Will I be able to relax when I die

In order to be hired as a full-time employee, I think it would be a very narrow gate if you don't have a workplace where you can make use of any qualifications or special skills, or if you don't have connections, or if you like your part-time work and get them to become a full-time employee.
Why don't you consider trying again as a nursery teacher, or doing a part-time job with the possibility of becoming a full-time employee?

If I die, I'll be freed from my current suffering and it will be easier.
But there might be someone out there who needs you. Maybe there's a job somewhere that needs you.
Unfortunately, that may not be a full-time employee. This may not be the type of job you want. Even so, I hope to do that job and live for someone else or to contribute to society.

appending
It is said that the body was broken, but why did it break? Is it a job you can't do so as not to break your body?
I used to be an office worker, and my wife was also an office worker, so I left my kids at preschool every day. The teachers have worked really hard, and I'm very impressed and grateful. However, I feel like none of the teachers had their bodies broken. Maybe I just don't know.
If you've come to feel really disgusted by children or their parents, I wouldn't force you to recommend it. However, if that's not the case, I thought it might be a good idea to look for a workplace with an environment that doesn't damage the body.

Also, even if you say it's a part-time job, it's not just about doing a part-time job; it's because you gain skills and experience. Since you can't suddenly become a full-time employee, I recommend that you gain skills and experience, and if possible, obtain qualifications that are useful in the type of job you want to do. For example, if you want to get an office job, I think it's advantageous to have bookkeeping or computer qualifications.

I've been working hard on job hunting until now, but it wasn't easy to decide. I've even thought about dying for it. But before that, I think there's still more we can do.

Not being hired is not a bad thing.
It's good for both of us. ('▽｀*)
That's because even if you force yourself to join that company, it's just hurting you. There are things that are not suitable.
It's not that I'm not suited to work. There is no such conclusion.
It's just that I'm not suited to do that job. I also did the job of Koriya, which is good for me 💀 a few times, and I quit right away. Hey, Japanese people who can say NO. (Don't say it yourself)
“It just so happened that I thought this company would be difficult for me to use, so they thought for me and the company and didn't force me to hire it, so I'm glad others were given the chance.” Let's think about it. ('▽｀*)
I'm still in my 20s when I'm close to death. Let's live another 80 years.
If you're going to die, it's a good idea to learn the essence of what you're doing before that.
What is the essence of what you do is that you live in a world of thoughts.
For example, light people only need “(..) good morning (*'▽ `*)” when greeting people.
People who live with thoughts and thoughts, and people who read backstories or are good at deep reading, make extra additions.
“(';') good morning (*'▽｀*)”
... that? I wonder if they didn't say hello to someone over there (';') right now, it felt bad... ('▽`;) did they do something bad? Speaking of which, I wonder if they still have their roots in those days... Mita Ku...
I think too much about superfluous things.
It's a way of life centered around thoughts.
The reason you yourself tend to be mentally ill, stop, and dark right now is because you live your life centered around thoughts.
If you're prepared to die, why don't you come to our temple's zazen session.
We are providing tips for a more comfortable life. I also told you how I was able to recover even though I thought I was going to die a long time ago.
Oh, I used to do positive thinking courses.
About 60% of people are saved by that, but even so, there are people who can't be saved.
There is a ㊙ back side lecture for people like that, so when I finally want to die, I'll visit a temple in Saitama to play. I like it, Ibaraki lotus root, natto, leeks, soba, Mito Komon ♡
Instead of overpainting your current self with something, there are ways to improve your best self.

I read it. You're having a really hard time not being able to decide on a job, aren't you? I understand your feelings.
I see... it's not going very well, is it? There is also a timing for encounters and compatibility... That's because only heaven can know about encounters.
I sincerely pray to God and Buddha that you will meet your characteristics and work in your field of expertise, be hired, grow through many people and experiences, and live a fulfilling life. I trust that you will definitely find great work.

Incidentally, it wasn't until I was 42 that I got my current job. It's a long way.
Still, it's from now on, so I think I'll do my best.

I sincerely hope that you will do your best too. And I support you from the bottom of my heart.

Miss

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

It's true that living is hard... Also, in this world, we often get lost and suffer... so it's natural to think that we want to get away from this world as soon as possible...

But... when it comes to solving something with it, Buddhism doesn't think so.

Everything is made up of causes and conditions, and changes.

If you leave bad causes and conditions, there is a risk that your next destination will also become known...

In particular, due to ignorance (fundamental ignorance) and worries caused by ignorance, bad causes and conditions, such as bad acts that have been piled up over the past generations, are not firmly changed to good causes and conditions, it will be difficult to move towards a good destination as a good result.

It is hoped that by adjusting good causes and conditions as much as possible, it will lead to worldly and temporary happiness and blessings in this life, and furthermore, efforts will be made to move away little by little from a world where people lose their way and suffer in the next life, the next life...

Little by little is fine, so I would be grateful if you could use this as an opportunity to further learn and practice Buddhism while also making efforts to adjust the good causes and conditions described in Buddhism.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho