A child who doesn't want to work hard

Please give me some advice on children who dropped out of art colleges and become ronin preparation for the entrance exam next spring.

When I take the university entrance exam, the reason is simply because college graduates get a better salary than high school graduates to get a job, and “I don't listen to that, even if I talk about that, even if I can't say such a thing.” I had almost no intention of studying, and when I was in high school, I only played music, so if I enter a university I can go to with my current academic ability even though I don't have any academic ability, I can spend my time at university easily without trying too hard,
I think even people who have graduated from such universities have some kind of employment. I can't listen to my parents even when they say that it's even a little better for getting a job and that they should do their best from now on.

I listen carefully to the story if I don't respect the person's opinion so as not to impose my parents' ego from the advice given in the previous consultation, and I try not to make small remarks. This is the result of talking about thinking about various things for yourself.

Even though they stopped living alone, they seemed tired of making ends meet with their personal surroundings and living expenses.
They wanted them to live alone, and with three children, they fulfilled their wishes within a household budget that was by no means easy, and even though they entered the university of their choice with high tuition fees, they quit easily, and now they want to go on to a university for almost playtime purposes, to what extent do parents have to respect the opinions of their children?

Below is a twin, elementary 6.
I have to leave school fees for those kids too.
What should I do?
I myself spend a desperate day studying for qualification tests to change jobs, and working and housework.

4 Zen Responses

Why don't we just talk about it as it is and set up a place for family meetings?

Why don't you talk about the state of household finances, your thoughts so far, and future prospects as they are, and set up a place for a family meeting with your husband?

What does the son himself want to do after that?

What does Tanyama-san, your husband want to do?

Why don't you listen to their opinions

If my son really wants to go on to college, there may be a scholarship or a way to earn his own tuition fees...

After listening to their son's story, do Taniyama-san and his wife want to continue providing financial support to their son? can you do it? Why don't you tell your son?

Probably... I think the first step in the solution is to clearly communicate the couple's opinions and household financial situation and have my son think about it!

On the condition that you work part-time

When I was in college, what helped me in my life along with my studies and club activities was my part-time job experience.
The fact that I was serving customers as a part-time job gave me confidence in job hunting.
There are also things you can gain from college life as life experiences.
So, if you can, you should go on to college.
There are also concerns about tuition fees, and I think it's better to make it a condition that you work part-time.

The only world where you can have fun and make money is a world of fraud

I don't think your child needs to go to college separately. The first reason for this is that the university that person makes it easy for them to enter will only corrupt that person. (*I'm not saying whether a university is good or bad. (Make sure there are no misunderstandings.) Also, if you are a college graduate, you can get a job where the salary is better than a high school graduate is also an illusion. Now it's time for all students to enter college. (This is clearly different from 20 years ago.) It's an age where everyone can go to college. However, there is a condition that any university is fine. This is the current situation, so the number of college graduates has increased, but for that reason, they cannot get a job with only a college graduate qualification (of course, college graduates are excellent qualifications), and there are also people looking for jobs due to part-time work.
By the way, we are now in an age where everyone can enter college, but if you go to college, tuition costs at least 4 years. How many years will it take as a college graduate to earn that tuition fee? In this case, it is the amount of money you can save, excluding living expenses, etc. (That's because living expenses are incurred whether you go to college or not.) I recommend that you try the trial calculation once. According to what I heard a long time ago (about 20 years ago), depending on the occupation, college graduates finally surpass high school graduates in their mid-forties.
Well, even so, if your child wants to go on to college, why don't you let your son pay the tuition fees? At least, if you're not studying for the entrance exam right now, it's probably useless if you let them work part-time and not use that part-time fee to tuition fees. The only story about making money by having fun is the world of fraud.
If you agree with my idea, please share these stories with your child.

If the person takes the wrong path, the person himself knows best

By being dependent on parents, children only think “they should get it from their parents,” so they don't try to create their own.
Therefore, it's about revealing the financial circumstances of the house to the point where it is revealed, and make them think about earning money by thinking with their own head.
It's not an explanation from parents that we can't just play anymore, or that we have to stand on our own feet, people won't change until they stick to the facts and are keenly aware of it.
Sometimes it's not about paying attention, it's really about begging and asking.

Q: How far do parents have to respect their children's opinions when they wish to go on to college for mostly playful purposes this time around?
➡ It's not about respect, it's just about saying that I listened to the child's selfishness.
Children don't grow up spoiled for the rest of their lives because of the pattern where parents are complicit in children's selfishness. Parents are indirectly complicit.
Even if you can't help it because kids are cute, if you think they're really cute, don't make them take comfort and make them walk the path of a bad person, and if you don't make them think that this is no good, they can't stay like a human, they won't change.
The questioner himself must first prepare to leave his children in order to seek freedom from child worries.
Child worries are literally bothered by feelings about children.
Why are you bothered?
I think it's because the desire to make them do this comes first.
Parental duties are about to graduate.
There is a time limit, and I think we should limit it to the extent of supporting the departure of the nest just a little bit with the feeling of sending it out.

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