What is happiness

Even “Tokyo Tarareba Musume,” which has now become a drama and is a hot topic, depicts a frustrating love affair with a younger man.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I can give good advice from a 26-year-old young monk, but I'm probably the same generation as him, so I'll write it with his feelings...

Since he is younger, the cause of anxiety is unfounded jealousy, such as “I think he'll have an affair with a young person” or “I think he has many encounters,” and an inferiority complex that “young women are better after all” and “if you don't get married soon, they'll be left around.”

In other words, it is “anxiety arising from comparing yourself with those around you.”

It's important to compare yourself to your surroundings.
However, in this case, what is important is the relationship between “you and him.”
Right now, fall in love like a student, think only about him and yourself, don't look outside, and look at the relationship between the two.
If you deal well with him, I'm sure your anxiety will decrease.

Let's take a look at what's inside.
It really is a situation that makes you want to ask “what is happiness.”
Everyone is probably the same that they are “unsatisfied” as a total whole. There's that, there's this, but it's not there. It's a normal state for everyone.
Do you throw away half of the cup of water and see it as “half dry,” or “half left/full”? I mean, it's a question of how to hold a point of view.
Yes, you're looking at the color part. Moreover, humans are not cups, and the total capacity is surely limitless.
If you just look at the sky like “something isn't satisfying,” the actual part may rot before you know it.
Or... maybe there's some merit in not seeing reality.

You probably feel lonely because it doesn't live up to your ideals.
That's because I'm looking at him based on ideals.
Let's determine if he's someone you can trust by looking at him just the way he is.
There are times when the response is not as expected. That too is a matter of course, and they accept it as it is without expectations.

However, when you think about children, age is also relevant, doesn't it? Once you've settled down, it's a good idea to ask if they can think about marriage.
If they don't think about it, it might be better to break up quickly and find someone you can have a serious relationship with.

In any case, I want to find someone I really want to support without being impatient, and someone I can create a relationship where we can support each other.

Do you know the famous song “Ito” by Miyuki Nakajima?

[The vertical thread is you, the horizontal thread is the thread I should meet, people call it tailoring]

Anyway, first of all, congratulations on having a boyfriend.
The vertical and horizontal threads have met, and something is about to be sewn!
There may be many emotions, but no matter what kind of feelings you have, I think it's important to build a relationship between the two little by little.

Happiness is “reconciliation.”
The meaning is “everything that can happen.”
Accept everything that can happen with your partner.
Things like good and walui are personal flavors.

If we were dating, there would be a lot of things going on.
But I took all of them as a “arrangement,”
Wouldn't it be nice to find “happiness” (^_^)

What is happiness?

If you ask the question of whether being connected to someone you love is happy, the answer may be negative in terms of Buddhism.

Who is Shakyamuni

“People who are at the mercy of this tingling lust, which is the source of obsession in this world, all their sorrows increase” Dhammapada 335
“If you refuse this burning desire, which is so difficult in this world, your sorrow will disappear from that person.” Dhammapada 336

You said that. Love generally referred to in Buddhism is thirst (thirst for love). In other words, it's an obsessive and greedy heart. I'm in a state of thirst forever without being satisfied in my quest.

However, humans still seek loved ones. If love were within humans, people would love their partner as they please, and it probably wouldn't be painful.
Love is not within people; people are being tested by relationships called love.
Everyone probably starts with thirst. However, in the end, you won't be able to fully love your partner if you're still thirsty. My opponent isn't me, so it's natural that we don't go the way we want, but we forget this simple fact and try to control our opponent.
And when we hit a wall where we can't love enough with this thirst, we are being questioned whether we will lose to thirst and end the relationship called love, or whether we will awaken to love beyond thirst.

That love is Shinran Shonin, the founder of the Jodo Shinshu sect, called “Shin Ai (faith is... love)” or “the heart of desire, love, and joy.”

Shin Ai... the love of believing in the other person. Believing in someone is love where you accept them as they are, rather than believing them “my thoughts.” They say that love is joy (joy).
You don't devour your partner; if you trust your partner, joy will occur.

A love that has only just begun. I'm in the middle of being tested by love. After going through craving, they arrived at Shin-Ai, and at the end, they hit the wall of separation called separation from Aibetsu again.
Our love doesn't allow us to be the answer forever, and it exists as something we keep asking questions.

That's why Shakyamuni says “refuse.”

What is true happiness?

It's about knowing that it's something you can't rely on, even if it's someone you love. Someday I'll have to leave. Love is the same in the face of the truth that acts are impermanent — nothing remains the same.

I was told that I had nothing to rely on, and I came across something I could really rely on. It's Buddhism.
Ironically, maybe we meet that by loving someone.