Is child-making a parent's ego?

I came up with the idea that it wasn't my parents' ego that I was born in the first place.
My parents have an arranged marriage. The two found a partner through matchmaking, even though I don't know why, whether it's for financial reasons, or if they just want children or a family. It's certainly not a love marriage.
So the question arises as to why the parents wanted children. I hear it takes tens of millions, or even hundreds of millions, to raise a child. I don't know why they wanted kids until they spent so much money on matchmaking and went out of their way to find a partner.
I thought about it, but the only reason I could think of was that people with children were clearly visible, and they would be cared for in the future.
However, in the end, I thought this might mean that children are made for what parents want, and that children are attached to it.
“I'm not asking you to give birth” is a word that is likely to be used by children in the height of their rebellious period, but in other words, I have that kind of thought. (I guess he's already a pretty good age...)
I think I'm one of those people who took good care of myself. I am blessed to be able to go all the way to college with proper clothing, food, and shelter. There are only grudges that should be given back. However, the idea that “making children is the parent's ego” that suddenly came to mind was fuzzy and unavoidable.
I was created to fulfill my parents' wishes. Meanwhile, children who were dropped off because of what is commonly called an “unwanted pregnancy” were also affected by their parents' egos. Children always seem to be swayed by their parents. Why do humans make children? After all, is the principle the same as animals that instinctively leave offspring?

(As I wrote, many thoughts came to mind, and the sentences became disorganized, sorry.)

4 Zen Responses

Respect for life

I think it's a natural feeling to want to meet a partner, have a family, and have children

I think thinking of children as “something that makes” is ego.

The essence of the problem

worship

The reason people make children is full of countless factors, such as pure love, hope, loneliness, praying for the prosperity of descendants, sense of duty, pleasure, and causal relationships that continue from previous lives, and it is impossible to say unequivocally.

The soul reincarnates. Speaking from this teaching method, it can also be said that our souls themselves have already “themselves” chosen our lives in this world at the time of our previous lives, under the influence of our own actions in previous lives.

Buddhism is just a teaching for living well, so we thoroughly seek self-responsibility. Blaming someone is bad for life, but it can't be good. In other words, “blaming someone else” positions this as a misdemeanor called a complaint.

The essence of the problem isn't whether it's ego or not; isn't it because you and your parents don't currently understand each other's thoughts?

As I said before, you need to accept everything in your life as your own responsibility. The first step in this is to make your own choices. Living as parents say doesn't necessarily mean living well. Also, if you make a choice while asking about your parents' complexion, you are creating the cause of your own suffering.

Again, life is not necessarily freedom, but we must not blame anyone's choices at any time, and we must strongly choose and carve out a path to live well on our own in any case.

Gassho

Let's ask your parents.

I read it.

Your thoughts are your thoughts. They've come all the way together, so why don't you ask your parents?

Why did you get married?
If it was matchmaking, how was it after getting married?
Why was I born?

I think it's also important for parents and children to talk about that.
Even if a child is born out of the parent's ego, the child has the right to live freely with the child's ego. It's not going the way I want it to. Children are swayed by parents, parents are swayed by children...

It may be your ego to think “after all, children are made for what parents want, and children are attached to it.”

From now on, there will be times when you fall in love in your life and you will be able to see it. I don't understand what I don't understand even if I think Let's ask the parents of seniors close to you about what you don't understand right now.

I don't know how your parents would respond,

When I received you, I'm sure you were indescribably moved, happy, and terrified, tightened, and shuddered again.

From that emotion, “why?” How about the road that surpasses, the fact of life? will you live? I think that path will open up.

Even taking a breath is ego

It may be fair to say that all the activities of living things are egos.
Even taking a breath probably comes from an ego that wants to protect the “me” of “I don't want to die” and “I want to be alive.”
That's probably the case when they give birth to children.
Also, the reason they are born as children is probably because they have egos.
Buddhism assumes reincarnation.
When you died in a previous life, even a small amount of ego remained, so you had the potential to be reincarnated into a new creature, and you stayed with your current parents.
There was an innate ego not only on the parents' ego, but also on the baby's side.
So what happens when we really lose our ego?
If you really lose your ego, you'll probably be completely satisfied with living.
Once you're satisfied, you don't need to live any longer, so when your life in this world is over, you free yourself from reincarnation and graduate from being a living thing.
It's the Japanese word for “attaining Buddhism.”
You, me, and your parents are a bunch of egos that haven't “attained the Buddha.”
It's okay, just like we are, both of us.
For now, let's just forgive and be merciful.

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