I'm in the same industry (companion)

I read it. First of all, what is a funeral? Isn't it about leading those who are lost to the right path of the Buddha?
I think you will have the opportunity to share the Buddhist teachings you have learned through your ascetic practices to those who are living.
Certainly, the fact that people with relationships with people who are alive gather and say goodbye is probably part of that. There will also be various productions.
Our role as monks is to pass on the Buddha's teachings to people only.
Please check the sutras related to the funeral again.

I sincerely pray that you will lead that person safely to the path of the Buddha.

Please do your best through trial and error.

If it were me, I would refuse.
At the funeral, all attendees sing nembutsu for the deceased and pray for paradise death in place of the deceased. However, this is because if they are alive, only the person who is alive should recite Nembutsu.

It is good to have thorough discussions with relatives and funeral companies beforehand about what kind of funeral it will be, and I don't think there is any point in deciding who will attend. There's no guarantee that the people who attended were genuinely sad, right? There are probably people who attend because they think they'll be scolded later if they don't go because they're alive.

When it comes to conveying Buddhism, I think it would be better to hold a puja hosted by that person instead of a funeral during his lifetime, to convey Buddhism more clearly.

What you can do for your loved ones when you're alive now is more important than what your relatives do after you pass away, isn't that more important?

Good evening. That's an interesting question.
First, there is no such thing as “private answers.” However, some monks have made their personal profiles public, so it is possible to ask directly. The region is also nearby, and there may be people of the same denomination.
I am a member of the Jodo sect, and this sect has a retreat for family members called quintuplets. Also, I think most denominations hold religious orders. If such meetings are popular in the area where you live, why not incorporate the details of those religious meetings?
What I think is “good” as a possibility this time is that there will be many opportunities to be able to talk carefully face-to-face with the person in question. Among them, if they have earned a certain level of trust, they may be able to help even after that.
Whether it's choosing the characters for the commandment name, or constructing a ceremony, or a kind of condolence (both from the person himself... and from those around him), I think it will be a material for thinking about the future in many ways. That's because it's hard to listen to the person's intentions at the funeral after his death. (Of course, there's also the idea that you don't need to listen).
So, it would be nice if local seniors and chief priests were involved, and in some cases, ask for a memorial service and an accompanying seat, and have them cooperate. Aren't people happy that there are so many monks?
In any case, “no BGM,” let's insist on that first, no matter what the results are. If you think “you should focus on BGM,” that's fine too, but I think it's a suitable case to work hard on.
If you say “no farewell party during your lifetime, but your name is burial during your lifetime,” on the contrary, you get a speech frame and concentrate on the puja. That might be possible too.
It's clear that that person will pull their tail until they actually pass away and until they pray afterwards, so please sit back and think about it.

The monks who answered before have written reasonable advice, so I won't write about hot conversations etc. with the client.

I am aware that it is the duty of the chief priest who takes care of the family temple to follow the wishes of the parishioners.

Master Matsudaira is at a loss, but...
I thought it would be nice if you could answer that the pride of my son would not allow my thankful sutras at the funeral during his lifetime to degenerate into BGM for the party.

I can fully understand the desire to seek a “firm foothold as a religious person.”

However, the opposite intention may be at a loss even when it comes to money, but...

The funeral director has many monks.
Please understand that there is a possibility that any number of monks will come in place of Master Matsudaira, and a funeral will be held during his lifetime, with only one intention from the client.
Or without you.

because the funeral hall is under control, isn't it?

It's out of date to think that work will come in even if you stay out of date and eat rice crackers.
If the monk who performed the funeral in your place during your lifetime is attractive, you can become a parishioner at that temple.

Looking at the place where “the client is a wealthy person lol” is written, I thought that my consciousness as a monk was lacking even though it was disrespectful.

Rather than seeking a “firm foothold as a religious person,” start from there.

　Hello.

This is the Soto sect. I see, it's a “burial during his lifetime.” There are no such requests at my temple so far, but they may gradually come up in the future.

The content of funerals in our sect is “bestowal” (ceremony to become a disciple of the Buddha). Originally, it's something you do when you're alive. A few years ago, I had my son's death ceremony, and I thought it was the same as a funeral. So, if I were you, I think the funeral would be held as usual = “baptism.”

If you want to have fun with music, why don't you encourage them to do it grandly at a dinner party (called “devotion” or “harai” in Shizuoka) after it's over, where there are no monks?

Please be careful regardless of the financial situation of that person's household.

I read your question. There actually is such a thing as a burial during his lifetime, isn't it? I was surprised. I think it would be really bothersome for me too. However, “don't do it for food and clothing.” I think it's better to stop just losing to “The Temptation of Donations” and taking it on. At that point, you won't be a monk; you'll become a professional boy. Wouldn't it be nice if you explained it properly to the parishioners and do it for the sake of the right person?