I'm full of anxiety about work and love.

Hello.
I'm anxious about everything right now, and I'm afraid every day.

On the work side, I'm at a loss about how to teach my juniors because I'm in the position of a superior person. I'm 3 years apart from my juniors who are new graduates, but since I'm close in age, I don't really think of me as a senior.
I'm a senior from my manager, so I can say more and more! It is said, but when I look at juniors who become extremely grumpy when I'm careful, there are parts that overlap with my past self, so I can't say it strongly at all.
While teaching, it was a sales job, so I was exhausted because I had to think about store sales and my own sales.

Also, in terms of romance, there is a man I met at work, and his company was bought out, and he quit around summer.
I've gone out to dinner with that guy several times in the past, and we didn't talk for a while because I conveyed my feelings, but my quitting was the trigger, and I sent the last email to use it as an opportunity to really give up on him, but I was invited by him and went to dinner again.
In an email, he said, “I don't know what you think right now, but I was happy that you liked him. At that time, I couldn't afford it. I just wanted time to talk properly.” I was told.
We lost contact again after we went out to eat, but just the day before yesterday (about 3 months have passed since we went out to eat), he came to work for a moment.
It ended up being about what I saw, but it looks like he's going back to his parents' house in Kyushu.
When I went out to eat, they told me that if I were going back, I might be back around October, but I was at a loss and didn't know if I would go back, but people around me told me the fact that I would be back soon.
Maybe that's why I came to work to say my last greeting.
Frankly speaking, I like him. But I don't understand his ambiguous attitude, so I can't say anything.
I don't want to get hurt again, and I don't want to be depressed. But I like it, but I may not be in Tokyo anymore.
Kyushu is so far away that it's hard to meet them. Why don't you try contacting people around you? They say, I don't have the courage, and if contacting him is annoying, I want to kill his feelings and fall in love with others.
I really love it and it's irresistible. It's painful.

1 Zen Response

Adaptability over avoidance

Whether at work or in love

“Don't cause trouble”

Let's stop thinking that. Of course, that in itself is an important point of view. It doesn't mean you don't have to think about it at all. However, when humans live, it causes trouble. If you think too much, you won't be able to move.

If I had to say something a little harsher

Thoughts such as “I don't want to cause trouble” or “I don't want to make you feel bad” are actually thinking about the other person

“If I'm bothered, I'll be told and hurt myself”
“If I get a bad face, I wonder if it was my fault.”

Like that, it may be a defensive reaction because you want to protect yourself.

Speaking of work, if you're already a few years older, you know that there were times when you felt bad at the time, but there was meaning in being scolded.
Speaking of love, if getting contacted by someone you don't like is annoying, you won't be able to get in touch unless you are sure of both feelings.

Even if the other person feels bothered, it's important to communicate your thoughts and what kind of intentions you have in your actions.
On top of that, if you cause more trouble to your partner than necessary, you may have to apologize.

However, there is no real growth if you are afraid of such friction. If you read Hasunoha's questions and answers, you'll understand very well that suffering is inevitable in life.

Life, old age, illness, death, love and suffering, unrequited hardships, grudge, hate, and suffering... this world is full of unavoidable suffering.

If so, the defense power you really need to survive is not evasion, but adaptability!

You can't escape the rain of suffering even if you avoid all kinds of contact so as not to get hurt as much as possible.
No one wants to avoid raindrops when it rains, right? What is needed is not the ability to avoid, but adaptability to be able to make decisions such as holding an umbrella or taking shelter from the rain. Patience that can endure getting wet even when it's wet.
In other words, it is the ability to adapt, such as the ability to accept suffering, a heart to accept it, and the ability to accept it.

Now, don't be afraid and let's socialize more and more. Get used to it rather than learn!

Why don't you start by contacting him?

We are always looking forward to seeing you again if anything happens.

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