I always think about it before going to bed

I want to disappear and be gone...
Suffering swirls around so much that it makes me think so... I wonder what kind of thing is bad. I wonder if that makes me imagine something different from the happiness you are drawing. Or maybe it's always happening today.

When I think about my mistakes and my hardships at the end of the day, I think deeply that I won't be able to get a good night's sleep, and that the same thing will surely happen again. Before going to bed, train as much as possible to sleep while imagining yourself smiling at a good evaluation of yourself today (like doing your best at something like this), and thinking that it doesn't matter if it's delusional, and that it would be nice if it were like this.
If you can't imagine it, you can read a little book with a happy ending before going to bed, or you can read manga on a mobile app, so put something fun in your head and try to fall asleep.

I also look back on my day and sleep while organizing myself, but if I have any anxiety, I have strange dreams. I think he's an easy guy to understand, even for myself (^_^;), so I read a few short stories about happiness and go to sleep.

If you remember it, don't try to erase it.
The very act of disliking memories and trying to reject or forget them is an act that highlights memories. Memories are nothing but memories. It's not real either. The only fact is that I'm trying to sleep now and I'm lying down. Even when I think about the past, I leave it as it is without touching it. It's something I don't hate. If you leave it alone, it will disappear.

The fact is that you can see the surroundings, it feels like a futon, and it smells like a blanket. Remaining in the six functions of eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind, and being in the current state can be said to be a path away from dragging on the past.

Actions at both extremes, such as being positive because it's negative and going from dark to bright, are similar to highlighting memories. So leaving things untouched is the shortest path (^ ^)

Nice to meet you, Numama-san. I read your question.

Numama-san remembers what happened in the past and wants to disappear.

What about Japanese athletes who are active on the world stage?

The book “Prepare Your Mind” by Makoto Hasegawa, who represented Japan in soccer and was the team leader It is written in detail in.

If you don't become No. 1 in the sports world, you won't be recognized. Only one is no good. For this reason, it seems that insidious bullying is commonplace.

What Hasegawa, who has overcome that and continues to produce results, is “passing it on.”

Disgusting things, failures, embarrassing things, etc. are passed on without evaluating them as facts.

I'm praying that Numama-san will also be able to practice so that she can pass on the past.

First, the bottom line is to stop doing that habit.
However, if it comes out naturally, let's first separate what you remember at that time from continuing to think about it.
Delusions and imaginations don't start suddenly.
And as long as there is a feeling of breaking up, it will come to an end right away.
Let's take a close look at the flow of thoughts.
Let's compare it to Momotaro's Momo.
Large Moseau peaches from above the river are dombraco, dombraco.
At first, it just popped through and came to mind.
Pick it up immediately, instantaneously, break that peach, knead the inside, and suddenly peck at the bush, even if Momotaro is in, and it's a snake 🐍.
The mechanism of delusion is the flow of ① grasping the thought that came out ②, ③ unfolding it, and ④ getting addicted to it.
There are only ① Buddhas, scholars, ascetic practitioners, and Zen masters.
It doesn't do ② to ④.
It just came out.
That's why they're not influenced by Moso.
If you want to get the hang of it, try attending a zazen session.
When Momo starts playing, if there are no peaches like that anywhere, let's be able to win or defeat the devil of your heart with a single blow.