Dependence on mother

This is my first time asking a question.

It's been 10 years since I lost my mother, but I'm still unable to sort out my relics due to my dependence on my mother and a sense of guilt against my mother who died from overwork during my business trip. My mother's clothes are still in the chest of drawers.
It is often said that time will resolve things, but I can't recover easily, and I cry to my mother and recite sutras.

I'm moving far away this time, and maybe I should take this opportunity to dispose of it, but I can't touch it because I feel like my mother will be far away.
I know in my head that my weakness is that I don't try to move forward, and that my childish dependency...
Will this just make my mother worry?
Is it preventing my mother from attaining Buddhism?

I'm sorry for your busy schedule, monks.
I would be happy if you could give me reprimands, advice, etc.
We look forward to working with you.

3 Zen Responses

Why don't you ask the dealer to do it for you?

The reason is that you can't help but be able to sort out your deceased mother's relics on your own.
If that's the case, why don't you ask the contractor to dispose of it when you move?

Aren't you preventing your mother from attaining Buddhism? If you are obsessed with your mother who has passed away to the extent that you think, I think that would be better in order to live a positive life.

In short, what you should get rid of is not your mother's relics, but your obsession and dependency.

Why don't you do it when you can do it naturally?

Misako

even if it's been 10 years
Overdo it and get your mother's mementos
I don't think it's necessary to dispose of it.

even if time were to resolve it
Not yet for Misako
I think it's a time when I can't sort things out.

Why don't you do it when you can do it naturally?

I don't think it's okay to overdo it and move forward.
It's not weakness, it's not childish
I think it's because of the relationship between Misako and her mother.

nor
No matter what Misako's feelings are
Make your mother worry
Since it does not prevent attaining Buddhism
Please don't worry.

If you care
What does the mother say to Misako
I wonder if they're making a wish
Please think about it.
I think you'll naturally be able to see what you need to do.

I'm waiting for your smile.

Nice to meet you, Misako.
First of all, let me say that Misako never interferes with her mother's attainment of Buddhism by leaving her mother's relics as they are.
However, you may be worried.

Speaking of obsession, that's all, but there are times when no one can “step over.”

But from the time you were born, you probably already knew that your mother would leave before you.

The period of separation from parents varies from person to person.
It's natural that some children are early and others are late.
But someday, there will always come a time when you will leave your parents.

It's not a formidable thing like abandoning an obsession, etc., and it may be time to leave your parents soon.

Your mom can't help but be worried that you won't start walking on your own feet as soon as possible.

You're moving, aren't you?
If so, it might be a good opportunity to move to your mother's house soon for your mother's belongings.

You can choose one or two things called “this is your mother,” share them as relics, and return the rest to your mother.

Also, let me just say this.

You didn't make your mother suffer.
Your mom would have done that even if your child wasn't you.
The mother worked hard of her own will to see her beloved child's smile.
Don't let your mom's smile be overshadowed by your mother's fault.
Your mom wants to see you smile.
It should never happen to your mother that you feel responsible.
You too should understand that when you have children in the future.

For the sake of your mother, it's about time you relax and take the next step.

Mom must want that.

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