About graves and memorial services

The other day, the tomb was at a temple of the Shingon sect in Kagawa prefecture, and the Buddhist altar had bones and a Buddhist altar at the house of the second son in Hyogo prefecture, and he taught me how to make a memorial service.
As for the question this time,
① When my mother was alive, I wanted to go to the grave with my father, but she said she didn't like unfamiliar land, so no one other than me went to pray, and my mother was buried in a tomb for permanent memorial services in Hyogo prefecture, my father also moved, and I'm thinking about entering a tomb where I will eventually go in, and if I don't pay an extension fee, it will be merged. I think there are various forms, but when I enter, I'm wondering if I'll put it in the same place as my parents' bones, but is that kind of grave or memorial service OK? I'm thinking of leaving the graves of my ancestors in Kagawa to my older brother.
② As for Buddhist altars, I received an answer last time that it is OK for the second son to be enshrined, but originally, the eldest son should take over, so if I leave it to my older brother, can I only visit graves as a second son? Can I offer flowers, incense sticks, candles, sweets, etc. to the photos and give them sutras? Thank you for your support.

3 Zen Responses

“A house without a principal image is like a barn”

Nice to meet you, Mr. An Kuma-sama.

Since the denominations are different, I will only answer about Buddhist altars.

I think it would be nice to welcome all the siblings to the Buddhist altar.
Once upon a time, when children got married, their parents first gave them a Buddhist altar.
It seems that they used to say, “A house without a principal image is like a barn.”

Therefore, wouldn't it be OK for the second son, Ankuma, to welcome the Buddhist altar to his home, pray, and read sutras?

Please use it as a reference.

About the memorial service

An-kuma-sama

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is a humble answer to the question.

I read your kind words of thanks for your poor response in the past day.

I know that your thoughts on repaying and offering a memorial service to your parents this time are truly precious.

I was able to sense various painful feelings from the text. I am shocked by the fact that such a mother in the middle passed away... I wonder if it was so, I was able to work at the memorial service. Thanks to a reliable relationship with the Buddha, you can now have a peace of mind for future generations, and I hope they are still working hard, and little by little they are aiming for a positive return to society even if they don't force themselves to work hard.

Her mother was all of a sudden, and she seems to be sorry for not being able to express her gratitude, but I also know that the mother is fully aware, including the memorial service that has been held together so far. I may still not be able to sort out my feelings, but I also know that they think “I want to disappear rather than commit suicide or suicide,” and that they may be worried even if they take their mother in the same way...

When it comes to graves, Buddhist altars, and future memorial services, I'm also thinking that once my feelings are spelled out in a letter to my older brother, and after conveying Ankuma's wishes, requests, and inner feelings, it will be adjusted to a form where you can feel safe.

Also, as for Buddhist altars, I know that Buddhist altars are for the purpose of enshrining the principal image to whom the devotion is enshrined and held daily memorial services. Incidentally, I believe that placards are meant to hold memorial services for ancestors in place of graves.

I also know that the most important thing about graves is the heart of the memorial service rather than the shape.

Various circumstances have also been taken into account, and I have consulted with my older brother, the temple, and the cemetery, and I hope that Ankuma can firmly prepare a form where he can feel safe about future enshrines and memorial services.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

An-kuma-sama.

We recommend that you often consult with the family temple in Kagawa Prefecture or your siblings about the matter of burial in graves or making separate graves.

As for how to enshrine Buddhist altars, you can enshrine a Buddhist altar at your home, and read sutras, just as Shakuri Kaoru of Shotoku-ji Temple also said to him.
However, please pray after “putting your gender or soul in (please ask the chief priest of a temple of the Shingon sect)” in the form of the principal image on a Buddhist altar.

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