child the most.
Even now, let's direct that energy towards our own attitude, which we demand from children.
It's dry, but the results speak for themselves.
Let's focus on imposing our own demands.